The Crazy Mom Blog

Always the Carpenter

Posted on May 22, 2013 by Tamar

This winter I dropped my precious camera and broke it while taking pictures of an icicle that had formed over our Christmas lights.  Since then I have been begging God for a nicer newer one, you know, so I can take *better* pictures of course.  My lovely friend Jennifer let me borrow her camera for a time, which helped me cope with my loss, but it just wasn’t the same. My camera is my lifeline to the absolute breathtaking beauty of God and without it I have seriously lost something very special in my life. I can hardly begin to describe the absolute thrill of the hunt for that shot that captures the beauty of God’s artwork.

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Anyway, so a month or two ago Jennifer needed her camera back and I was left alone with Mr camera phone. Not terribly professional looking or exciting, but God wasn’t seeming to provide anything else soooo I had to make due.
My daughter picked one of the wild violets out of our yard and brought it to me while I was sitting under a tree reading. The lighting was delicious, the flower was so lovely and the gesture so sweet I just had to take a picture, real camera our not. I grabbed my phone And this is what came out:

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That’s when God started getting through to me. Maybe it’s not the camera that takes the pictures, but the person behind it! Maybe there really is a gifting here that can’t hide behind fancy technology and expensive editing software because with those things He doesn’t get any credit. But take all those things away and the only thing left is Him! I have often said that He is the one who creates the picture I just stand there and push the button. And over the last few months He has really proven that to be true.

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It seems to me that this isn’t the only area of my life where God has been doing this for me either. Little by little he seems to be shaving things away, carving me into this new and improved version of who I’ve always been. 

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I heard that Michelangelo said God had the statue of David already in the rock all he did was uncover it. That’s kinda how I feel right now, like this person I am now has always been there inside just waiting to be uncovered. And it makes me wonder how I will continue to change as God continues to carve away pieces, and sand away the rough spots in me. Although man plans the way, the LORD guides his steps.  (Proverbs 16:9)

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And OH the plans that He has for us if we were to just let go and let God do His thing!

(P.S. Every picture in this post is from my phone.)

Categories: The Crazy Mom Blog | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

God is Not Mad at You

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Tamar

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“This is like the days of Noah to me: as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you, and will not rebuke you. For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord , who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:9-10

I don’t know about you, but for this girl who desperately wants to please God there are few words that could ever taste sweeter on my lips than these.
God is not angry with you.
So often in books and sermons we hear about the wrath of God. We tremble at the thought of falling under that wrath, what would be like? What horrors would await us there under the wrath of an almighty God?
But according to this scripture we will never know what that is like. All because Jesus took that punishment for us. At the beginning of this verse God points to the promise he gave Noah that he would never again flood the whole earth. Now in all these thousands of years since He made that promise has God ever gone back on His word?
NOPE!
Not even once!
So is it fairly easy for us to believe with confidence that God is going to continue keeping that promise and that he won’t flood the earth ever again? It’s easy for me to believe that. I’ve seen it over and over again, floods that only go so far while other regions of the world experience drought.
Now if a God who can’t lie has kept His promise about no more global floods, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that He would then also keep this promise to you? He is not angry with you. He is not rebuking you. Though the mountains may fall and the hills may tumble, His steadfast love will always be with you. No matter how far you run, from the highest height to the lowest point He is there with you still. He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. He will never turn His back on you no matter how many times you push Him away. He will always be there. He is always in love with you. Always praying that you will accept His affections.

Categories: Isaiah, The Crazy Mom Blog | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

It’s Not About Me

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Tamar

Haggai 1:1-2:23
& Hebrews 1:1-2:8

What I am about to share with you is one of the most liberating statements of truth I know. Are you ready?

“It’s not about me.”

I know, something so simple and so obvious yet so often overlooked. But as a recovering Pharisee I struggle with legalism a lot. I’ve always been adamant about following the rules… even if it meant hurting someone else or disobeying God.

Mmmm… I heard that! Someone just said, “God doesn’t tell us to disobey rules!” Not so my friend. It was a rule to obey those put in charge over them, yet God called Daniel and his friends to disobey the king’s order to eat non-kosher food. (Daniel 1:8-16) It was a rule to wash your hands before meals, yet Jesus didn’t. (Matthew 15:1-20) It was a rule that you couldn’t pick grain on the Sabbath, yet Jesus and His Disciples did. (Mark 2:23-3:6)

Am I saying that God is telling us to burst into anarchy and break ALL the rules all the time, no, of course not. He is, however, telling us to TRUST JESUS.

Let’s say you just happen to be standing with the Governor of Indiana and the President of the United States. If the Governor tells you to do something and then the President jumps in and says not to do that thing, whose word trumps whose? Which one of them do you choose to trust and obey? The President! He is the highest authority in the land.

