Posts Tagged With: God

It’s a Blessing. Period.

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Tamar

I have to apologize that I haven’t been on to blog much this week. Things have been… well, a little extraordinary. It started Wednesday, I was hosting Bible study at my house and we were just finishing up when I got a call from the school. You know one of those mom moments when you see the caller ID and your heart drops to your stomach. It was the school nurse calling, my son was out at recess playing tag with his friends when he ran straight into one of the poles holding up the slide and chipped his two front teeth! Of course I left my daughter with my beloved sisters in Christ at the Bible study (who were already praying for the situation) and rushed over to the school to pick up my poor scared son. Now in all this you need to know that we don’t have dental insurance, or a regular dentist. So on my way to the school I called the local dentist’s office to see if they could fit him in right away and if they would be willing to work with us financially (especially since I had no idea how much it was going to cost to reconstruct two teeth). By the end of the phone call I was fairly certain that I wasn’t supposed to go there. (Not that there’s any thing wrong with them just I could tell it wasn’t God’s will.) Our phone call ended just as I was pulling into the school parking lot (thank You God for cell phones), turned off the truck and allowed myself to briefly dissolve into tears. My baby had been broken and I had been powerless to stop it or even comfort him after it happened. I was crushed. I pulled myself together and went into the school to collect my tearful boy. The secretary told me that when he first came into the nurse’s office he was so scared and shaken up, so she went in and prayed with him. Now I have to tell you that of all the spectacular things that happened this week this was the thing that touched my mother’s heart the most. That in those moments where my baby was hurt and frightened and most likely in absolute shock about what had just happened God had made sure that there would be someone there to comfort him in the best way anyone can be comforted, with the comforter Himself the Holy Spirit. Now you need to know that this is not a common practice in our school, but rather the secretary knows us and knows that praying with my son would be absolutely encouraged and not scorned as it would be in some schools. Anyway, I collected him from school, asking the secretary if she knew of a good dentist. She gave me a name but the office was really far away and I didn’t feel like that was the right place either. As Gabe and I walked out of the school holding hands I could feel him trying to be tough and hold back his tears, so I turned to him and said “Honey, it’s OK to cry, Mommy is already crying.” And we walked to the truck hand in hand sobbing the whole way. Just as we were buckling up to head back home I got a text from a friend of mine who used to be a dental hygienist. She had just walked past my house and one of the Bible study ladies noticed her and told her what had happened so that she could pray too. In her text she told me the name of the dentist that she takes her kids to, their phone number, and that she “would never take them anywhere else”. Finally something felt right! When we got home I called them and the receptionist was great, detailing a good estimate and willing to work with us to split up the payments too. But I was still unsure of going with them, you see at that point I was terrified of dentists and so I was doubting the Holy Spirit leading me there. But then the receptionist mentioned that they are normally closed for lunch at the time I called, but that day “just by chance” they were still behind the desk and answered the phone. That was all I needed to hear! This WAS God’s will!

We made an appointment for an hour later, dropped Anna off at the library with a friend so she could play instead of sit in a waiting room, and then headed over to the dentist office. On the way I called our church office to let them know what was going on so that they could pray for Gabe and our finances, a few short minutes later I got a call from my mother in law to check on Gabe and to let us know that they had been talking about giving Gabe some money for braces and that we could use it for this if we needed to. Answered prayer times two!!!

Now to help you better understand just how terrified of dentists I was, the last time I walked into a dentist office it wasn’t even for me, and I was still shaking like a leaf! When I walked into this office is was filled with such a tremendous sense of peace and calm that none of my old fears even came close to surfacing. God had gone before me and met me there, thank You Lord. They took Gabe back to get x-rays and fix his teeth and almost the entire time I was on the phone with people who were calling to check on him and let me know they were praying for us. When the battery on my phone ran out however, I was suddenly alone and the fear started creeping in. I started fervently praying for Gabe that God would be with him and that he would not be afraid of dentists like me (certainly not the first time I’ve prayed that). I do NOT want to pass my irrational fears onto my kids! I just kept praying over and over “Lord, please don’t let him be afraid” when God’s voice broke through my stream of pleas, “He was afraid when it happened, your prayers over the years asking Me to make sure that he wouldn’t be afraid like you, are being answered. The dentist is the one who is making the fear flee. I am acting through him to fix the things that were broken. He will never be afraid of dentists now.”

