The following is an excerpt from our book True Intimacy.
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For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14
So, what are you made of? It’s an interesting comment to be sure. But really, have you ever thought about it? The nursery rhymes tell us: “Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of.” Then there’s science, the human body is made up of mostly water. But what does the bible have to say about it? Psalm 139:13-14 says that God wove us together in our mother’s womb, creating us with His very own hands, it’s just mind-blowing. God’s hands created each and every one of us. HE made us. Just like Adam and Eve God’s hands formed us. And just like creation He stands back, watches us grow and says “it is good”.
In the Garden of Eden:
“The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:20-24)
As Adam was naming all of the animals he realized that they all had mates and he didn’t. He noticed that each of them had someone to call their own, and yet he didn’t. Poor Adam was lonely, he wanted someone just like him; a partner, a mate. So God lovingly created Eve for him. But Eve unlike everything else in creation wasn’t spoken into existence or even made from the dust of the Earth like Adam, she was made from Adam’s flesh and bone. When you think about how we as women were first created, it explains A LOT doesn’t it! We’re tough and soft all at the same time; we’re made from bone and flesh. God created us from man’s rib, not his head to be above him, or his feet to be below him, but his rib to be beside him. And under his arm to be protected by him, close to his heart, to be loved by him.5
God made everything to serve a purpose, but I believe He had a very special purpose in mind when He created women. We were made in such a different fashion than everything else on the earth, how can we not then BE different from everything else on earth? While nothing in all of creation could fill the position of Adam’s “helper”, woman could. Creation wasn’t complete until Eve came along. It’s like God kept saying “Hmmmm, something’s missing… AHA! That’s it! Woman!” Hee hee! We’re the icing on the creation cake!
In a conversation on this topic, my good friend Kelly commented, “… I’m made of ivory!” I looked at her questioningly “Ivory?” I said. “Yup, I’m made from Adam’s bone, polished-white-beautiful-ivory.” I think Kelly’s got it right! We are made of ivory. We may have a few dirty spots on us, some dents and nicks, but under it all, we’re made of polished white beautiful ivory. And it’s nothing for God to wipe those spots off for us and fill in those dents; all we have to do is ask Him to. He’s got the best cleaning solution known to man; it fixes everything – Christ’s blood.
Now that we know what we’re made of, let’s look and see why it’s important. In Mark 10:2-12 Jesus is asked about divorce by:
Some Pharisees [who] came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. And He answered and said to them. “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. “But from the beginning of creation. God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”
In this New Testament section, where Jesus himself is reminding us all that when God started creation He created them MALE and FEMALE, they were different and yet together made one whole. I took a closer look at the words translated “and the two shall become one flesh”. In the original Greek this word is “proskollao” which according to Strongs Exhaustive Concordance means “to be glued to, to cleave, to stick to”. When God created Adam and Eve He never intended them to separate or divorce one another. Notice how it states the same thing twice, adding emphasis to the fact that what used to be two separate entities, once married and united with sex, become one entity.
In Genesis 2:21 while God is forming Eve: the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. There is another place in Genesis where God causes someone else to fall into a “deep sleep”, and I KNOW that it’s not a coincidence. In Genesis 15:9-18
God himself cut a blood covenant with Abram. The procedure, to us is very peculiar, however as covenants go this one is filled with significance. God instructed Abram to gather an assortment of animals for sacrifice. Abram took the larger sacrificial animals and cut them each into half, and arranged the halves on the ground with space between them so that they could walk between them – just as the LORD had instructed. Some birds of prey came and Abram chased them off, then the sun began to set and a deep sleep fell on Abram. This is where God spoke to him and told him about the covenant He was making with him and his descendants. When the sun had set God came down in the form of fire and passed between the pieces of the sacrifice; officially cutting a blood covenant with Abram and his heirs.
Now, tell me, when you cut an animal in half do you think there might be a little blood involved in the process? Of course there was, hence the name “blood covenant”. This type of promise was sacred to the people making the covenant. By walking through the bloody animal halves they were promising that if they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain then they too could be cut in half! This was a serious promise girls! Are you ready for where this gets REALLY interesting? When we get married we are also committing to a blood covenant between God, ourselves and our husbands. When we cut this covenant God is joining the two souls of the bride and groom and making them one soul. Covenants are NOT meant to be broken, ever. They are meant to be protected, like when Abram protected the animal halves from the birds of prey. There will be birds of prey in your life coming to devour your covenant, which is why you need to be vigilant and protect it. And if these blood covenants are broken, there are deadly consequences involved. THIS is why marriage is meant to be FOREVER, not just “till someone better comes along or I’m tired of you”.
The Father is leading me to share with you a very intimate prayer that I wrote on this day in our fast.
“Lord,
I am so messed up! Christian and I have inflicted so much damage on each other. Is there any way to repair it? Is there still hope for us? I know with You all things are possible, but I need reminding of it. We’ve made so many mistakes along the way and right now it feels so hopeless. Please touch our hearts. Give us tenderness towards each other that’s never been there before. Its day 11 of our sex fast and things are starting to get more difficult. Please use this fast for Your good. Please help us to grow our relationship deeper into You and Your promises. Help us to resist temptation; he smells and feels so good LORD! Oh my! I wasn’t expecting this, well, OK, maybe a little but not so soon. LORD please help us to leave the lust-based relationship behind & pick up the deep-sweet-loving relationship I keep dreaming of LORD. Please help me stop basing my self-worth on how he treats me and how he sees me and start placing it in YOUR hands. Help us to refresh our young love and remember what we like about each other. Help us TRULY start over, with You in the center of our relationship now. Please help our hearts re-join and beat as one functioning heart. I don’t know that they ever have LORD, but if not then I ask that You make it that way now. Help us to always seek YOU first and to always look for ways and things that we can do for each other to build each other up. Help us to see past our faults and move on together. Please help us to MAKE TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER.”
I never said this would be easy my friends, (notice how many times I asked God for HELP in that prayer) but I am telling you that it IS worth it. There were several times when I wanted to give up, not just on the fast but on my marriage as well! But you know what, I got through this and so can you. Just keep praying; and remind yourself:
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) – YOU CAN DO THIS!
God can and WILL give you the strength to endure this, just keep asking Him to help you, and He will. He is blissfully faithful, even when we’re not.
Christian’s comments:
When Jesus speaks of marriage in Matthew 19:5, he says “…and the two shall become one flesh.” This is very fitting. God created Eve from Adam’s flesh; He created two from one flesh. He could have said, “The one flesh shall become two.” He may have even been thinking that when He took Adam’s rib. When we marry, we rejoin what was separated. We take the one flesh that became two, and God joins the two back into one.
Wives, if you are struggling with this like Tamar was, be honest with your husband and ask him to pray with you, and for you. I had no idea that Tamar was having that much difficulty with it. If she had asked, I would have been more than happy to pray with her.
The same goes for you, husbands. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. It takes a strong man to ask for help. If you are struggling with this, ask your wife for prayers. Go to God too. Psalm 50:15a says: Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you.
Tamar Knochel 