Posts Tagged With: sex

Blessings

“I have received a command to bless; He has blessed, and I can not change it.” Numbers 23:20

Today I’d like to share with you the story of Balaam and Balak from Numbers 22-25. King Balak can see the Israelites stretched out across the country side and it strikes fear in his heart. He’s heard the stories of everyone else going up against these armies and getting squashed like bugs… and he could be next! So in his fear he summons Balaam, a local soothsayer with a reputation for successful blessings and curses. Balak sends several elders of Moab and Midian to deliver his message to Balaam. When they get there Balaam consults the LORD and asks if he should go or not. God tells him “no”, and he sends them all away. So Balak sends a group of princes heavy with treasure to ask Balaam again. He inquires of the LORD again, this time God says “Since these men have come to summon you, go with them, but do only what I tell you.” (22:20) So Balaam goes with them, has an incident with his donkey on the way that we’re going to skip over because it doesn’t apply directly to my point today. Anyway, he gets to Balak and explains “I can’t say just anything. I must speak only what God puts in my mouth.” (22:38) Then they go up, sacrifice some bulls, Balaam has a pow wow with God alone and then returns to Balak with God’s message in his mouth.

Now Balak hired Balaam to curse the nation of Israel because the Moabites were afraid of what the Israelites would do to them. But when Balaam came down from meeting with God all he could do was bless Israel! Balak said furiously “What have you done to me? I brought you here to curse my enemies, but you have done nothing but bless them!” and Balaam answered “Must I not speak what the LORD puts in my mouth?” (Numbers 23:11-12) But Balak, not being one to give up easily took Balaam to another spot where he could see the Israelites, perhaps he could curse them from a different view. Exasperated sigh… so, from a different angle they present their offering, Balaam went off by himself to receive the LORD’s message and then returned to deliver my favorite of Balaam’s FOUR blessings to Israel:

“Arise, Balak, and listen; hear Me son of Zippor. God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; He has blessed, and I can not change it. No misfortune is seen in Jacob, no misery observed in Israel. The LORD their God is with them; the shout of the King is among them. God brought them out of Egypt; they have the strength of a wild ox. There is no sorcery against Jacob, no divination against Israel. It will now be said of Jacob and of Israel, see what GOD has done! The people rise like a lioness; they rouse themselves like a lion that does not rest till he devours his prey and drinks the blood of his victims.” (Numbers 23:18-24)

Blessings from the LORD are irreversible! No one can curse what God has blessed, no sorcerer can be against it, no divination can break it, nothing or no one can reverse what God has blessed. My friends I pray that you’re catching my drift on this one, but in case you’re not, let me make it a little more plain. As a child of God you have been adopted into this family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You may be a branch that has been grafted in, but you’re still part of this family tree! Every word of blessing that God used Balaam to speak over the house of Israel, he was speaking over you too! God Himself has spoken His blessings over you and your life! Hallelujah! And what God has blessed the Enemy can NOT curse! Oh can I get a praise the LORD from the choir on that one?!?

However, this is unfortunately not where our story ends for the day. Because although no one else can remove God’s blessing from your heads, you can. According to Numbers 31:16 Balaam gave Balak some parting advice. Balak couldn’t beat them with might, and Balaam couldn’t curse them because of their blessing, but they could ensnare the Israelites to remove the blessing from themselves. Although nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38-39), we can separate ourselves from that love, by the choices we make. God has promised to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), but we can certainly make the choice to turn our backs and leave Him.