As we were driving home from the dentist’s office, were listening to our favorite Christian radio station and I was praying asking God what had caused the incident. I had just posted a salvation message the night before it happened, so did that mean that this was a counter attack from the Enemy? Was this a pruning lesson? Had I done something disobedient? What was the REASON behind my poor son’s pain? I was wracking my very exhausted brain trying to figure out what was going on. And then Laura Story’s song “Blessings” came on the radio and God said to me. “Does it really matter WHY it happened, or where it came from? It’s a blessing. Period.” And that was enough for me. So many times in our Christian lives we stress ourselves out trying to figure out WHY something “bad” happened, or how we could have avoided it. What we could have done differently, or should have done differently. We spend so much time trying to figure out where the pressure is coming from that we fail to realize that it ALL comes from God ultimately. Whether things come from His fingers or through His fingers, they all come from the potter’s hands. So why waste our time worrying about where they’re coming from and just realize that at some point we must yield to the pressure from the potter’s hands and do our best to learn whatever lesson God is trying to teach us, whatever the means and purpose is. I know that this is not a message that most people will agree with, and that’s fine. It’s just the message that God has given me to deliver, and it is my job to deliver it. Whether you accept it is between you and God. Right now, we live in a world filled with unspeakable horrors, does God allow them, or does He cause them? Really, in the end, does it make a difference? If it makes you feel better to think that He allows them, so be it. It makes me feel better knowing that He causes them. Why??? Because it proves to me, that HE is in complete control of the life that I have so lovingly given to Him to care for… mine. It helps me to know that when I’m facing a dark and difficult situation in my life, that it’s not because the Enemy is getting away with something that the Lord doesn’t know about, or has allowed him to do. But rather, I like to look to Isaiah 54:16-17 “‘See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc; no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from Me’ declares the LORD.” God created Satan to wreak havoc, it is his purpose on this earth to be the cause of our “bad” situations so that God can work His miracles through them. Light shines the brightest in the darkness. What would God’s goodness be if there was no evil through which it could shine? It’s a blessing. Period.

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Prayer for Guidance: Psalm 23

Posted on September 10, 2011 by Tamar

“Know ye that Jehovah, He is God: It is He that hath made us, and we are His; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise: Give thanks unto Him, and bless His name. For Jehovah is good; His loving kindness endureth for ever, And His faithfulness unto all generations.” Psalm 100:3-5 American Standard Version

Today I have spent the whole day at Living Proof Live! It was wonderful being surrounded by the women that I love hearing the word of God spoken with Beth Moore’s beautiful Texas accent. Now I’m a worshiper, and my favorite part of the day were the praise and worship times when I had the opportunity to join with 180,000 women across the glove singing praises to the name of Jesus our Messiah! It was AWESOME! At one point my friend Cindy turned to me and with a big grin said “I bet it makes God so happy to hear this right now.” And I shared with her how this spring I was at a women’s retreat, The Walk to Emmaus, where we sang everything with only an acoustic guitar and barely any amplification. The sound of the women’s voices lifting up the LORD’S praises was simply too much for me to handle and I could rarely sing the first verse or two for the beauty of the sound! I could only listen and dwell in the smile of pleasure that warmed God’s heart as He was receiving our praises.

