Author Archives: Tamar

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About Tamar

Tamar Knochel at your service! From sewing and crafting to words of encouragement when you need them most. I'm here for you. ❤️

Day 2 of my Spiritual Stay-cation

Posted on December 7, 2011 by Tamar

Right now I just want to explode! Which is a big deal because I am a temperate person, I don’t get like this usually. But all the little things are bothering me. The Christmas boxes cluttering the living room, the toys scattered throughout the house on the floor so I can’t even walk five feet without having to step over something. The dishes piled high in the sink and overflowing onto the counter and even onto the kitchen table! The laundry baskets brimming with dirty clothes (didn’t I just finish the laundry??? Oh, wait, that was last week, siiiigh…..) The two-dozen eggs I somehow left at the store that they didn’t find, the receipt from the store proving I bought two-dozen eggs that I can’t find (probably in the bag with the eggs)! The check for a copy of Dandelion Season that seems to have evaporated into thin air! Notes from the teacher on how Gabe should’ve had his sevens memorized by now “what’s wrong?” in other words, “Mom, I don’t think you’re doing your job…” (Ok, maybe that’s not what she meant, but it’s certainly how I’m taking it today!) Arg!

“Yes Lord, I do need a break, You are very right. I fought you on taking this “Spiritual Stay-cation” but I need to learn how to let these things go. I need to learn how to let Your grace be sufficient for me. But Lord, what if I don’t want that? What if I want to be self-sufficient? What if I want to do this all myself, You know, be independent. What happens then? Because this whole leaning-on-You thing and feeling like I keep running into brick walls, I don’t like it. I’m frustrated and tired and confused – I may have even gotten a concussion on that last wall I ran into. It didn’t move.”

“Well Little One, you are not alone in this desire for independence that’s for sure! Just look at Adam and Eve for example. They wanted to do things they’re way too. When they ate that fruit they did so much more than disobey a rule – My one and only rule. They decided to take matters into their own hands. They chose to stop leaning on Me and trusting Me to take care of them and instead take care of themselves. The only problem with that is that they can’t That has been the whole point of most of history, proving to you that you need Me.”

“But Lord, I know that already. I know I need You…”

“Ah, but you’re not living like you do. When you know you need me then you’re constantly reaching out for Me, searching for Me, you’re not doing that at all. You’re walking like you know what I want you to do but you’ve never really spent any time asking Me what My will is. You haven’t spent any time searching My Word for answers to your burning questions, you just assume an answer to them or let them continue burning in your mind, frustrating you. Use some Living Water to put out those un-needed fires girl! Yes I want you to be on fire, but for the right reasons! I want you to be on fire for Me. For My love, for My goodness. If you’re doing things on your own and expecting things to happen in your way and your timing then you’re not trusting in Me but in yourself. You’re just asking Me to place My stamp of approval and blessing on something YOU did. Why would I do that when I want everything to call attention to what I did, for you and everyone else.”

“Lord, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. Father, please forgive me. Please help me to trust You and Your strength and not in my own. Please help me to actually seek You first in everything I do and not just pretend to.”

“My love, I know that there are times in your life, like right now, where it doesn’t seem to you like I’m doing anything. But in reality I am. When you are in the grocery store with your children and you stop the cart to read a label or compare prices; to your children it seems like you’re just standing there, but you’re not are you? You’re reading, you’re studying to see if the product is worth the cost. You’re comparing one product with another to see which one will be the best product for your family. The healthiest product for the lowest cost. Well, that’s what I’m doing too. At no point in your life am I sleeping or unaware of your situation. At no point in our journey through time together have I stopped nor am I doing nothing. In fact nothing could be farther from the truth. When you’re shopping at what point are you truly more active? When your feet are moving you toward the next thing on the list or when you are making that next best choice for your family? And compare that to what your children are doing while they are waiting for you to move. They’re wandering farther and farther away from the cart. They’re touching things on the shelves, they’re getting in other people’s way, they’re grabbing things and putting them into the cart without asking first. In other words they get bored and into trouble. When you’re waiting for Me to move are you like that? Do you wander aimlessly, touching things you shouldn’t? When it’s time to move on to the next thing on your list what do you do? Do you call out to your children, gathering them together so that you can move on together as a family? Of course you do! Please realize that at no point will I ever truly leave you behind. Just like you may threaten to leave your child in the store because they’re not following you closely enough, I too do the same thing. There are moments/seasons in your life where it seems like you’re not going anywhere or doing anything and then you hear my call and you’re having to run to keep up with Me. Just like you would never dream of ACTUALLY leaving your child in the store, you ARE however serious about moving on and so am I. When I say it’s time to move on, it’s time to move on, so you’d better be movin’ it girl!”

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Tomorrow

Posted on December 6, 2011 by Tamar

So now what? I’ve taken an entire day off. I’ve rested physically by sitting and reading and NOT working. I’ve rested spiritually by spending quiet time in the pool of Living Water that just happens to fill my Bible and my bookshelves in the multitude of Christian books I’ve collected and I’ve rested emotionally by spending time with my husband and my kids, the way they make me laugh always fills me up. But now I’m back to Monday and facing what feels like a tidal wave of work to do. How do I deal with this? Lord, How do I keep from losing my newly found peaceful sanity on the first day?

Well, two short chapters before the Ten Commandments were passed down, Moses was dealing with this same problem. He had an entire nation of people all looking to him to solve their quarrels. To be their judge and to be their intercessor to God. Moses’ father-in-law noticed the problem immediately and said to Moses “What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning til evening?” (Exodus 18:14)

Why is it that as moms we alone stand as the “do-er” in our homes? Is your home like mine was? I was breaking my back and my spirit trying to do everything all by myself, and I still catch myself doing it to this day! My kids had no chores, my husband went to work, but came home and did zero around the house. I did nearly EVERYTHING for my family while they “stood around” and did NOTHING! TV was their best friend. It took several years of frustration and tears and trying to do it all myself and not succeeding to finally help me realize I am not able to do this all myself! Even more, I was never created to do it all by myself! God has NEVER expected that from me or anyone else for that matter! So who am I to expect it from myself? I mean really? Please!

