Posts Tagged With: fasting

Day 11: United

For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.  I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.  Psalm 139:13-14

So, what are you made of?  It’s an interesting comment to be sure.  But really, have you ever thought about it?  The nursery rhymes tell us: “Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of.”  Then there’s science, the human body is made up of mostly water.  But what does the bible have to say about it?  Psalm 139:13-14 says that God wove us together in our mother’s womb, creating us with His very own hands, it’s just mind-blowing.  God’s hands created each and every one of us.  HE made us.  Just like Adam and Eve God’s hands formed us.  And just like creation He stands back, watches us grow and says “it is good”.

In the Garden of Eden:

“The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.  So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.  The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”  For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:20-24)

As Adam was naming all of the animals he realized that they all had mates and he didn’t.  He noticed that each of them had someone to call their own, and yet he didn’t.  Poor Adam was lonely, he wanted someone just like him; a partner, a mate.  So God lovingly created Eve for him.  But Eve unlike everything else in creation wasn’t spoken into existence or even made from the dust of the Earth like Adam, she was made from Adam’s flesh and bone.  When you think about how we as women were first created, it explains A LOT doesn’t it!  We’re tough and soft all at the same time; we’re made from bone and flesh.  God created us from man’s rib, not his head to be above him, or his feet to be below him, but his rib to be beside him.  And under his arm to be protected by him, close to his heart, to be loved by him.5 God made everything to serve a purpose, but I believe He had a very special purpose in mind when He created women.  We were made in such a different fashion than everything else on the earth, how can we not then BE different from everything else on earth?  While nothing in all of creation could fill the position of Adam’s “helper”, woman could.  Creation wasn’t complete until Eve came along.  It’s like God kept saying “Hmmmm, something’s missing… AHA! That’s it!  Woman!”  Hee hee!  We’re the icing on the creation cake!

In a conversation on this topic, my good friend Kelly commented, “… I’m made of ivory!”  I looked at her questioningly “Ivory?” I said.  “Yup, I’m made from Adam’s bone, polished-white-beautiful-ivory.”  I think Kelly’s got it right!  We are made of ivory.  We may have a few dirty spots on us, some dents and nicks, but under it all, we’re made of polished white beautiful ivory.  And it’s nothing for God to wipe those spots off for us and fill in those dents; all we have to do is ask Him to.  He’s got the best cleaning solution known to man; it fixes everything – Christ’s blood.

Now that we know what we’re made of, let’s look and see why it’s important.  In Mark 10:2-12 Jesus is asked about divorce by:

Some Pharisees [who] came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.  And He answered and said to them.  “What did Moses command you?”  They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”  But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.  “But from the beginning of creation.  God made them male and female.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”  In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again.  And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

In this New Testament section, where Jesus himself is reminding us all that when God started creation He created them MALE and FEMALE, they were different and yet together made one whole.  I took a closer look at the words translated “and the two shall become one flesh”.  In the original Greek this word is “proskollao” which according to Strongs Exhaustive Concordance means “to be glued to, to cleave, to stick to”.  When God created Adam and Eve He never intended them to separate or divorce one another.  Notice how it states the same thing twice, adding emphasis to the fact that what used to be two separate entities, once married and united with sex, become one entity.

In Genesis 2:21 while God is forming Eve: the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. There is another place in Genesis where God causes someone else to fall into a “deep sleep”, and I KNOW that it’s not a coincidence.  In Genesis 15:9-18 God himself cut a blood covenant with Abram.  The procedure, to us is very peculiar, however as covenants go this one is filled with significance.  God instructed Abram to gather an assortment of animals for sacrifice.  Abram took the larger sacrificial animals and cut them each into half, and arranged the halves on the ground with space between them so that they could walk between them – just as the LORD had instructed.  Some birds of prey came and Abram chased them off, then the sun began to set and a deep sleep fell on Abram.  This is where God spoke to him and told him about the covenant He was making with him and his descendants.  When the sun had set God came down in the form of fire and passed between the pieces of the sacrifice; officially cutting a blood covenant with Abram and his heirs.

Now, tell me, when you cut an animal in half do you think there might be a little blood involved in the process?  Of course there was, hence the name “blood covenant”.  This type of promise was sacred to the people making the covenant.  By walking through the bloody animal halves they were promising that if they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain then they too could be cut in half!  This was a serious promise girls!  Are you ready for where this gets REALLY interesting?  When we get married we are also committing to a blood covenant between God, ourselves and our husbands.  When we cut this covenant God is joining the two souls of the bride and groom and making them one soul.  Covenants are NOT meant to be broken, ever.  They are meant to be protected, like when Abram protected the animal halves from the birds of prey.  There will be birds of prey in your life coming to devour your covenant, which is why you need to be vigilant and protect it.  And if these blood covenants are broken, there are deadly consequences involved.  THIS is why marriage is meant to be FOREVER, not just “till someone better comes along or I’m tired of you”.