We were created to praise Him! His word says as much. He DELIGHTS in the praises that we lift up, either songs, poems, stories, tears, moanings, groanings, you name it I believe that He LOVES it! However, I also believe that it is the Enemy’s goal in life to steal those praises from our lips. To snatch them from our hearts. To ensnare them from getting to Jesus on the throne and in turn steal Jesus’ joy of hearing them. I want you to think about this for a minute. When you do something big for someone, and they say thank you, how much does it mean to you. I’m not talking about one of those passive, smile-and-nod “thanks”, I mean one of those heartfelt, from the bottom of their toes, THANK YOU’s. How great does that feel? And if it feels that good to us, then how GREAT must it make God feel when we say that to Him? Now just try to tell me that the Enemy wouldn’t want to take that away from God. I would not believe you if you tried! No, it’s Satan’s chief goal to steal God’s glory and His honor and His praise through every way that he abuses us, trying to get us to drop our arms, to stop our songs of praise, to keep us from writing our stories of triumph and victory over defeat, to stop our tears of joy from flowing to the altar. The Enemy wants them replaced with guilt and shame, fear and condemnation. As God shared this epiphany with me today, in that church as I stood singing at the top of my voice with my arms reaching out to the heavens in an attempt to touch the hem of His holy robe, do you know what I told Him? I told God that I would NOT let the Enemy win. That I refused to let the Enemy steal my joy, to steal my confidence in the grace under which I live. I will NOT allow him to convince me that my God, who DIED FOR ME, doesn’t love me. I will NOT allow him to shut my praises up inside of me for fear of the condemnation of people who simply don’t understand what living under the grace-filled-shadow of the hand of the Almighty looks like. It looks like a shattered heart that has been mended by loving hands that KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING! It looks like tears flowing, not from hurt, but from HEALING. No, living a grace-filled-life isn’t without pain, or battles; it’s loving and praising through them because we have the peace that passes all understanding. It’s KNOWING that God loves us, not because He showers us with gifts of THINGS or MONEY, but that He prunes us so that we may bear much fruit. Life is HARD, and it HURTS! But we choose the one of two places from which those hurts can come from; the hands of someone who HATES US with everything in him (the Enemy) or they can come from the hands of the one who LOVES US MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF! HE DIED TO SET YOU FREE! He died to show you He loves you. He died so that you could LIVE. But He doesn’t force us to accept that love. He doesn’t force us to accept that life. He merely lays it at our feet like a rose on the ground, and we choose to pick it up and cherish it like the gift that it was meant to be, or walk all over it like it’s worth nothing at all to us.

While Jesus was here, many people treated Him just that way; like a rose trampled on the ground. Like He was nothing, and we still do it today, nothing has changed but the way in which we shun Him. Often times, it’s with a church service that brings people together in His name and then never mentions it once in the service. It’s people coming and singing the pretty church songs, but their praises are a mere “thanks” and not a heart-felt THANK YOU JESUS! Going through the motions so that WE feel like we’ve been to church and done our weekly Christian duty. But those aren’t the praises that God seeks, that’s not what He desires. He desires our hearts, not our sacrifices. He desires our LOVE and ADORATION, not our empty praises. He desires a FRIENDSHIP, not just an acquaintance. God wants US, all of us, not just a part. He wants us to DIVE into the deep end of His love and splash around in His grace. To do a cannonball off the diving board, just because we can. But, HOW do we do that? How do we get there?

We ask.

We all have a different way to get to that point with God where we are confidently leaning on Him, so I can’t tell you that’s there’s one way and here’s how you do it. We are all made uniquely individual and we all come to Jesus in exactly that way. But I can tell you this, you CAN ask Him to take you there. You can ask Him HOW to get to that point. And when you call to Him for help, guidance, directions, He WILL answer you. It’s a promise.

Prayer for Guidance:Psalm 23: “Lord Jesus, I want to know You more. But I don’t know how. I want to lean on You in confidence that You won’t let me fall, but I don’t know what that looks like. God PLEASE, help me get there. Right now I am Your lost little sheep in need of a Shepherd to guide me, lead me to that place where You are. Please help me to lie down in green pastures, lead me beside those still waters, because I believe that You will restore my soul. Lord, guide me in paths of righteousness for Your name’s sake. I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death right now Lord, but I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Lord, I believe that You do prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. That when You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Lord, I do believe that SURELY Your Goodness and Mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and that I WILL dwell in the house of Yaweh FOREVER. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

You know what I’m really enjoying about these scripture based prayers, they start out asking for something, and end up DECLARING THE VICTORY! AMEN! I am including a video (below) of a praise song with the lyrics included on the screen. If you are able, and I pray that God will allow you to read this particular post at a time when you are able to play the video, stand or kneel if you feel called. Sing along, raise your arms in praise to His sacrifice and His grace, and praise Him with a deeply felt thankful heart that He is GOOD and WORTHY of praise! HALLELUJAH!

