Our journey into ministry started when my husband and I wrote our first book, True Intimacy, together. It’s all about God, sex and marriage. We started with one of the toughest topics, everything since then has been CAKE! If you’re married I highly suggest reading these, if nothing else they’re a great refresher course. Which is why I believe God has instructed me to make this a yearly thing for www.TamarKnochel.com. to be posting the daily devotionals from our book True Intimacy.
May God bless your marriage RICHLY!!!!!
Introduction to True Intimacy
In 2009 my husband and I set out on a journey to freedom; hopped onto the spiritual Underground Railroad so to speak. We had been married for nine years at that point and loved each other desperately… but we had issues; issues that just weren’t going away with time. I had prayed for years that God would “fix him” until one day something clicked for me. The things we’ve done in the past can follow us to our present and ruin our future! It was then that I realized I had to go back, open up things from our past that needed dealt with and, well, deal with them. Now, I’ve been a “goody-two-shoes” Christian girl my entire life. I didn’t have a lot of skeletons in my closet… but I did have some, and they needed to come out! The biggest and most important skeleton was the skeleton of pre-marital sex.
Pre-marital sex is extremely common these days, especially considering that some people aren’t even bothering to get married and are just living together instead. But just because everyone else is doing it (literally) doesn’t make it healthy or right. It just means there are that many more people calling curses down upon themselves and their love lives! I know that in this day and age when we think/hear about curses the first thing we think about is Harry Potter and magic wands and such. So when we hear that having sex outside of marriage (AKA. sexual immorality) brings a curse on our sex lives, it sounds absolutely ridiculous or absurd to most people. But the truth is that is precisely what happens! Until I really started digging deeply into the word of God, I didn’t understand what a curse even was. So indulge me for a brief moment as I expound what I’ve learned.
A curse is the opposite of a blessing. According to my gigantic Webster’s Dictionary, a curse is: “*the expression of a wish that misfortune, evil, doom, etc. befall another. *a formula or charm intended to cause such misfortune to another. *an evil that has been invoked upon one. *the cause of evil, misfortune or trouble.” So while a curse is something someone can speak, it is also something that is the cause of misfortune or trouble.
In Deuteronomy 28 God explains the difference between blessings and curses. He spends 11 verses explaining how “If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all His commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these (11 verses worth of) blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:” (v.1-2) He then takes the rest of the chapter (almost 3 pages long in my Bible) to explain curses, what they look like and how they exhibit themselves. A few examples are: confusion, drought, disease, defeat, fever & inflammation, incurable boils, tumors, festering sores & itching, mildew, unsuccessful in everything you do, oppression, robbery, fiancé raped, work hard but never enjoy the fruits of your labor, debt, a foreign nation will strike out against your homeland, paychecks disappear before your eyes, sacrificing children and spouse well-being for your own selfish desires, no rest for the weary, anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, despairing heart, live in constant suspense, filled with dread day and night never sure of your life, “In the morning you will say, ‘If only it were evening!’ and in the evening, ‘If only it were morning!” (v. 67)
YIKES! And you see, the thing about living as a Christian is that it is possible to be blessed beyond the curse in one or even most areas of our lives and still be living under the curse in others. That is precisely what was happening in our marriage. We were living as believers under a heavy and oppressive curse, several of them. But God is an amazing God, abounding in love and mercy and goodness! You see, He heard my cries for help and He answered me and told me great and unsearchable things. Things that I did not know! (Jer 33:3) On July 14th 2009 God gave me a key. And Oh! What a key it is! Because this key unlocks curses! It unlocks the padlock of oppression that is keeping millions of people all over the world captive in satan’s jail. Heh, heh, heh, and I – the daughter of the living God Most High – have this key and I know how to use it! I know I have something precious and very important, and it wouldn’t be right of me to keep it to myself! So here I am to share it with all of you! Are you ready to hear what the key is that the Enemy has tried so desperately to keep a secret? SEX! … and not having it. Yup. It’s as simple as that! Read on my friend, you’ll see.
This is not an ordinary book you hold in your hands. It is not a daily devotional, and yet, it kind of is. It is not a self-help book, and yet in a way it kind of is. It is not a journal, and yet it kind of is. Yes, this book is many things, but most of all, this book is a journey. It’s a step-by-step road map that we followed, sometimes despite confusion or frustration. It’s a path that led us to Jesus and a relationship with each other that we never could have imagined was possible. And it wasn’t possible, without Him. There will be things in this book that may sound silly or make no sense at the time that we ask them of you… but… know that the blessing that you will reap from doing them can and will be more profound and farther reaching than you ever imagined. So, for the next thirty four days, please commit yourself to reading daily and to “taking action” and you will not be sorry. You could read and not commit to take action; but don’t expect a full blessing if you don’t put in your full effort. As your tour guides on this journey we pray that you step onto this path with an open mind and an open heart, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you to a closer relationship with Him and each other. May God bless you with His presence in each passing hour until we know Him fully.
– S. Christian & Tamar Knochel