So, what advice did Balaam leave with Balak? Sex. He suggested that the Moabite women go and seduce the Israelite men – drawing them not only out of covenant with their wives but also out of covenant with their God. In Deuteronomy twenty-eight when God lays out the laws of blessing and cursing He prefaces the blessings with “IF you carefully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all His commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you IF you obey the LORD your God:” (Deuteronomy 28:1-2) and He prefaces the list of curses (which is easily twice as long as the blessings) with “However, IF you do not obey the LORD your God and do not carefully follow all His commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come upon you and over take you.” (Deuteronomy 28:15)

IF, is a very strong word. It may be a small word, at only two skinny letters, but its a mighty one that packs a punch. IF you obey, you are blessed and IF you do not obey… well… then you’re not blessed. And believe it or not, it is completely possible to be blessed in many areas of your life and still be cursed in others. Your disobedience to the laws of God (love your neighbor as yourself) brings havoc and heartache, period. And the disobedience that brings the most havoc and heartache? Sexual immorality – adultery, porn, homosexuality, bestiality, you name it! And the worst part is, it’s not just physical sexual immorality that brings curses,  it’s spiritual sexual immorality too! How many times in the Old Testament did the LORD refer to the nation of Israel as an adulterous nation? A LOT! As a nation, they were following the physical rules and yet their hearts had been led astray! They had allowed other things to get between their God and themselves. God’s flow of blessing is permanent, it can not be broken or stopped, but it can be redirected when you put up blessing blockades between yourself and God when you sin.

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They

Once upon a time, in a high school far far away from here there lived a cute, short, curly-haired Freshman girl who had a friend named Carey. At this same school, with the same friend there was a Senior football player. He was handsome and funny and was extremely muscular. On the first day of school, the girl was nervous at lunch time. “Who will be in my lunch group with me this year?” she wondered, “Who will I sit with?” As she emerged from the lunch line and into the bright lunchroom she immediately spotted her friend Carey, a senior on her dance squad. She rushed over to see if she could sit with her. “Of course!” Carey said, and the girl sat down relieved that there was at least one familiar face in her lunch group. Next, Carey’s other friend, the Senior football player came up and asked if he could sit with Carey too! Seeing as how there was plenty of room and he was her friend too they said “sure”.

Almost every day after that, lunch was spent with these three friends chatting over one thing or another, high school issues, those kinds of things. And the more the girl got to know the boy, the more the girl liked the boy. He was fun to be with, he liked a lot of the same things that she liked. But the best thing of all was how he made her laugh. He had such a strange sense of humor that she just adored about him. After several months of this, Carey and the girl were waiting in the lunch line when the boy walked up behind the girl and covered her eyes with his hands, “Guess who?” he said. Of course she guessed immediately, and he let go of her eyes and stepped into line next to the girls to wait for lunch. That afternoon Carey, their mutual friend, mentioned to each of them that they might make a cute couple. Hmmmmm…. But alas, at the time he was single and she wasn’t, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

However, it wasn’t long before the girl broke up with the boy that she was seeing and took a bit more interest in the boy. He WAS handsome, very handsome now that she was looking a little closer. And wow! Look at those arms, he MUST lift weights, a lot! But, it was too late for her now too, he was asking another girl out by now. Siiiiiigh……

By this time Christmas was getting nearer and nearer and it was basketball season at the school. The girl was busy preparing for the halftime shows at the games and the boy was busy preparing for wrestling season (Oh, yeah, he wrestles too), and pursuing that other girl. So our girl started focusing less on the boy and more on her dancing, and a little on school too. The time came around for the dance squad gift exchange and the girls all filled out their short wish lists, placed them in a bag and then one by one drew them out to see who they had for the Secret Santa gift exchange. The girl, just as a joke put the boy’s name at the bottom of her wish list, because EVERYONE on the dance squad knew that she liked him and whoever got her list would think it was funny. Little did she know, but her friend Carey had gotten her list! The last few weeks of school went by quickly and the girl quickly forgot about her little “addition” to her list. The night of the last game of the year came around and there was a dance planned for after the game. All the girls from the squad were planning on going together, it was the last dance of the year before Christmas, they HAD to go! The game ended and the girl was in a small storage room next to the band room putting her things away when she looked up to see the boy changing his shirt. She nearly swooned at his rippling muscles! “Ahhhhh,” she sighed, “maybe someday”, as the boy then walked past her to the hallway on his way to somewhere else in the school.

Suddenly Carey came storming into the storage room with her coat. “Why does she have her coat?” the girl thought, “I thought she was staying for the dance.”

“I have another present for you!” Carey said with a giant grin.