Exodus 18:17 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. 19 Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. 20 Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. 21 But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. 22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. 23 If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.”

Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law had it right! Delegation is the way to go! Doing it all yourself wears out everyone, not just you! Cause if Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy! And I have been that Mama! Just this weekend in fact! I was sitting in the umpteenth restaurant for the weekend, attempting to have a conversation with my brother (whom I never get to see) over my son’s head. Which wasn’t too big of a deal until he started holding his balloon above his head trying to balance it there. So  now I had to not only yell over the din of the restaurant noise but I also had to keep moving back and forth to make eye contact with the person I was yelling down the table to. I was tired from ballet recital week, trying to run a household and a ministry all at the same time and the stress of trying to do it all myself caught up to me and I snapped right in front of God and everyone. Thankfully I didn’t yell at my son like I wanted to. God is gracious and kept me from hurting him in that way. But I did angrily snatch the balloon from his hands and put it behind me. My family was shocked! They’ve never seen me react to any child that way. Probably because it’s so rare of a reaction that it shocked me just as much as it did them! Immediately I was desperate to get alone, get away, get sane. But I couldn’t, there was nowhere to go. I was in a crowded restaurant in a busy town. How do you find peaceful solitude in a place like that?

In that morning’s devotional it talked about how Jesus would spend His day surrounded by the masses but in the evenings and early mornings He would retreat alone to the hills whenever possible to pray and be with the Father. I suddenly understood why! Because He was EXHAUSTED! It’s one thing to be physically exhausted, but if you’re spiritually exhausted… there’s no pushing through it! There’s no moving on until you’ve rested in the LORD in prayer. I didn’t know this until this weekend. And I didn’t really understand it until right now. Yes, I was physically exhausted, but I snapped because I was spiritually exhausted. I was done dealing with the masses and the chaos and all their pain. I couldn’t respond to their needs because mine had become so overwhelming. My own pile of needs got so high that I couldn’t see over it to be able to see what anyone else needed. Or maybe it was that I had taken on so many other people’s burdens and responsibilities for them. I had gone so long without passing those burdens on to God and asking Him if I even should continue carrying them, that my arms were so full I just couldn’t carry anything else… including a conversation with my brother. My mom’s concerned “Are you OK?” got answered with an exhausted “I’m tired” sigh, but I didn’t realize why I was so tired.

I took the first opportunity I could to retreat to the restroom where I found solace in a stall only big enough for ONE! ME! Alone. There were other people in the room but none of them could see me and that, at least in some small measure, helped. I took as long as I could – without drawing even more worried suspicion from my already concerned family – to pray and just BE with God for that briefest of moments. I came out able to finish the rest of the evening we’d planned with as much composure as I could muster. But it wasn’t much I have to admit.

I am resolving to do my best to get  back onto the schedule that God keeps giving me every time I’m frustrated – pray and write and sing daily, no matter what! It’s just what keeps me healthy, wealthy and wise. Staying grounded, rooted in His Word, it’s the only thing that works for me. That and remembering to delegate! My children are four, nine and thirty-five they’re fully capable of pulling their own weight and putting away the dishes and cleaning their own rooms! Hmmmmm….. I just got a new rule from the LORD for my family and I like it!!! The TV is not allowed to come on unless ALL the chores (including Daddy’s) are finished! We ALL work together so that we can all rest together too! We’re a team at the Knochel house, and there’s no “I” in team now is there??? Looks like “I” won’t be doing all the work by myself anymore! :)

God bless you in your own efforts to find ways to manage your home without doing it all yourself!

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EXHAUSTED!

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Tamar

I, Daniel, was exhausted and lay ill for several days. Then I got up and went about the king’s business. I was appalled by the vision; it was beyond understanding. Daniel 8:21

Thank You Lord! Someone who understands!!! I too am EXHAUSTED. I have been quite successfully burning my life like a taper candle lit from both ends. I have been moving and working and living non-stop for as long as I can remember! As a mom there is no end in sight to the “To Do” list we keep in our heads, it just keeps growing and truly never ends! As mothers we give and give and give until there’s simply nothing left to give of ourselves and yet somehow we still find ways to keep giving. Lately we’ve been so busy I have had no time to cook, so we’ve been eating a lot of fast food lately. My husband has been commenting about how he’s missing homemade food. And I keep replying “Me too!” Too bad no one is willing to come to my house, cook a nice big dinner for us (so that it’s my house that smells yummy), will serve us at our table and clean everything up afterward! I don’t know that such angels exist, but LORD, if You’d like to send one my way about now I’d really appreciate it! And while You’re at it someone to clean my house from top to bottom and manage my family too… You know, Daniel took “several days” off from work because he was ill from the tremendous vision You had given him. Can I call in sick to life for a few days too?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life. I love the ups and downs of the rollercoaster I live on. But as the ups are way up there, the downs are way down there too! And ever so close together. I realized a few days ago that I don’t have a Sabbath day. I don’t have an official day where I truly do nothing all day. I’ve been living under the very Christian (as opposed to legalistic Jewish) philosophy of a break here and a break there equal a Sabbath rest and that’s OK too. But I’m living the reality that this philosophy doesn’t work! Period! Because you know what happens? You start out fine and you take your “break” every day – however long it may be. But then life creeps in, something happens and one day your break gets preempted by an emergency of some kind, say the cat throws up on your favorite rug or your child is sick. So you skip your break that day. And then a few days later something else happens during your break time. And then before you know it a month has gone by since you even thought about taking a break let alone actually took one! And you think to yourself, “Hmmmmm….. maybe that’s why I’ve been so tired lately.”