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Prayer for God’s Protection: Psalm 91

Posted on September 9, 2011 by Tamar

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

As children of the Living God our creator when we read through the Bible, His love letter to us, we find promises that He has made to us. Psalm 91 is one of those promises, a cherished one, and a very powerful one. This is a Psalm that the Jews often memorize and recite in times of trouble for themselves or loved ones. Right now, with everything that is going on in the world today, Fear is running rampant through the streets. But as true believers of Jesus we can STAND ON THESE PROMISES. When we are already in the arms of the LORD, we find ourselves dwelling in the shelter of the Most High and resting in the shadow of the Almighty. We can say “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  We do not need to be afraid. Period. Did you know that the message “don’t be afraid” or a variation of it is repeated 365 times in the Bible? That’s one for every day of our year! Fear is a powerful weapon in the Enemy’s arsenal, and he loves to wield it against us… because it works. Fear is a tremendous motivator, sometimes for good. But being afraid, is pointless. Fear causes us to make quick decisions and do foolish things. If we are afraid, then we are not trusting God for that thing. Thinking back on this I realize that I did that very thing not even hours ago! I was shopping in a hurry because I had taken my time on my earlier errands. I got to the store and like I usually do, I prayed that God would lead me in my shopping, that I wouldn’t spend more than His will for our family, that I would get all the things that I needed, and most importantly, that He would LEAD ME TO THE DEALS! 🙂 Boy did He ever too! But anyway, I digress. The cart was packed to the gills and I kept looking at it thinking this is going to cost more than what I budgeted, this isn’t good, I am afraid of just HOW MUCH this is going to cost! I was doubting Him and His leading me… JUST like I had asked Him to! I was afraid that it would cost more than we could afford, right after I had asked Him to help me make sure that I wouldn’t do that! Sometimes I really disappoint myself. I wasn’t walking in the faith that God had heard and would answer my prayer for guidance. HELLO! Jeremiah 33:3 TAMAR! “Call to me and I will answer you...” Promise!

God doesn’t want us to be afraid of ANYTHING, because He’s taking care of EVERYTHING for us… when we dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty. When God is our refuge and fortress, when we trust in HIM, He takes care of everything! Now, I’d like to say that I came out of the store under MY budget, but I didn’t. I was however only $15 over AND I walked out of the store saving $30 and had a backseat FULL of groceries! There was barely room for my daughter to sit! Woohoo! Thanks for all the deals Daddy! Yes, I slipped a little in my faith that God would answer my call for help in the store… but HE is faithful, and irregardless of MY lack of faith, HE still held up His end of the deal. So, where did my fear and worry get me? Nowhere other than the foot of the cross asking for forgiveness once again. Little by little I’m getting better at trusting Him.

As for the Prayer for Protection from Psalm 91, I’ve been praying/declaring it over my friends the last couple of days. Praying it for their family by their family name, and praying it for our own family by name. I’m going to type it with specific words underlined, when praying this prayer for someone else, a family or an individual simply exchange their name with the underlined word(s). This particular prayer is interesting because it’s really more of a declaration of faith than it is a request. Which, honestly, I think is what makes it so effective. Because God doesn’t want us to just ask, no, He wants us to BELIEVE in what we are asking. The way that this Psalm is written, when you speak it over someone, it reads filled with belief and turns into a declaration of faith. I love how it works out that way. 🙂 But my favorite part is the end, where God responds immediately to the prayer, make sure to read His answer out loud as well! Actually, make sure to read the whole prayer out loud, the angels surrounding you right now waiting to carry out your prayer can’t read your mind, only God can do that! So make sure to declare this one loud and proud for your loved one! Make sure ALL the heavenlies can hear your declaration of faith!

Prayer for Protection: Psalm 91: “Father God Almighty, I lift up the Knochel family to You right now. Lord, may they dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of You the Almighty. May they say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom we trust.” Father,I believe that You will save them from the fowler’s (the Enemy) snare and from the deadly pestilence (sickness/ill-health). I believe that You will cover them with Your feathers, and that under Your wings they will find refuge; I believe that Your faithfulness will be their shield and rampart. They will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at their side, ten thousand at their right hand, but I believe that it will not come near them. They will only observe with their eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If they make You the Most High their dwelling – even the LORD, who is my refuge – then I believe that no harm will befall them, no disaster will come near their tent. Lord, I believe that You will command Your angels concerning them to guard them in all their ways; that the angels will lift the Knochel’s up in their hands, so that they will not strike their foot against a stone. Lord, I believe that the Knochel’s will tread upon the lion and the cobra; that they will trample the great lion and the serpent (all symbols of the Enemy). “Because they love Me” says the LORD, “I will rescue them; I will protect them, for they acknowledge My name. They will call upon Me, and I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will deliver them and honor them. With long life will I satisfy them and show them My salvation.”