My point is this; throughout the Bible God repeats, over and over again, “do not fear” and “I am with you.” In fact many times they’re found together in the same sentence. Right now some of you may be facing a mountain of debt that just isn’t seeming to move, or a tumor(s) that just won’t seem to go away. You may be facing a situation at work where you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Don’t be afraid of what those things can do in your life, because the highest authority in ALL the land is right there facing that thing with you! He is on YOUR side. He’s not fighting against you, He’s fighting with you. He is the creator of those mountains we can’t seem to climb on our own. And He has given us the promise that apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5), which translates into, a part of Him, we can do EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING!

When we realize and remember that Jesus is always with us through His Holy Spirit, WE can move that mountain of debt, WE can dissolve that nasty cancer, WE can get out from between that rock and the hard place. Because Jesus is on our side we can suddenly do things we couldn’t before because we’re suddenly fighting with His strength, His talent, His power through the Holy Spirit.

My friends, today because of Christ we can say with confidence, “It’s not about me.” Because we know the Truth; it’s ALL about Jesus!

Categories: 365 Life, Haggai, Sheridan Reporter, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | 2 Comments

Permission to Fail

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Tamar

Friday was an anniversary of sorts for me and my ministry. And looking back over it all I am so overwhelmed with how far we’ve come and how much things have changed. And looking forward at the calendar, things are still changing! It’s all very exciting, and a little nerve wracking as I’m trying my best to simply keep up with everything that God is doing. But He is so faithful and He has held me through it all. I am so blessed by you all and the work that I have been called to do for you. It has changed me in ways I NEVER could have expected and yet I look at myself today and I am so very thankful for the work the Father has done in me. I love myself today. I love who I have become and who I am. I don’t know that I could have said that four years ago; at least not in a completely honest way. I didn’t love who I was because I wasn’t looking at myself from God’s point of view. I wasn’t seeing my situations, my past or my faults through His eyes of complete love. I was choosing to see them through Satan’s eyes of condemnation. When I think back on how I treated myself it makes me want to weep. I never gave myself permission to fail. And when I did fail, I would lay there and let Satan beat me brutally – because I thought I deserved it.

Last Thursday I visited a home for troubled girls. I didn’t really sit and talk with any of the girls, but I was able to hear a few of their stories and experience a small nibble of their day with them. I walked the same halls they walk, I ate the same lunch they eat, and I talked with their teacher. And through it all I realized how alike we all are. We all deal with the same demons, we all fight the same Enemy, we all allow him to beat us verbally until his face turns blue. And we do that because he has us convinced that we deserve it.

There was a time when we might have deserved it, if we had lived before Christ came. But we don’t. We have the luxury and privilege of living after Christ’s death. And what a privilege it is! Because of Jesus we can look at ourselves through Son-glasses. Glasses that were forged through the fires of hell as Jesus walked through them FOR US, because He knew that they were far too hot for us to stand.

In a strange way I almost envy those girls. Because at the ripe old age of 17 (give or take a few years) they will have walked through something so tremendous, with Jesus, that their faith will be far less shakable throughout the rest of their lives. Their foundation for their life will be so much firmer having gone through what they have been through. Not to mention the works that the Lord will have them do once they have finished the program! Yes. While I do not envy their sufferings, I do envy the relationship with Christ that will come from those sufferings. These girls will be leaders, strong leaders, you just wait and see! God has big plans for them!

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Trust Him

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Tamar

7:00 PM: I received a frenzied phone call from a deacon at Hills Baptist church. They were in urgent need of someone to give the message the next morning. I said, “Sure! Because, I mean really, what are author/speaker friends for?”

8:00 PM: While driving home from Noblesville, I called my prayer partner to pray and make plans.

8:30 PM: Arrived home and sent texts to everyone I could think of that might pray for me, God’s message for the church and their reception of it.

9:00 PM: I took a long shower to pray and ask God what that message was. He wouldn’t tell me! While getting ready for bed? No response. In my dreams? Nothing. Not a single peep!

6:00 AM Sunday: I got up and pulled out my trusty notebook and Reynolds Farm Equipment pen to start writing. God’s message or not, I needed something!

9:00 AM: With my message mostly written and the family dressed and ready, we jumped into the truck and headed north to Hills Baptist where we were ever-so-warmly received. I kid you not, it felt like walking into my mom’s house it was so warm and homey there! Isn’t it awesome how the brotherhood of believers really is a family in Christ!

9:30 AM: the family gets all nestled into their pew, and the service gets underway. I stepped up behind the pulpit, set my Bible and notebook down, opened my mouth and the Holy Spirit took over. From that moment on I didn’t even glance at my notes. Because I wasn’t delivering my message I was delivering His. Standing there staring at that sea of beautiful friendly faces He said to me, “What were you so afraid of? All these weeks of stressing, did you really think I wouldn’t show up?”