Are you like me? Are you able to relate at all to what I’m saying? Honestly, part of me wants you to say “Yes” just so I can have some company in my misery and yet the other part of me wants you to say “No” so that I can ask you what you’ve done to make that answer even possible! Cause right now, in this moment of absolute exhaustion, I could really use some helpful everyday tips!

Siiiiiigh….. I digress, and distress… it looks like this may be just the reason that one of the Ten Commandments is “Remember the Sabbath DAY by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or your maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but He rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” (Exodus 20:8-11)

God commands an entire day out of every week to be holy – or set aside – for REST. ZERO work allowed. PERIOD. In fact, I was just noticing that of all the Ten Commandments, keeping the Sabbath DAY holy uses more ink than any of the other nine commandments. The only commandment that even comes close is not making idols for yourselves. Which I find interesting because when you think about it, by expecting yourself to perform all seven days of the week instead of six, you’re expecting more from yourself than God even does! Even HE took an entire day off (Genesis 1:31-2:3), and it’s not like He actually needed it! HE’S GOD! So who do we think we are to not need that day of rest? God? HA! Yeah right! That, in a way, is declaring ourselves gods, which is idolatry! YIKES! Father, please forgive me! No wonder I’m exhausted! I’m trying to be God! Geez!

Ha, you know, in a really strange way, that takes a load off my shoulders to know that I’m not God. Huh! I had no idea that’s what I was doing! Sabbath day HERE I COME!!! Are you kidding me?!? Where have you been all my life? I’m jumpin’ into my jammies, throwing in a frozen pizza for dinner, serving it on paper plates, curling up on the couch with a good book and a blanket!!! I’ll see you tomorrow folks!

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One Seed

Posted on December 2, 2011 by Tamar

Last night I had an opportunity, one I pray no one EVER passes up.

I was going into a public restroom after Anna’s dance recital and saw Mackenzie, the daughter of one of our Tamar Ministries Sisters. So I greeted her warmly and continued ahead into the stall. “Oh, HI Miss Tyra!” she said with a big smile that I could hear through the door. Immediately my Spirit perked up and said “You really need to explain to her about your new name. She’ll understand.” Then I thought about the verse in 1 Corinthians 2 where Paul talks about laying aside the grace in his tongue and knowing nothing but Jesus and Him crucified. Little did I know that that’s precisely what I was about to do! When I came out Mackenzie was still in the restroom drying her hands under the dryers so I said “Hey Mackenzie, can you do me a favor? Can you call me Tamar now? God gave me a new name and it’s Tamar.” Because of the noise of the dryers she kept asking me to repeat myself… over and over. And just as they stopped and I was saying “God gave me a new name” for the umpteenth time, her little friend Dylan walked back into the room because she had forgotten her coat. She looked at me wide-eyed and asked “You believe in God?”

I emphatically answered “Yup! Sure do!”

“Why do you believe in God?” Dylan asked.

“Because I can’t not believe, He loves me too much.” (Now I have to interrupt myself here for a minute to explain to you that NONE of this conversation had been thought out on my part. I can 100% honestly tell you that when I walked into the restroom the Holy Spirit took over the entire thing. Every word from my mouth was completely from Him. My answers to her questions were not my own, there was zero thinking about them involved, they just came out on their own. Straight from Him.)

“Well, we believe in the Big Bang.” said Dylan.

“Oh” I said, as if to mean “OK”.

“Do you know about the Big Bang?” Dylan asked as we started walking out of the restroom and toward the girls’ mothers.

I nodded my head, “Uh huh”

“We believe that the Big Bang created us.”

“Mmmmmm… well we” I put my arm around my friend Mackenzie, “believe that God made the Big Bang.”

At this point the conversation between Dylan and myself ended as I joined the mother’s conversation, but the two girls continued talking between themselves. Now, I have no idea what was said between the two of them but the look on Mackenzie’s face was an interesting one to be sure. Kelly, Mackenzie’s mom, asked her what was wrong and neither girl said anything to her. And then Dylan’s mom started walking toward the door to leave for the night. Kelly turned and looked at me with one eyebrow sky-high, “WHAT was that all about???” Now, I don’t know what my own face looked like at that moment, but it had to have been beaming! I was about to explode with excitement! I’ve never gotten to do that before!

I’ve heard that it takes an average of twenty-five “God-touches” in a person’s life to save them, and I had just gotten to be one of those!!! All because I didn’t question the Spirit when He prompted me to ask Mackenzie to call me Tamar.

What could be really mind-blowing is what the fruit of that one tiny seed may turn out to be! One tiny apple seed, when planted and well-tended, will grow into an apple tree filled with bushels and bushels of apples filled with more seeds of their own!

Lord Jesus, Creator of heaven and earth, gardener extraordinaire, please tend that tiny seed well. I pray that it fell on fertile soil (which judging by the pure curiosity in her eyes it did) and not the rocky path. I pray that You Holy Spirit will guard her heart and her mind in Christ Jesus and keep the weeds from choking the life from it or the birds of the air from snatching it up! Lord, I pray that this little seed grow and take root in her heart that You love HER because You created HER in her mother’s womb. Father, I thank You for providing this opportunity of response ability by giving me the ability to respond when the opportunity arose. And I ask that You will always bless me with an open mouth when it comes to opportunities like these!!! Because I know that we can always choose not to take them, so I pray that I don’t ever  make the choice to pass the opportunity up.

AMEN!

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True Success

Posted on December 1, 2011 by Tamar

My son is anxious right now. He has a test tomorrow in Math that he is just dreading. It’s a time test on multiplying sevens. Blech! Now, you need to know that this little man is in the gifted program for both math AND reading so it’s not like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, because he does! And if you quiz him on his sevens facts orally, he does a great job. Hand him a piece of paper and a pen and do the same thing, again does a great job. Start a timer, anxiety shoots through the roof and EVERYTHING suddenly flies out the window! The poor kid, truly is anxious about nothing… but not in the good way.