Cool story I heard a while back, a man (I think an evangelist) was a FIRM believer in the promises of Psalm 91. So much so that he had some scientist test him on it. So armed with a microscope, they placed the BUBONIC PLAGUE on his skin…. and watched it die the instant it touched him. Now THAT’S what I call active faith! My aunt’s husband Tom had cancer, the doctors gave him the option of taking a medicine with a 50% chance of working, he chose not to take the medicine and take his chances believing that God would cure him. Today, Tom is 100% cancer free! Among many many many other people prayers, one of the things that they did was a group of people stood by Tom and spoke Psalm 91 over him every day. The Bible is FILLED with miracles, and those miracles ARE possible for TODAY! God is the same yesterday, today and forever, He doesn’t change. He’s the same miracle-working God today that He was back then. The ONLY difference is whether we’re willing to BELIEVE HIM for those miracles or not. It’s all up to us. For anything is possible for him who believes!!! Speak this prayer out in BELIEF that it is the TRUTH and it is the LIFE and it is the WAY! (I really wish you could hear my fingers pounding on they keys as I’m typing this, I may hurt my computer!) The prayers of a righteous man/woman avails much. You know what makes someone righteous in God’s sight? The fact that they believe that He has forgiven them and that they TRUST HIM to do what He says He will do! Believe that HIS WORD IS TRUE and it will hold more power for you, than you ever thought possible! God is trustworthy, TRUST HIM and He will NOT let you down! Hallelujah!

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Bear Hugs

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Tamar

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15:9

I was just getting ready for bed and went to give my sleeping children just one more kiss for the day and to pray over them just one more time. But this time my daughter was still awake! She sat up and greeted me with a huge grin and through prune-y sucked fingers said “Hi Mommy”! My heart just melted! I sat down on her bed with her, wrapped her up in a big bear hug and squeezed her until she squeaked. I said, “Princess, I love you soooooo very much! And just think, I love you this much, and it’s not even close to the amount that God loves you, but He can’t hug you.” And I wrapped her in another tight squeeze. And it was in that moment that God chose to remind me how I had just prayed that He use me to show people how much He loves them. And how He was using me to show her and tell her how much He loves her… and how much He love me! More than a smitten mother’s love for her precious baby girl. Praise God! 🙂

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Labor

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Tamar

“We always give thanks to God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers – continually remembering before our God and Father you work of faith and and steadiness of hope in our Lord Yeshua the Messiah.” (1 Thessalonians 1:3 The Tree of Life Version)

OK, so I wanted to try my hand at writing to a theme today. Usually I just write whatever the LORD puts in my head, but yesterday, sitting in church, listening to the sermon on work, I felt the Holy Spirit tug me and tell me to stretch myself a little and start things from a different angle today. When we talked with the pastor after the sermon he mentioned that when he does a topical sermon he always starts with a word search through the bible to see what the scriptures say on the topic. So naturally, that’s where I started too. There are 115 individual scriptures in the New International Version of the Bible that have the word “labor” in them. I didn’t even get past the first 8 before I didn’t want to look at them any more! Almost every single one prefaced the word labor with the word “hard” or “harsh”, how depressing! So I decided, maybe I should look up the Webster’s definition of labor, maybe that might be a little more inspirational for a devotional blog… nope! According to my Webster’s New Basic dictionary and Thesaurus labor means: “(n) exertion of the body or mind; task; pains of childbirth, workmen collectively. (v) work hard; strive; maintain normal motion with difficulty; esp. of a ship, be tossed heavily.” I seriously thought to myself, THIS is what we’re supposed to be celebrating today??? Are we crazy??? And now that I’m thinking about it more, most of us celebrate Labor Day with a day OFF from laboring! Now, that doesn’t make sense either. So how do I write something inspirational and hopefully uplifting about a topic that is so depressing?