From the first day I accepted this call into the ministry I have been overwhelmed by the responsibility of it all. But what God showed me on Sunday is how little I trusted Him to help me do what He has called me to do! For the last month I’ve been stressing over the right words to say and the right way to present them, all the while forgetting that the One who called me to it, would also be the One to get me through it.

My God is the greatest promise keeper there ever was or will be. Even if it kills Him, He will keep His promises, from the greatest to the least. And in those times when it doesn’t feel like He’s ever going to come through, those are the times when we need to put our high heels on and dig them in. We’ve got to stand firm in our belief of His faithfulness to us. If we’re not standing firm in our faith, we won’t stand at all. His faithfulness is our shield and rampart. He is a refuge in which we can trust.

Categories: The Crazy Mom Blog | 3 Comments

Little Miss Perfect

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Tamar

I don’t know about you, but this week has been hard on me! A lot of my struggle has been with my old nemesis, Perfection. You may be familiar with her too. She’s that voice in your ear that tells you your hair doesn’t look quite right, or “you shouldn’t have dressed like that to go to Wal-Mart. What were you thinking?” Perfection is the one who points out the teeny tiny stain on your shirt AFTER you’ve left the house only to then make you uber conscious of it the ENTIRE time you’re in that meeting with your boss. Perfection is the voice that tugs at your soul as your kids jump on the bus, “the other moms drive their kids to school.” She’s the one that points out the dust when you’re playing with the kids and points out the kids when you’re cleaning up the dust. Honestly, she’s a huge pain in the patoot!

And for this week her favorite topic of torment for me has been a speech I’ve been trying to write. If I’m not working on it she makes me feel like I should be. And if I am working on it she makes me feel like it’s not good enough.

Little Miss Perfect has got to go! She is no longer welcome on my shoulder. She is no longer allowed in my ear or in my head! I am who I am. I am NOT perfect and that is just fine. God didn’t create me to be perfect. He created me to be perfectly imperfect. That way, I would seek His perfection and help. This creates a blissful balance between God and me. I always need Him and He’s always here for me. He’s always the strength in my weakness. He’s always the sufficient grace to the thorn in my side. He’s the butter to my popcorn and the jelly to my peanut butter. His perfection is the perfect complement to my imperfection. So why do I constantly try to cover up my imperfections? By doing that I’m covering up Him! And just thinking that makes me sad. Why, oh why do I try so hard to be perfect? *exasperated sigh* Maybe someday I’ll defeat Perfection once and for all. But for now I’m pretty pleased with having defeated her for the moment.

Categories: The Crazy Mom Blog | 5 Comments

Kadosh

Posted on March 16, 2013 by Tamar

Kadosh, it’s a Hebrew word that means holy, as in something that is set apart for a special purpose. This week, but especially today I am learning the full meaning of this word.

Usually I go about life writing during the day while the kids are at school and then being the mom/wife in the evenings when the family is home. This is fairly normal for most working women these days. But I’m learning now that I have stepped into a season in my life where there will be times when I am Kadosh, set apart from the norm for a special purpose. Because most of the time I’m writing and can only do so much at a time – because I’m writing a day at a time usually. Except right now, I’m not in a writing phase; I’m in a publishing one. (Tamar wears MANY hats.) And while the writing phase has certain time limitations and a “normal” schedule, I’m finding that the publishing phase has a very different schedule. One where I am basically on lock down until the work is finished.

So, I wrote all that to say this. Friends, family, lend me your ears for a moment. I love you, I cherish you, and I desperately want to spend time with you but right now I can’t. I have a job to do and until it’s done I won’t be coming out from behind my computer. Please be in prayer for me as I do this sacred work behind the veil. And know that as soon as I am permitted to come back out I will be bringing with me something new, special, and just for you!

Think of it kind of as a delivery room, not everyone gets to go in during the delivery, but everyone gets to coo at the baby when they come!

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Lunch Buddies

Posted on March 15, 2013 by Tamar

Hee hee hee!!! I am so excited that I get to blog today! I feels like forever that I’ve been able to come on here and talk to you all!!! I have been SOOO busy getting this next Bible Study up and running and ready. There has been so much going on here behind the scenes and I am seriously on pins and needles waiting to unveil it to you! You’re gonna LOVE it! It seriously is all I can do to contain my glee in this moment, deep breath… It won’t be too much longer, I hope.

I can give you this little peek behind the curtain, the new book/Bible Study cover and title:

Waiting front cover only

Ahhhh… there’s nothing like waiting on a Bible Study about waiting right? You know you love me!

Yup, the writing is finished, the proof copy has been sent to the editor, the front cover is done, it’s so close I can almost taste it! I love being able to see the finish line don’t you!

