“But our God turned the curse into a blessing” Nehemiah 13:2
About six years ago our marriage changed forever.
You see, we went through this phase where we loved each other, but… we didn’t really like each other that much anymore. My only job was to cook, clean and care for the family – and I was THRILLED with it! My days were extremely fulfilling, I was proud of how I was taking care of our budding family. My nights on the other hand, were anything BUT a scene from 50 Shades of Grey. Most nights I would put the kids to bed on my own and then watch TV or hang out on the computer writing. My husband was nowhere in sight, off hanging out with his buddies working on those derby cars they cherished more than their wives. There were many nights I would cry myself to sleep because I was so frustrated and lonely. This man I had spent the last seven years surviving hell with was suddenly gone. We had been through so much together, with only the two of us to go through it, and now here we were, “settled” and he was gone. I felt so extremely alone, and hurt, and kind of used.
Then there came a day when, through the direction of the Holy Spirit, I went to him and told him everything that had been on my heart. For the next 30 days we lived through the “rough draft” of our first book, True Intimacy.
We did everything that this book details before pen ever touched paper. We experienced God in a completely different way than we ever had before; we experienced Him together by coming apart… and then back together again.
This Valentine’s Day everyone seems to be buzzing about 50 Shades of Grey. I haven’t seen the movie OR read the book and therefore have no informed opinion on it. But from what I have seen in the reviews and the commercials, 50 Shades of Grey is an intense journey through the bedroom of this un-married couple who do… ahem, different things to one another in a sexual manner. Now, the fact that this couple is not married enrages me for a multitude of reasons. However, if they were married to each other, it becomes a story of GOD’s picture for marriage! YES! It really is!
Again, I haven’t read the book or watched the movie however; after spending a lifetime studying the Bible and how God feels about sex and marriage, I am 100% confident in telling you that God WANTS you to enjoy sex with your spouse! God created sex. God created marriage. He put Adam and Eve together and said, “Go populate the rest of the world!” Hello! If that doesn’t mean go have LOTS of sex and enjoy each other while doing it, I don’t know what does!
There was a day when I was praying about sex and marriage and asking God about it and He told me, “I created marriage so that you could do whatever your filthy little minds came up with to do.” God KNOWS that humanity is going to come up with some pretty “weird” stuff to do to each other when we’ve been married for YEARS and we want to “spice it up a notch”. And as long as you’re keeping it all between the two of you, man and wife, and both of you are comfortable with what’s being done, GO FOR IT!!!! God created you. He created your bodies and your marriage and everything that that entails. He wants you to enjoy each other completely! Why else would He have included the Song of Solomon in the Bible where He says to the happy couple, “Eat friends, drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers.” (5:1) Sweetie, He aint talkin’ ’bout no regular food and drink here! He’s talking about sex!!!
For the next few weeks I’ll be posting the chapters from our book True Intimacy! I encourage you to read them with your spouse and see what God taught us about marriage and how wonderful it can be. It is a challenge. To do everything the book suggests isn’t easy; however it is TOTALLY worth every difficult second! Our marriage has never been better and we praise God for bringing True Intimacy into our lives! We pray that God will use it in your lives to bring True Intimacy to your marriage too! God bless you!