Maybe I should just start at the beginning. That’s what God did. If we look at the Garden of Eden and the very first thing that God gave Adam to do, He put him in the garden to “work it and take care of it” (Gen 2:15). But this job wasn’t labor, it wasn’t rife with toil or harshness. It was a labor of love! The ground had not been cursed yet, and was therefore easy to work. There wasn’t even sweat involved in the work. But then that serpent of old slithered in and ruined everything! He tempted, they ate, they were ashamed and hid, and then… in walks Daddy. Of course, like any good parent knows, He doesn’t really have to ask “what happened here”, because He already knows, He can see the evidence all over the ground, their faces, their fig leaves, but most of all… because He’s God. They offer Him their feeble excuses for what they’ve done and then their punishment is doled out:

“16 To the woman he said,“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” 17 To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Gen 3:16-19)

The very first appearance of the word labor in the NIV is in the curse for the woman and birthing children, it will be labor. Curious, I looked up the original Hebrew for this verse and found that it can also be translated as worrisomeness, labor, pain, toil or sorrow. Now please, moms out there, tell me, how many of you have birthed a child and NOT been plagued with worries, pain, toil and sorrows ever since your child was born? The physical pain of birthing that child may have concluded at its delivery, but all the rest of it certainly hasn’t stopped since! Just this week my four-year-old has shed blood 3 times in a four-day-span and the worry that I have been wrapped up in as to the cause of all this blood shed has eaten me up inside! Yet, I also don’t know a mother out there that wouldn’t say that all of this labor of mothering is anything other than a labor of love. It’s hard, totally not glamorous, but completely worth all of it!

I have to admit, in the last 2 years I have been laboring. I’ve studied hard, researched til my brain hurt and written until I thought my fingers were going to fall off, all for the sake of spreading the good news that Jesus saves! Not just our souls for eternal heavenly purposes, but for TODAY and the life that we were created to live! I can’t even begin to count how many hours I have spent at my desk pouring over the scriptures trying to find the understanding I felt I needed to be able to tell people in an informed manner what God can do for them. I filled an entire book with the knowledge and insight that I gained from the Holy Spirit. And I OFTEN referred to True Intimacy as a child or a baby. I labored, like many people would never understand, to birth that book. The concept in it and the rationales behind them. Many never written out, but simply there in the background of the page, written in red between the lines.  When it became very obvious that it was not God’s plan to immediately publish True Intimacy in a 3D printed format, I have to admit, I was crushed, but obedient and went the direction that God led me; this website. Creating it, praying for it, learning (the hard way) how to put it together and work the programs, to even writing and posting daily, it’s all been hard labor. But every second of it has been worth it, my labor of love for my creator and for you. Through this entire process I have said “people need to know about this!” and that’s why I’ve been writing. Not for the money or the fame of being a “published author”, although that has certainly been part of the dream, but for the simple fact that God delivered my husband and I so completely from the bondage of past sins that all I wanted to do was tell the world that Jesus saves! That Jesus frees! That Jesus loves! That God cares… about YOU! And honestly, if I never see a penny from royalties to the things that I write in His name I’m perfectly fine with that as long as the good news is being spread and read! And really, I think that’s the whole point of labor. Laboring in love for the people around you who will benefit from your toil. Putting our selfishness aside and putting those people first. When we make a dinner for someone who is home bound, it’s still labor, but the labor isn’t as toilsome when done in love, don’t you think? Perhaps that is because our hearts are lighter and therefore our burden is lighter as well. I don’t know. I just know that when we’re laboring for someone else to benefit it seems a lot less like labor and a lot more like love. 🙂

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The Light

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Tamar

“And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness.” (Genesis 1:3-4) “You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light. With Your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” (2 Samuel 22:29-30) “Let the light of Your face shine upon us, O LORD. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:6b-8) “When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12)

We have a 55-gallon fish tank in the middle of our living room. It’s had one light bulb burnt out for probably a year or more. So at least half of the tank is always dark. And when life gets busy and I get behind on cleaning it, I will often times forget to even turn the one working light on, because, why turn it on to see how yucky the tank is? That’s the way it’s been for the last… well… the summer to be honest. Until TODAY! I broke down and spent some bucks on the fishies, and bought TWO new lights for the tank. I put them in and was AMAZED at the difference! I hadn’t cleaned the tank, the glass, anything, the ONLY thing I did was turn a new light on into the darkness and suddenly EVERYTHING in the tank looked new! The plants, gravel and the glass all looked cleaner and even the fish had colors that I’d never seen in them before! All because I was seeing them in a new light… literally! Suddenly I realized that that’s exactly what happens to US when we choose a relationship with Christ. He takes our old burned-out light out and replaces it with the supernatural light of the Holy Spirit. And then amazing things start to happen! Even though we’re not spotlessly clean (“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24) His amazing light shining through us makes us look cleaner than we have been in months! His love brings out colors we never even knew we had! Strengths where there used to be weaknesses, confidence where there used to be fear, success where there used to be struggle. It’s through our relationship with Jesus that we can begin to experience life to the fullest degree possible. Not when we enter religion, but rather, when we enter into a relationship. There is a HUGE difference between the two.