As a parent, this has been absolutely infuriating to me. I tell ya, this year has been a serious learning experience for me as it has been for him. Maybe because it’s bringing hard memories back to me from my childhood of sitting with my mom for what seemed like HOURS going over flash cards to practice for my own dreaded time tests. I loathed those flash cards. But whatever the reason, it has certainly made me question God on what exactly He’s trying to teach us all through this time testing period. I’ve figured out that it’s something that He tried teaching me when I was younger and doing time tests and it’s something that He’s trying to teach Gabe and I both together now.

You see, we all have a very high ability to succeed easily in what we’re good at. So when we struggle with something, it automatically frustrates us. The more we struggle, the more frustrated we get, the less we succeed (because we’re frustrated) until we just give up and stop trying all together. Obviously this is NOT the ideal outcome for us, with math facts or anything else in life. Since Gabe started Kindergarten, we have stressed that as long as he is doing his best and trying hard we are happy. I had come across a study where they tested two groups of students. One group was only praised for their achievement and success while the other group was only praised for their efforts toward success. After several months of this the testers noticed that in the group that was praised for success, when they were presented with an opportunity to choose to do something harder than their own ability, or to do an activity that was under their ability level, they would almost always choose the activity under their ability level… because they knew they would succeed and receive praise for their success. However, the group that was praised for their efforts, almost one hundred percent of the time would choose the more difficult option. Why? Because they knew that as long as they tried their hardest they would receive praise. They pushed THEMSELVES harder to succeed, they didn’t need their teachers or parents to do it for them. They also, consequently received better marks because they weren’t giving up as often either.

This is the strategy our children have been raised with. We expect the BEST performance from them and they most generally meet those expectations. However, if they are not able to achieve those expectations immediately, because let’s face it no one is perfect, the last thing we do is tell them we’re disappointed or upset with them. Because we know what the result from that becomes. Discouragement and true failure, giving up.

The truth is, Gabe cares more about how he succeeds than any of us do, because it’s HIS success! He’s always wanted to get straight A’s and be the best, and honestly deep down, who doesn’t want to be the best or do their best in something? This is the first time in all his schooling that he has ever really struggled with achieving the success he desires and expects from himself. And by golly I am going to do everything in my power, from prayer to practice, to make sure that he doesn’t give up! Success doesn’t matter, only BEST EFFORT. However, I have found that my own best efforts generally produce success on their own. Not always of course, but usually.

A message from God to me about my own performance in life (which I too have been struggling and frustrated with lately), and I believe we all could hear this message! “What I am asking is that you maintain your high achievement expectations (which I fully support and applaud you for!), but that you no longer call attention to your own lack of success in your own eyes. You have the ability to completely crush your own morale and cause yourself to give up altogether. Trust Me. I know that you want nothing more than to please Me, your Beloved teacher. I ask that you please be mindful of the words that you use with yourself concerning your test results. Words can be like bricks, you can throw them and maim or you can lay them down carefully and build with them. All we can ask and expect of you is to do your best. And then let ME do the rest… and I will. I always do!”

And you know, He DOES! Just look at the paralyzed man on the mat in Matthew 9!

1 Jesus stepped into a boat, crossed over and came to his own town. 2Some men brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.”  3 At this, some of the teachers of the law said to themselves, “This fellow is blaspheming!”  4 Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, “Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? 5 Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? 6 But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “Get up, take your mat and go home.” 7 Then the man got up and went home. 8 When the crowd saw this, they were filled with awe; and they praised God, who had given such authority to man.

Jesus asked that poor man to do the ONE thing he absolutely could not do! I mean you have to wonder if the thought crossed his mind, “Ummmm, Jesus, that’s why my friends brought me here, because I CAN’T walk, I’m paralyzed remember.” But in spite of that very glaringly obvious fact, he still got up and walked! He put forth what little effort he could, and then Jesus did all the rest! And the man got up and went home. I read a church sign the other day that was perfect for this illustration. “Failure isn’t falling down, it’s not getting back up again.” True failure isn’t falling, true failure isn’t getting an “F” on a test, true failure isn’t missing the goal, true failure is not putting forth your best effort to move towards that goal. And if that’s really the God’s honest truth, which is what I ALWAYS strive to bring you, then true success is putting forth your best effort irregardless of the end result that it brings.

OH HALLELUJAH!!!! PRAISE THE LORD! We don’t have to  BE perfect!!!!! We just have to keep striving for the expectation of perfection in love through Christ.

Fun fact, check this out:

Matthew 17:20 “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Now tell me this, if faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains, and make NOTHING impossible for us… and love is GREATER than faith… WHAT can love do?????

Love can make our best efforts equal success. Love can make our darkness into light. Love can change hearts and minds and attitudes. Love can make us patient, when we’re not. Love can make us humble, when we’re not. Love can lift us up when all we want is to stay down. Love can, when we can’t. Hallelujah! Can I get an AMEN!?!

Want to praise about this one? I do! Francesca Battistelli wrote “Free to be Me” after she backed into a lawyers car in a parking lot.

It helped me realize that although we’ve got a couple dents in our fenders, a couple rips in our jeans. We’re still trying to fit the pieces together, and PERFECTION IS OUR ENEMY. Because on our own we’re so clumsy, but on HIS shoulders, we’re FREE TO BE WHO WE ARE! We’re free to be who HE made us to be, imperfect beings in a now imperfect world trying to do the best we can with what we’ve got until we get to go home.