“OK” the girl said suspiciously, one eyebrow cocked to the air. They had already done their gift exchange and she had said nothing of more gifts being in store for her, what was going on? Carey flung her coat over the girl’s head and led her in the direction that the boy had just gone. She wanted to say that she had no clue what was going on, but she did have one glimmering hope that it would be the one thing that she expected the least to get from a colorguard gift exchange. As Carey wrangled her into the hallway the rest of the girls in the squad chattered and giggled excitedly in a circle around her as she came to stop in front of two red wrestling shoes on the hallway floor. Carey asked her, “are you ready for your surprise?” “I guess so”, she replied, what DO you say in a moment like that? When Carey pulled the coat off her head the girl raised her eyes from the shoes on the floor to the jean wearing legs that were attached to them, to the familiar black shirt that she had just swooned over moments before, to the absolutely beaming face of that handsome Senior football player she’d had her heart set on for the last few months. The look on his face was PRICELESS to say the least, he was so proud of the fact that she had asked for him for Christmas and that he was able to deliver that gift himself. A trophy date for the dance to be sure! She nearly passed out as ALL the blood in her body seemed to flock instantly to her face! Boy, he sure was cute, and all hers for the night. After months of crossing paths, there they were, both single and staring at each other… with the entire dance squad standing around them watching! They all walked off toward the cafeteria where the dance was being held that night, the boy and the girl still in a bit of a daze as to what to do with themselves. The girl asked the boy, “I thought you liked Katie, what happened?” He said, “she told me ‘no’ because she knew that you liked me”. It looks like things might actually work out for these two.

The next Monday at lunch the girl found herself sitting alone for some reason, I don’t remember why. Until just a few minutes before the lunch bell rang. She was just getting ready to get up and take her tray to the kitchen when the boy came strolling through the lunchroom door headed right for her lonely table. He plopped himself down and said “I’ve got a question for ya”. “OK” she replied, “what’s up?” He tossed his huge class ring across the table at her and said “will you go out with me?” As she sat there watching the ring spin like a top in the middle of the round table, what else could she say but “YES!”? And right there, in that small town school lunch room she and he became “they”. “They’re a couple now”, “they’re dating now”, “they’re an item now”. And they were, and have been for the last SEVENTEEN years, today. I am that girl, my husband is that boy, and he still makes me swoon when he takes his shirt off! Our “they” has increased from just the two of us, to the four of us plus two cats and a tank full of fish. As for everything in between that day and this day? Well, most of that is for another day’s blog, but parts of it can also be found in our book True Intimacy, the story of how our love became cursed through the sin of pre-marital sex and then adultery. And how Jesus redeemed that love and broke the curse, and the details on how you too can have a truly intimate marriage! Jesus can help, He helped us, and He’s more than willing to help you too! Trust me, it’s TOTALLY worth it. I thought that we had lost that high school romance long ago, but we hadn’t lost it, we had just cursed it, pushed it back away from us with our sins. But with God’s help we learned how to change all that, how to get that lovey feeling back, only it was better this time. Because it had depth and meaning and healing in it. Yes, this time our love was rich and real and founded on what it should’ve been founded on it the beginning, JESUS and His grace. I am more desperately in love with my husband today than I ever was seventeen years ago, and this morning as I snuggled up to him in bed I told him just that, and then said “and just think, if I love you this much more now than I did then, how much MORE will I love you seventeen years from today???” And he squeezed me tight in his warm and still very muscular arms and said “I love you” in that way that always makes my heart melt for him.