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Day 4: Fast

Then Joshua said to the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do wonders among you.”  Joshua 3:5

OK, so if you’re still reading today you’ve decided to see this thing out the whole way.  You’ve decided to join us on our journey and sex fast with us.  I’m telling you, this is very powerful stuff, not for the faint of heart.  However, you WILL NOT REGRET THIS!  Christian was reluctantly compliant in our first and second sex fast (yes, believe it or not, we’ve done this more than once) and close to the end of the second fast he told me, “We should really do this again sometime”.  Taking sex out of your relationship changes it, dramatically.  I’m going to be honest with you, fasting is difficult.  You will fight, you will cry, you will be frustrated and you will be angry; and so you will pray, you will read (I suggest the Bible along with this blog), and you will seek God like never before.  This is why I wish I could be there with you, to encourage you to keep going.  You CAN survive this storm and your marriage WILL be so much better for it in the end.  “Fasting is the most sacred, most serious, most sacrificial way to present ourselves in total devotion to the Lord.  Fasting helps us relinquish our will to God.  By abstaining from food [or sex], humbling our souls, and setting worldly matters aside in an act of worship, we can please God beyond compare.”2

God cares more about our motives than our actions.  Therefore, we fast as an act of thanks for the second chance He has given us, and as atonement for the sexually immoral acts that we have committed in the past.  This is not something to take lightly my friend; you are entering into a serious commitment, one that will have a major impact on your life, a very positive one if you’re willing to do it for the right reasons.  Here are the rules of the road, they’re pretty simple and there are only two.

1) Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting.  Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.  But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.  (Matthew 6:16-18) In other words, don’t make a big deal about the fast to everyone you see.  In fact, don’t tell anyone, it’s to be done in “secret”.  We committed our sexually immoral acts in secret and God saw them; similarly redeem them in secret as well.  God will see it and reward you for it.  So far in my experience I’ve had a rule of 2 for my fasting.  Both times God has given me 2 other people to share my secret.  I have asked those people to pray for me and my husband that we may be successful in our fast, and that we will grow closer to God and each other because of it.  Other than those 2 people, to everyone else it’s business as usual, no matter what, no complaining, grumbling or twisting your face to show disapproval.  Remember, God sees what is done in secret, both the bad and the good.  Trust me, this IS worth it.

2) This fast includes ALL SEXUAL ACTIVITY OF ANY KIND.  We’re not just talking about strictly sex here.  We’re talking no sex, no touching each other (except for hugs and 10 second kisses), and no touching yourself! NOTHING FOR 30 DAYS!  It was through complete abstinence that we grew so much during that time.  Plus, in a way, it was resetting our bodies back to the “manufacturer’s settings” so to speak.  Seriously, if you do not take my word for this particular part of the fast you will not gain as much from the experience.  Trust me on this one!

To help you through this I suggest memorizing some scriptures.  They are extremely wise and really do help in those moments of weakness.  Two of my favorites for this are: 1 Corinthians 9:27 and Romans 6:14.  Both of these verses appealed to me because of the idea of being the master of my body.  There were moments of temptation, many of them.  And in those moments I could not allow my body the luxury of indulgence; I had to “beat” it instead.  I would say to myself, “No body, you are NOT in control and you will not get your way this time!”  That’s the true meaning of “SELF” control.  Your body is NOT the master of you!  You are the master of your body; do not allow your body to be the one in control!

A couple quick notes before I hand the laptop over to Christian. Wives, before day 30 arrives make sure to buy a new white bra and panties and if money isn’t too tight, a beautiful white satin nightgown.  I’ll explain more about this later, but for now, start looking for some beautiful new underwear or jammies… or BOTH!

Christian’s comments:

All right! You guys are on board, so let’s DO THIS THING! Husbands! You may not be too thrilled by this, but you just need to suck it up! Oh wait poor choice of words there. You can handle it! No, that’s not right either. It’s going to be hard, scratch that, difficult, but you will manage.  Seriously, though, you will get through this. You have to follow the rules though.

Number one: No whining, complaining, moaning, groaning, or any other form of grumbling allowed. Don’t say anything to the guys at work. No “The old lady says” comments to your buddies that you play sports with. No “Old ball and chain” remarks to the guys in the garage (if you’re a gear-head like me). Tell no one! Just live your life like nothing is different. However, don’t be surprised if they mention how they see or notice a difference in you.

Number two: No sexual activity of any kind! You will be tempted to, ahem, “take matters into your own hands”. Fight that temptation. Learn the scriptures that Tamar mentioned above. Recite them whenever you are tempted. There is an old joke that 90% of men admit to masturbating, the other 10% are liars. If you masturbate, you will be greatly tempted. One tip: Don’t think about getting through the 30 days all together, you will likely fail. Instead, get through one day at a time. If that’s too long, just get through one hour at a time. That’s how addicts beat their addictions. If they think about going the rest of their life without whatever they are addicted to (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc.), they will fail almost every time. So they break it down into shorter time intervals, usually hours. That’s how I beat my addiction to chewing tobacco. I would think, “I can make it through this hour without it.” Then think the same thing the next hour.

Another tip: Remove any sexually suggestive material from your house and workplace. Any movies, pictures, magazines, etc. They don’t necessarily have to be pornographic either. Like I stated earlier, they could be something as simple as a movie with scantily clad women, or even your wife’s Cosmo magazines. I still struggle with the temptations of pornography and masturbation. Having fewer things to tempt me, made the fast much easier to get through. It also helps after the fast is over.

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