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Cleft of the Rock

Posted on November 27, 2011 by Tamar

My grandmother was a wonderful God-fearing woman, I miss her. Many times when my first child was an infant my mom would tell me about my grandmother (her mother-in-law). They didn’t always see eye-to-eye on things, Oreo cookies right before sending us home… you know, those kinds of things. But there was one story my mom tells on my grandmother that is really a lesson for the ages, and God is reminding me of it today.

Often times when my brother and I were young we would visit our grandparents who lived only a few short miles away from us. And when my mom would accompany us, she would try to take care of us while we were at Grandmother’s house, frustrating both Grandmother and Mom in the process because they were both trying to take care of us. Until one day Grandmother explained to my Mom “When you are at my house, you leave the children to me. I can handle them, I’ve done this before, you go take a break.” By them both trying to accomplish the same task they ended up getting in each other’s way. Not to mention Grandmother knew that moms NEED the occasional break!

Fast forward to my last and favorite memory of my grandmother. My son was about ten weeks old and we had called all his grandparents and great grandparents together to take four generation pictures. At that point all my son’s parents, grandparents, and great grandparents were still married to their original spouses and still alive, that doesn’t usually happen very often so we deemed it photo shoot worthy. Anyway, the day after the photo shoot we had planned on Grandmother and Grandfather coming over to our house to see all the antiques in the one-hundred year old house that we were renting. That morning Gabe was the fussiest baby! He had never been that grumpy before or since. There was nothing I could do to please him, and I had tried EVERYTHING! By the time my grandparents showed up I was frazzled and tired and grumpy myself. In walks Grandmother, she saw the screaming baby and the look in my eye, asked “what’s wrong” and I verbally puked all over her telling her how the morning had gone. She looked at me and said “Tamar, let me hold him and you go take care of yourself. Go in the kitchen and make yourself something hot to eat. I will take care of him.”

“But Grandmother,” I began to protest, “you came to see the antiques, I can do this, really, its OK.”

“Tamar, give me the baby.” And I resigned my son to her care. The MOMENT he touched her arms he stopped crying! As a new mother of two months, I was amazed! Almost convinced of a supernatural power coming over my son as she touched him, and who knows, maybe it was – or a supernatural power leaving him as her light touched his little body. But either way, something happened. Yes, as a now experienced mother I realize that my stress had been most likely the cause of his distress, but then again, that’s just the point. As I made my way back into the kitchen to make myself something hot to eat as commanded by the higher authority of my grandmother I listened to the two of them cooing at each other and her singing, totally in grandma heaven. And we all thought she came to see the antiques! Ha! Hardly. A mere month later she had gone home to be with the Lord. She died from a blood clot that caused a stroke, the only photo in her hospital room was one of my little Gabriel.

About a year later God inspired my husband and I to move from our little Indiana hometown surrounded by farmland to the Chicago-land area so that my husband could go back to school to change careers and be a mechanic. For two years he went to school and worked part-time while I worked in daycare as a pre-school teacher. At the end of his schooling it came time for him to find a job, and we both were praying for one in Indianapolis where we would still be close to family. It came down to the last two weeks of school and he still didn’t have job lined up! Rent was due soon and we had NO idea if we would be staying another month or leaving for Indy. The best and only way I can explain that time in our life was dark. Everything was up in the air and totally unknown. We were totally between that rock and a hard place. The time was drawing nearer and nearer to take that next step. One we were more than willing to take… if we just knew WHERE we were supposed to step! Sure we had both been feeling led to go to Indy, but what if that wasn’t what God wanted for us? What if He wanted us in California or New York? We had no idea, and it was terrifying. We were being pressed to take this next step, but it was going to have to be a leap of faith like never before, and it was seriously stressing me out.

At that time I had, by far, the best assistant director I’ve ever had in any job either before or since! A woman with one of the most beautiful hearts I’ve ever seen. One day during this trial of uncertainty and fear the Spirit led her to come down to my room to visit me during breakfast. (Now, I can probably count on one hand how many times she had done that while I worked there, and still have some fingers left over.) She walked in my room and totally took over control. And I have to admit I was offended by her “intrusion” into MY classroom. I said something to her to the effect of “Oh, that’s not how we do that in here…” and she turned to the assistant teacher and asked her to watch the kids while she and I went to have a talk.

Oh boy!

She pulled me into the neighboring kitchen and said to me, “Tamar, when the Master is in the house, you are not to be in control, He is. You just sit back and relax and take care of yourself, and let Him do the rest. When I’m in your room, you’re not in charge anymore. You let me take over so you can take a much-needed break.” Well, right then and there standing next to a white chest freezer full of frozen waffles and orange juice concentrate I let go of my control and started sobbing with relief. She wrapped me in her little arms and I poured the story out on her of what was going on and how it all just felt so dark, How we didn’t know what to do and it was so scary. And how the words that God had just put in her mouth were almost identical to the words He had put in Grandmother’s mouth a few years before. How their familiarity had touched me, taught me and reminded me of Grandmother all at the same time.

Today, God has pulled all these stories back up in my memory. There’s a change in the wind for our family. It’s looming and obvious and yet elusive at the same time. We’ve been avoiding it and yet it has still come upon us all the same. It’s time for us to take another leap of faith into the darkness expecting God to be there to catch us when we jump. We are in His house with a screaming baby totally stressed out over our life situation and we keep saying “What do I do?” and He’s looking us in the eye saying “Beloved, hand over the dream, let Me take care of it, and you go fix yourself something hot to eat, take a break and let Me handle things for a while, because I love you and I want this just as much as you do. More so actually, but we can’t both be working on the same thing because right now you’re getting in my way. So just sit back (be still), take a break over there out-of-the-way, and watch what I, the Master, can do (know that I AM GOD. Psalm 46:10)

Exodus 33:12-23:

12 Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ 13If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”

 14 The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

 15 Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

 17 And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”

 18 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

 19 And the LORD said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. 20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”

 21 Then the LORD said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. 22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”

Does it feel like you’re between a rock and a hard place? Perhaps God has placed you there so that He can cover you with His hand and protect you from His glory passing by in your current circumstance of life. Realize that in those “rock and a hard place” moments, if you COULD see what God was doing, it would kill you because of its pure awesomeness. That uncertainty and darkness you feel is keeping you alive, it’s protecting you. Don’t fear it and don’t fight it.