God has blessed us with something that many couples never get, a second chance at love with the person they fell in love with in the beginning. Through what I can only account as the grace of God, we have stayed together through some really tough stuff, and I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am for it! The love that I feel for this man is so much deeper than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone in my entire life. And honestly, that’s only possible because of the forgiveness and TIME that we have invested into each other. Neither one of us was willing to give up on “us” when I was so very ready to give up on him. During those cursed years of our relationship, which in all honesty was the majority of those seventeen years, we stuck together, many times just for the sake of sticking together. But I can’t tell you how glad I am today that we did stick it out despite those really cursed years. It’s funny how breaking a curse can change things. Happy things happen now, and we’re happy, not so happy things happen now… and we somehow manage to still find happiness, in each other. Nothing is perfect, and we’re just as not-perfect as everyone else, but we’ve found joy in our not-perfect-ness though. 🙂

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Day 33: Celebrate

So these days were to be remembered and celebrated throughout every generation, every family, every province and every city; and these days of Purim were not to fail from among the Jews, or their memory fade from their descendants.  Esther 9:28

At this point in our fast, I was studying Beth Moore’s Esther: it’s Tough Being a Woman and it wasn’t but a day or two after our “first time” that this verse came up in our bible study.  Beth Moore was telling us about how important it is to God that we celebrate the times when He delivers us from the enemy’s hand.  The Israelites were delivered from slavery in Egypt, so they celebrate Passover.  In Esther they were delivered from an evil man’s plot to commit genocide, so they celebrate Purim.  As Christians we were delivered from sin and death by Christ’s death on the cross, so we celebrate Easter.  God loves it when we celebrate the miracles He’s performed in our lives.

God used this fast to deliver us from the bondage and slavery of sexual sin.  And I pray that He has done the same for you as well.  Therefore we should celebrate that deliverance!  The way that Christian and I have started celebrating is by fasting monthly during my period.

While some people may find the Old Testament laws “old-fashioned” and “out-dated” and “there’s no need to follow them all”, I feel that following them will bring us a much greater blessing than not following them.  With that being said, in Leviticus 15:19 it says, When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. And in Leviticus 18:19 it says, Also you shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness during her menstrual impurity. (Notice, it’s a repeated scripture…)  Now from some of the people I’ve talked to about these scriptures, they feel that this was simply for a cleanliness issue back then, they had no running water.  However, I’m not so sure.  This is blood that we’re talking about, and we KNOW how God feels about blood, it’s a serious thing for Him.  So, like I said earlier, I don’t think that God can give us his full blessing if we’re not following his laws; even the “old” ones.

So, anyway, back to celebrating.  As a celebration of how God has changed our marriage, every month for the 7 days of my period Christian and I mini-fast.  We change clothes in the bathroom, we hug, and 10 second kiss, and that’s it.  We use that time to back away from each other and draw closer to God.  During the week I pray that God draw out anything that is standing between God, Christian, and I before the 7th day.  And, so far we’ve had something to talk about every time.  On the 7th day, I take my purity bath, prepare myself for my husband, and become the lioness again – he leads.  And, it’s still amazing sex.  I’ll be honest, life still happens and there are still times when things don’t go quite as we hope they will, but the intimacy is more than I ever could have hoped for.  Glory to God!

Christian’s comments:

I know, husbands, I know.  You’re probably thinking “What? We just started having sex again after thirty days, and now you want us to fast a week every month!” I was thinking the same thing. Believe me when I tell you, as great as the sex is when you stop each month, it’s better when you start again after her period. Treat this short fast as seriously at the 30 day fast. The same rules apply. No sexual activities of any kind.

You will learn so much about one another during that week. It is actually a lot of fun. So be happy in the celebration. You will get so much closer to your wife, that the sex will become even more amazing.

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Day 25: Intoxicating

I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh along with my balsam.  I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.  Eat, friends; Drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers. Song of Solomon 5:1

Nine days left, you’re almost there!  So many things have happened in the last 20 days haven’t they?  God works that way; I love how He manages to make everything fit together so that we learn the things that He wants us to learn in the time that He wants us to learn them.  I’m dedicating this chapter to telling you about Intoxicating love.