On Fridays I go to the school to have lunch with the kids. Today, as I was walking up to the school I was wondering if Anna would, for the third week in a row, forget that I was coming and bringing her forgotten lunch and get another one before I got there ending up with three lunches for the two of us. And it just made me think of all the times when we forget that our heavenly Father is bringing something into our lives. He’s coming with something big and exciting and we forget so we work on and worry about that very same thing only to see Him coming around the corner with His version of what we’ve been working on… and it’s SO MUCH BETTER than what we did that our version pales in comparison and we just want to hide it behind our backs.

Every time I have walked into the cafeteria carrying a lunch for my daughter that I know she will love and actually eat, and see her walking to the table with a tray filled with food that I know that she will not eat, God has tapped me on the shoulder and said, “you know you do that too right?” Siiiigh…

Why do we worry and sweat over things that He’s got under control? So often we think, “Oh! This and such doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere God must need me to do something about it. Maybe He needs my help…” No. He doesn’t need your help. He needs your TRUST. He needs for you to believe in Him to do what needs to be done that you can’t do. He needs for us to be still, silent, quiet, peaceful, calm, motionless, carefree, and know that HE is God, that He has it all under control and that when it is time for us to DO something He WILL let us know it.

Once upon a time… OK, all the time, I was worrying over my sins, I was worrying over whether or not I was doing the right thing and God stopped me and said, “I am a good Father, if you’re doing something wrong, I will tell you.”

Oh! He IS a good Father! And He DOES tell us when we’re doing something wrong or when we’re doing something right! We just have to be still enough to be able to hear Him!

Oh how I love being on this phase of writing! There’s nothing like being at the end of a season and looking back over the whole thing and seeing how it all unfolded right before your eyes but couldn’t see it until now. My season of “waiting” is over, I know it, I can feel it down to my bones. God is opening my eyes to so many things right now and it’s amazing. Time is rushing by like a freight train and the rush of wind as it passes is taking my breath away. All I can do right now is laugh. Laugh at God’s sense of humor and irony. Laugh at how perfectly it has all fit together. Laugh at how wonderful He really truly is, and know that I’ve only BARELY scratched the surface.

God’s got my back. I don’t have to worry or fear the future, because I know the One who holds it in the palm of His eternally merciful hand and He loves me enough to die for me. I am so blessed to know this God whose word always proves true. This God who proves His faithfulness to His people in so many abundant ways. This God who fills the earth with so many colors of His love that there is no way to count them all! Yes! This is MY God. This is MY Father who brings me the best lunch I could imagine, so I don’t need to worry about getting my own lunch because I know that His will be so much better in every way!

God bless you my friends! I have missed you!!!!

Categories: 365 Life, The Crazy Mom Blog | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Quick Update

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Tamar

I just wanted to get on here quickly and let you know that I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet or anything. In fact, I think and pray about you daily! I am preparing the next “launch” for our ministry. So prayers for “365 Life” are greatly appreciated! I am so very excited about it. Truly, it’s nothing new to any of you who have followed this blog for any length of time, it’s simply the Bible in a Year reading plan. But it’s more formatted and formalized. It will be launching on the www.Walkofages.com website in the next month or so as we’re still recording the weekly wrap up messages and putting things to bed format-wise. But it is all very exciting and wonderful and I can hardly wait to share it with all of you!!! So if you have not yet signed up to follow that particular blog and you’re interested in reading through the Bible with us, make sure to click on the link above! I’ve spent many many hours getting that site prepared to host our little daily Bible Study, so stop on by and see what I’ve done with the place. 🙂 Also, if you would like to have a journal that coordinates with our daily readings click here or a coordinating Bible click here! All of these links can be found at the Walk of Ages website in the side margins or on the home page.

I’m still working, not so diligently, on the book website and getting it functional… it’s proving itself to be a pain! I’ll let you know when it is in a better place… but not yet. (worried grin)

As for this lovely home away from home, I’m going to try to keep it for updates and announcements, prayer requests and of course (now that my phone is fixed) pictures of the hearts and smiles that God gives me from time to time. If you’re curious what that is all about click here and read how this tradition began. I pray that God will open your eyes to the signs of His unfailing love in wonderful ways all around you every day!

 

Categories: SHMILY!, The Crazy Mom Blog | Leave a comment

Heart SMILY

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Tamar

So I’ve been fasting for the last few days, I needed some extra clarity in my life. Anyway, I am, right now, breaking my fast with a communion of orange juice and an everything bagel. Because, there’s no grape juice in the house at the moment, and just a plain piece of bread didn’t seem right compared to an everything bagel…because Jesus is everything right? So I’ve got my bagel all fixed up and ready to eat and I go to put it on the plate & realize there’s a heart in the middle! God loves me!

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Categories: The Crazy Mom Blog | Tags: , , | 9 Comments

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