Psalm 22

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
   Why are you so far from saving me,
   so far from my cries of anguish?
2 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
   by night, but I find no rest.

 3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
   you are the one Israel praises.
4 In you our ancestors put their trust;
   they trusted and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried out and were saved;
   in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

 6 But I am a worm and not a man,
   scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
7 All who see me mock me;
   they hurl insults, shaking their heads.
8 “He trusts in the LORD,” they say,
   “let the LORD rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
   since he delights in him.”

 9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
   you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.
10 From birth I was cast on you;
   from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

 11 Do not be far from me,
   for trouble is near
   and there is no one to help.

 12 Many bulls surround me;
   strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.
13 Roaring lions that tear their prey
   open their mouths wide against me.
14 I am poured out like water,
   and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
   it has melted within me.
15 My mouth is dried up like a potsherd,
   and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
   you lay me in the dust of death.

 16 Dogs surround me,
   a pack of villains encircles me;
   they pierce my hands and my feet.
17 All my bones are on display;
   people stare and gloat over me.
18 They divide my clothes among them
   and cast lots for my garment.

 19 But you, LORD, do not be far from me.
   You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
20 Deliver me from the sword,
   my precious life from the power of the dogs.
21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
   save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

 22 I will declare your name to my people;
   in the assembly I will praise you.
23 You who fear the LORD, praise him!
   All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
   Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!
24 For he has not despised or scorned
   the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
   but has listened to his cry for help.

 25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
   before those who fear you I will fulfill my vows.
26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
   those who seek the LORD will praise him—
   may your hearts live forever!

 27 All the ends of the earth
   will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
   will bow down before him,
28 for dominion belongs to the LORD
   and he rules over the nations.

 29 All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
   all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
   those who cannot keep themselves alive.
30 Posterity will serve him;
   future generations will be told about the Lord.
31 They will proclaim his righteousness,
   declaring to a people yet unborn:
   He has done it!

Can you relate to how David feels; scorned by men, mocked and insulted? Are you being tempted to doubt your trusting in the LORD? Do you feel surrounded on all sides with a melting heart and a dry mouth? Are you spiritually starving and naked? Cry out to Yaweh! Cry out for deliverance, praise Him in the streets and on Facebook. Call the people around you to join in your praises of our God Almighty, because “He has NOT despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from Him but has listened to His cry for help”. (v. 24) God will save you! How?

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 5 You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

He MAKES me lie down. He comes in and says “hand over the baby” so that you can REST, recover, de-stress, PRAISE! We walk through the valley of the shadow of death every day but fear no evil! For He IS with you – especially when it doesn’t feel like He is. His goodness, the very same goodness that passed by Moses (and you) in the cleft of the rock, will follow you all the days of your life until you go home to LIVE in Grandmother’s house where you just get in the way when you’re trying to control things.

Pray Psalm 143:

1 LORD, hear my prayer,
   listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
   come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
   for no one living is righteous before you.
3 The enemy pursues me,
   he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
   like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
   my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago;
   I meditate on all your works
   and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
   I thirst for you like a parched land.

 7 Answer me quickly, LORD;
   my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
   or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
   for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
   for to you I entrust my life.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
   for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
   for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
   lead me on level ground.

 11 For your name’s sake, LORD, preserve my life;
   in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
   destroy all my foes,
   for I am your servant.

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Trust the Truth

Posted on November 26, 2011 by Tamar

Some people like to think that Jesus was just a good teacher, maybe even a prophet, but not God or the Messiah. There’s a problem with that thought process though, the things that He taught and claimed about Himself weren’t on that same level. He was either absolutely and completely insane or He was Satan himself or He was actually telling the truth and is who He actually says He is. In fact many people accused Him of being demonic (in Matthew 12:22-37) but their accusations were silenced when he pointed out the error in their thinking. If Jesus is demonic then He wouldn’t be commanding the demons OUT of people but rather IN to them!

In Mark’s retelling of this same story of the teachers of the law thinking Jesus was “possessed by Beelzebub! By the prince of demons He is driving out demons.” (3:22) Mark includes a little “behind the scenes” info for us. Before this fateful conversation with the teachers of the law, Jesus’ family came to “take charge of Him, for they said, He is out of His mind.'” (Mark 3:21) Again in John 10:20-21 “many of them said, ‘He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to Him?’ But others said, ‘These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”

Would a demon open the eyes of the blind? I don’t think so. Considering that the goal of Satan is to keep as many people as possible spiritually blind, wandering around in complete and total darkness, unable to find God, it makes VERY little sense that Satan would even CONSIDER opening those closed minds and eyes. And since that is the most obvious conclusion I feel it is fairly safe to assume that Jesus was neither insane nor demonic which leaves but one logical conclusion, He is completely sane, telling and teaching the truth and therefore is who He claims to be! Sometimes the truth sounds the most insane because it is the truth. So seldom do we encounter pure unadulterated truth that it automatically resounds in our brains as a foreign invader and thusly insane because it is simply that radically different. Just like when someone donates a kidney to a friend. Even if they’re a perfect match the friend still has to take anti-rejection drugs to keep her body from rejecting the gift she has been given, we too need to take our own anti-rejection medicine in order to accept and keep God’s gift of salvation.