Although the physical act of sex was what I always thought I truly wanted, it turns out that the physical intimacy of sex was not what I was searching for; in the end it was never enough.  What I had been searching for was spiritual and emotional intimacy with my husband.  While sex is important and healthy and necessary, it’s only a portion of the picture of marriage.  When we have sex our bodies’ physical need is fulfilled, and with sex our souls and emotions are completely tied into the act of intercourse as well.  But, it’s possible to have physically satisfying intercourse; all while leaving our souls wanting more.  If you’re only having intercourse it can be physically satisfying for you, and your emotions will go along with it, for a time; but after a while you just feel emptier inside, instead of fulfilled.  There’s a look in Christian’s eye that I cherish.  It’s a look of complete adoration and love for me; a look that in an instant tells me how lucky he feels that I’m his wife.  In that instant, I’m emotionally, physically and spiritually connected with him.

So often in our lives we settle for “good” when we could have the “BEST”.  We settle for the “good” sex of the moment, pre-marital sex, self-pleasuring and adultery, instead of continuing to strive for the BEST sex of monogamy; where we can fully and completely give ourselves to one another without the fear of loss or rejection.  I know that’s what Christian and I did.  Instead of waiting for the “ocean” of married sex, we settled for the “pond” of premarital sex.  It wasn’t until we went through this fast, invited God into the marriage and our bedroom, that we experienced intoxicating sex and true intimacy for the first time.  And MY OH MY!  We will NEVER go back!!!  Now prepare yourselves, this next part is a little “R-rated”.  But it’s OK, because God is in it too.

One night while “getting intoxicated” with my Beloved, in that moment of near climax I was marveling at how perfectly his body was… ummm… shall we say… fitting, with mine when I loudly thanked God for creating him for me to enjoy in this way.  God proudly whispered in my ear, “Isn’t he just perfect”.  It was more than I could bear, because he is!  God created my husband just for me.  He created him to balance me perfectly in every possible way.  He created him to chemically and electrically balance me, perfectly.  He created him in a way where our personalities balance each other, perfectly.  Christian is my other half.  And although I’ve had my moments of doubt and frustration with him, the fact still remains.  God made him for me and me for him.  My beloved is mine and I am his.  (Song of Solomon 2:16a)

How can I doubt God’s judgment in putting us together?  He is God after all.  Your husband is the opposite of you in many ways and that can get annoying occasionally but, cherish it because it’s those differences that create the perfect balance between the two of you.  He’s your other half, together you create a whole.

Christian’s comments:

Wow! Is it getting hot in here? Whew!  That pond looked good when we jumped in it. It felt pretty good to swim in too. For a while that is. But there was always something that didn’t seem right. I think about the first time that Tamar and I had sex. It really wasn’t that good. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Let me tell ya though, the first time we made love after our fast it was AMAZING! I would like to imagine that it would have felt like that on our wedding night if we had waited.  I encourage you to hold on and fast for a little while longer. Trust me, it will be worth it.

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Day 4: Fast

Then Joshua said to the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do wonders among you.”  Joshua 3:5

OK, so if you’re still reading today you’ve decided to see this thing out the whole way.  You’ve decided to join us on our journey and sex fast with us.  I’m telling you, this is very powerful stuff, not for the faint of heart.  However, you WILL NOT REGRET THIS!  Christian was reluctantly compliant in our first and second sex fast (yes, believe it or not, we’ve done this more than once) and close to the end of the second fast he told me, “We should really do this again sometime”.  Taking sex out of your relationship changes it, dramatically.  I’m going to be honest with you, fasting is difficult.  You will fight, you will cry, you will be frustrated and you will be angry; and so you will pray, you will read (I suggest the Bible along with this blog), and you will seek God like never before.  This is why I wish I could be there with you, to encourage you to keep going.  You CAN survive this storm and your marriage WILL be so much better for it in the end.  “Fasting is the most sacred, most serious, most sacrificial way to present ourselves in total devotion to the Lord.  Fasting helps us relinquish our will to God.  By abstaining from food [or sex], humbling our souls, and setting worldly matters aside in an act of worship, we can please God beyond compare.”2

God cares more about our motives than our actions.  Therefore, we fast as an act of thanks for the second chance He has given us, and as atonement for the sexually immoral acts that we have committed in the past.  This is not something to take lightly my friend; you are entering into a serious commitment, one that will have a major impact on your life, a very positive one if you’re willing to do it for the right reasons.  Here are the rules of the road, they’re pretty simple and there are only two.

1) Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting.  Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.  But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.  (Matthew 6:16-18) In other words, don’t make a big deal about the fast to everyone you see.  In fact, don’t tell anyone, it’s to be done in “secret”.  We committed our sexually immoral acts in secret and God saw them; similarly redeem them in secret as well.  God will see it and reward you for it.  So far in my experience I’ve had a rule of 2 for my fasting.  Both times God has given me 2 other people to share my secret.  I have asked those people to pray for me and my husband that we may be successful in our fast, and that we will grow closer to God and each other because of it.  Other than those 2 people, to everyone else it’s business as usual, no matter what, no complaining, grumbling or twisting your face to show disapproval.  Remember, God sees what is done in secret, both the bad and the good.  Trust me, this IS worth it.

2) This fast includes ALL SEXUAL ACTIVITY OF ANY KIND.  We’re not just talking about strictly sex here.  We’re talking no sex, no touching each other (except for hugs and 10 second kisses), and no touching yourself! NOTHING FOR 30 DAYS!  It was through complete abstinence that we grew so much during that time.  Plus, in a way, it was resetting our bodies back to the “manufacturer’s settings” so to speak.  Seriously, if you do not take my word for this particular part of the fast you will not gain as much from the experience.  Trust me on this one!

To help you through this I suggest memorizing some scriptures.  They are extremely wise and really do help in those moments of weakness.  Two of my favorites for this are: 1 Corinthians 9:27 and Romans 6:14.  Both of these verses appealed to me because of the idea of being the master of my body.  There were moments of temptation, many of them.  And in those moments I could not allow my body the luxury of indulgence; I had to “beat” it instead.  I would say to myself, “No body, you are NOT in control and you will not get your way this time!”  That’s the true meaning of “SELF” control.  Your body is NOT the master of you!  You are the master of your body; do not allow your body to be the one in control!

A couple quick notes before I hand the laptop over to Christian. Wives, before day 30 arrives make sure to buy a new white bra and panties and if money isn’t too tight, a beautiful white satin nightgown.  I’ll explain more about this later, but for now, start looking for some beautiful new underwear or jammies… or BOTH!

Christian’s comments:

All right! You guys are on board, so let’s DO THIS THING! Husbands! You may not be too thrilled by this, but you just need to suck it up! Oh wait poor choice of words there. You can handle it! No, that’s not right either. It’s going to be hard, scratch that, difficult, but you will manage.  Seriously, though, you will get through this. You have to follow the rules though.

Number one: No whining, complaining, moaning, groaning, or any other form of grumbling allowed. Don’t say anything to the guys at work. No “The old lady says” comments to your buddies that you play sports with. No “Old ball and chain” remarks to the guys in the garage (if you’re a gear-head like me). Tell no one! Just live your life like nothing is different. However, don’t be surprised if they mention how they see or notice a difference in you.

Number two: No sexual activity of any kind! You will be tempted to, ahem, “take matters into your own hands”. Fight that temptation. Learn the scriptures that Tamar mentioned above. Recite them whenever you are tempted. There is an old joke that 90% of men admit to masturbating, the other 10% are liars. If you masturbate, you will be greatly tempted. One tip: Don’t think about getting through the 30 days all together, you will likely fail. Instead, get through one day at a time. If that’s too long, just get through one hour at a time. That’s how addicts beat their addictions. If they think about going the rest of their life without whatever they are addicted to (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.), they will fail almost every time. So they break it down into shorter time intervals, usually hours. That’s how I beat my addiction to chewing tobacco. I would think, “I can make it through this hour without it.” Then think the same thing the next hour.

Another tip: Remove any sexually suggestive material from your house and workplace. Any movies, pictures, magazines, etc. They don’t necessarily have to be pornographic either. Like I stated earlier, they could be something as simple as a movie with scantily clad women, or even your wife’s Cosmo magazines. I still struggle with the temptations of pornography and masturbation. Having fewer things to tempt me, made the fast much easier to get through. It also helps after the fast is over.

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