TRUST. Sometimes you just have to trust, even when nothing around you makes sense. Maybe none of it is making sense because it’s really the truth that has been injected into an environment that is simply unfamiliar with the truth. New truth, well, new-to-you truth can be hard to accept. But that doesn’t make it any less the truth, it just makes it less yours. You see, we can possess the truth and the Truth can possess us. Or a falsehood can possess us, as we continue to hold onto it because of its familiarity. But just because it’s our belief that we’re holding onto doesn’t make it any less false, it just makes it ours.

When we encounter a treasure in our path, if our hands are full of trash we’re unable to pick up the treasure. We come to a moment of decision 1) keep the trash and leave the treasure or 2) reject the trash and pick up the treasure.

Matthew tells us that “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”(13:44-46)In these two stories we meet two men who discover great treasure and are willing to give up everything they own in order to possess that tremendous treasure. At first glance it seems as though both stories are the same message told in two different manners. However, if you look closely at the grammar and the structure of the like statements you will find a subtle difference. In the first story the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. The kingdom of God and all its wisdom, power and truth are a priceless treasure worth our life-savings to acquire. (And I speak from personal experience and tell you that it is.) But look at the second like-statement in the second story! The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. In this story the kingdom isn’t the treasure, the kingdom is the one searching for the treasure! Now if God is the one searching for the pearl of great value, then what pray-tell, IS the pearl of great value? Now, I want you to think for a moment, what is the one thing in all of creation that God the Creator does not already possess? Keep in mind that He is GOD, EVERYTHING is His. Except, perhaps, for you. You my friend are that pearl of great value. You are the one that Jesus Himself is willing to set EVERYTHING aside for. EVERYTHING. All His power, all His majesty, all His life; He laid it ALL down at the foot of the cross like trash to pick up the treasure – YOU.

Don’t let the falsehood keep it’s hold on you any longer. Let go of the belief that Jesus was less than what He said He was, that He can’t do everything that He says He can. Because He is, He can and He will… but never without your permission. He is a gentleman after all.

So, how can we apply all this information to our marriages? By remembering that WE are a pearl of great value, worth selling everything else for. If you need help remembering, buy yourself some pearl jewelry and wear it! Then every time life throws you a dirty look, a sneer or snide remark you can look at your pearl – or touch them on your neck and say to yourself “I am worth dying for.” Then just smile back and say “God bless you!” as if they had only sneezed at you and nothing more.

When we place our trust and value in the hands of God it’s out of reach of the things of this world. They can’t touch them. If you feel like your husband isn’t valuing you like the pearl of great value – it doesn’t matter, because your worth doesn’t lie in his hands, but in God’s. However, you can’t just lie down and let your husband walk all over you like a door mat either. Stand up for yourself in prayer. Tell God how your husband is treating you and how you feel about it. Remember, it is not your job or place to change your husband, only God can change hearts. But it IS your job to PRAY FOR HIM!

So often we don’t feel like we’re doing anything when we pray. But nothing could be farther from the truth! I believe that if we could catch just a glimpse of what our prayers activate in the unseen spiritual realm we would never get up off our knees! Why else was that the one thing that ALL the gospel writers mentioned in their letters? If they went without food or water or clothes, or if they were in jail or shipwrecked they could manage, but go without being covered in the prayers of others? NEVER! Prayer IS doing something, it’s doing MORE than you could even imagine. Never stop praying for your husband, not ever!

When Jesus walked this dirtball, He was constantly under pressure and ridicule; even His family thought He was crazy at one point. They failed to believe in Him, failed to believe that He was telling the truth, failed to remember who the angel told them – before His birth – who He would be! Take a moment to do a mental inventory, have you been believing in your husband? Or have you joined in on the ridiculing and doubt? As his wife he needs for you to be his “safe person”. The one who he can always trust to be in his corner when things get rough and the Enemy starts to attack. He needs to know that no matter what is happening in his life you WILL be there to cheer him on and help him up. Can your husband count on you to be that person? Is he that person for you? He should be.

Do you doubt your husband’s ability to perform any of these tasks? Take those doubts to the cross. Ask God to take care of them, His ear is not too dull to hear nor is His arm to short to save. He is MORE than able to help you and your husband achieve greatness in your marriage. God is able to do abundantly more than all you can ask or imagine! So start imagining and asking for that great marriage you dream of, and then let God work His miracles. He is able and He is willing, you need only to ask, believe and then wait patiently on the LORD.

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Heart Hug

Posted on November 25, 2011 by Tamar

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

How does GOD want us to worship Him? What is worship that is pleasing to God? These are the questions I left church with on Sunday morning. We’ve had a lot of changes in our church over the last few weeks, with no sign of the changes stopping any time soon either. One of the many changes has been the style of music that we worship with. This change has caused a HUGE disruption amongst the members of my Sunday school class. Many of them have started “double church”ing, as they call it. Where they’re attending Sunday school at our church and then going to a different church to worship. We ended our class this week discussing the things that WE thought our worship service should include, the things we wanted… And as I climbed into our car to leave after service the Holy Spirit knocked on the door of my heart and whispered “What about what I want? What about how I want you to worship on Sunday and every other day?”

I came home that afternoon and pulled out my books, filled with questions about how GOD wants us to worship I started by opening up my Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament words and found that “proskuneo” is the most frequent word rendered “to worship”. It is used of an act of homage or reverence to God, Christ, man, idols, the Beast, etc. Proskuneo is from the Greek words “pros” meaning  “toward” and “kuneo” meaning “to kiss”. I find this particularly interesting since I find worship so personal. Just the idea that when we worship we are kissing toward the person, thing or god that we are worshiping.

In Romans 12 Paul encourages us to be LIVING sacrifices, to live our lives in a continual state of dying to ourselves and allowing the LORD to live through us. To allow Him to pour His love out on others through our skin, our actions, our words, our deeds. But what does this have to do with a Sunday worship service? As all the changes have been occurring, and I have to be honest, I have not been happy with all of them, I have been talking to God a lot about all of it. Wanna know what He told me? “This is not about you.” The Sunday worship service has NOTHING to do with what I want in the music or the theme or the lighting, the feel, the layout of the room or the altar, NOTHING about me. A “worship” service should be all about bringing GOD glory. What does HE want? What does HE want it to look like, feel like, sound like?

You know what I think? I don’t think He cares about any of those things. What He cares about is those hearts that are being lifted up to Him in worship of Him. Through this change I have learned something about myself. I can worship God to ANY style of music. Even the kind that makes me want to fall asleep. How? Because it’s not about the words I’m singing, or even the music I’m singing them to, but rather about how my heart opens up to the LORD when I’m singing them. THAT is what He is seeking, THAT is what He longs for day in and day out. For my heart (and your heart) to open up to Him. To His word, to His touch, to His Truth.

When my husband and I started writing True Intimacy we did not have open hearts. They were closed to each other and they were closed to the LORD. When your heart is closed, just like a door or a window, nothing can come in and nothing can come out. And the things that are inside become stagnant from lack of use. Things like love and caring for others, when unused become weak and useless. When your heart is closed the things inside become dusty and rusty. Making it harder the next time you want to actually use them. BUT, when your heart is open things can move freely from the inside out and vice-versa. Now, this also means that there is a higher likely hood that someone might come along and hurt your heart, this is true. But it also means that there is an even higher likely hood that someone might come along and hug your heart. Have you ever had your heart hugged? I have. It’s when, even though they aren’t actually touching you physically, it feels as if everything inside you is being hugged. Like your heart is going to explode from all the love that is being poured into it at the moment. God hugs my heart often, usually through my family and my soul sisters. Through the things that they say and do and just being with them, loving God with them. Sharing Him with them, telling them what He’s been doing lately and hearing what He’s been up to in their lives as well.

So I guess, as I work through this, I’m discovering more and more that what, I think, God would like to see in a worship service is community. A place where fellow believers can come together and hug each others hearts. Where they can share God with each other, lift each other up in prayer together and shout praises to Him through words and song.  The songs that are sung, shouldn’t matter, just that they are sung with open hearts ready to give and receive God’s love in whatever form He chooses for it to take whether it be reproof or acceptance. Open to hear His word spoken, open to the idea that these hearts aren’t perfect and are in need of a savior who is willing to do anything, including die an excruciating death, to make sure that these hearts get purified and forgiven.

He loves us so tremendously, HOW we worship Him shouldn’t matter to us. Just THAT we worship Him.

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Shepherds

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Tamar

“Holy Father, please protect our Shepherds in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
A shepherd is anyone in a leadership position of any kind. God’s word stresses that we are to pray for our leaders. It also points out that if the shepherd is struck down the sheep will scatter. This is the Enemy’s ultimate goal, to make the sheep scatter by striking the shepherd over them. In this time of change and frustration we MUST be praying for our leaders, from our Bible study leaders to our pastors to our president, they are all shepherds. The above prayer is a breath prayer, a prayer you can say in one breath. I encourage you to pray this prayer at least once a day! Our shepherds are under attack and it’s time to stand up and fight for them, while they’re fighting for us! In Jesus’ name pray for our shepherds!

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Show and Tell

Posted on November 15, 2011 by Tamar

There is no life, no deed, no word so small that it doesn’t leave an imprint on the world around it.
There is no miscarried or aborted baby that doesn’t leave behind a trail of its existence. There is no smile that doesn’t leave a trace on the heart that it smiled to (or from). There is no word spoken in condemnation that doesn’t rip through the souls of the people who heard it. There is nothing so small that it doesn’t leave behind it a point of impact.
There is a song I used to sing in Sunday School when I was growing up that conveys a poignant message we all need to heed. “Oh be careful little eyes what you see, oh be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down with love oh be careful little eyes what you see. Oh be careful little ears what you hear… Oh be careful little hands what you do… Oh be careful little lips what you say… Oh be careful little feet where you go… For the Father up above is looking down with love of be careful little ________ what you do.”
Every action in this world has a reaction, every pebble, no matter how small, leaves ripples in the pond that last far longer than the impact of that single pebble. EVERYTHING you do makes a difference, it’s up to you what KIND of a difference you’re making. br
Picking up the paper towels that someone left on the floor on the public restroom may not seem like a big deal, but it is, especially to the person who has to come in and clean those restrooms! (I’ve been that person before, it’s not a fun job.) Letting that one sarcastic or disproving sound escape you’re lips instead of keeping your mouth clamped shut leaves a scar.
Sometimes we leave bigger impacts than we expect. We’re big fans of Mythbusters at the Knochel house. Once, when they were testing a myth on knocking socks off, they prepared an explosion to see if they could knock the socks off some mannequin legs. The explosion was…. a bit larger than they expected. The shock wave that spread across the ground was amazing to watch in the video. The wave of that explosion went all the way over to the neighboring town, shaking walls, setting off car alarms, and knocking dishes off shelves, it was huge! Men, set off an explosion in your marriage today, send out a shock wave that will shake the town, SHOW you’re wife how much you love her. Vacuuming the living room when your wife asks you to, without complaining and groaning, HUGE IMPACT! (That one is certain to earn you some big man points in her book.) Taking the time to place your hand on the small of her back as you pass by her in the kitchen while she’s making dinner, KABOOM. Bring her flowers or even a chocolate bar from the gas station, HELLO, was that a dish dropping to floor in shock as you walk in the door?
Women, you can do this too, COMPLEMENT your husband. SHAZAM! Say thank you to him when he does what you asked him to do, even if it took him all night to do it. Men feed on praise, FEED THE BOY! Show and tell each other how much you love one another, it will have a HUGE explosive impact, one that reaches much father than just the walls of your house.
“But wisdom is proved right by her actions.” Matthew 11:19b
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please the sinful nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:7-10
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

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