God has really been stretching me on this concept. The concept of a real relationship with God Almighty and what that looks like, feels like, acts like, prays like. It’s been very different from religion. Religion is based on rules or the Law, right and wrong, black and white, traditions. But relationship is simply based on relation. How we relate to God and the world around us, filled with less black and white and rather color and depth, height and width. To go from the black and white two-dimensional world of religion and enter into the Technicolor high-definition world of relationship where NOTHING is simply black and white has made me feel a bit like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz! I’ve stepped into the place where everything I’ve ever thought I’ve know about God now has HIS light shining on it instead of my own dim bulb and there are colors and things that I’ve never seen before, concepts I’ve always just blindly accepted assuming they were correct and finding myself questioning them and testing them to see if they would hold up under this new light.

Something that is really blowing my mind today is that God knows everything. OK, I already knew that, but I mean He KNOWS EVERYTHING! Past, present and future, He knows it ALL. You see, that’s a big deal to me because I am a people pleaser, I care DESPERATELY about how God feels about me. Is He angry with me? Is He frustrated with me? Or is He disappointed in me? This last one is the worst one for me. I try SO hard to please Him ALL the time. But through all of this effort of trying to please Him I was missing something huge. God knows everything. Even everything about me! Like, He knows if I’m going to trip over one of my kids’ toys and speak harshly to them. He knows if I’m going to be bold and say “God bless you” to a complete stranger today. He knows it all. And since He knows it all, He’s not surprised by any of it, but rather He expected it.

As a mother I know my kids. I know that when I take my kids to the store at 7pm and they’re tired and hungry, things probably aren’t going to go too smoothly. I go into the store expecting them to struggle with maintaining their good manners. I’m also not surprised or disappointed with them when they start to melt down either. And why should I be? I’m the one that took them there in that condition in the first place!

My point is this, God knows when we’re tired of our circumstances and we’re ready to move on and He’s expecting a melt-down any second, He’s not angry or disappointed about it. He’s God. He knows everything! So what does He do? He hands us a cookie He had stashed in His purse for JUST such a time as this. Tells us to hang on just a little while longer. We’re almost done shopping there are just a few more things on His list and then we’ll move on.

Yes, it’s amazing what a new light can show you about the world that you carry around inside you. Things you never knew before.

Jesus, thank You for dying and giving up Your Spirit so that You could share it with us and shine Your beautiful light into our hearts and out through our lives! We are so blessed to be called not just children of God, but Your friends as well. Thank You for continuing to chase us down with the blessing of a RELATIONSHIP with You, the creator of everything bright and beautiful. We love You YAWEH! Thank You for loving us more than we can ever comprehend! I look forward to an eternity of getting to know You… but if You don’t mind Lord, I’d like to start TODAY… if that’s OK with You.

AMEN!

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Day 33: Celebrate

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Tamar

So these days were to be remembered and celebrated throughout every generation, every family, every province and every city; and these days of Purim were not to fail from among the Jews, or their memory fade from their descendants.  Esther 9:28

At this point in our fast, I was studying Beth Moore’s Esther: it’s Tough Being a Woman and it wasn’t but a day or two after our “first time” that this verse came up in our bible study.  Beth Moore was telling us about how important it is to God that we celebrate the times when He delivers us from the enemy’s hand.  The Israelites were delivered from slavery in Egypt, so they celebrate Passover.  In Esther they were delivered from an evil man’s plot to commit genocide, so they celebrate Purim.  As Christians we were delivered from sin and death by Christ’s death on the cross, so we celebrate Easter.  God loves it when we celebrate the miracles He’s performed in our lives.

God used this fast to deliver us from the bondage and slavery of sexual sin.  And I pray that He has done the same for you as well.  Therefore we should celebrate that deliverance!  The way that Christian and I have started celebrating is by fasting monthly during my period.

While some people may find the Old Testament laws “old-fashioned” and “out-dated” and “there’s no need to follow them all”, I feel that following them will bring us a much greater blessing than not following them.  With that being said, in Leviticus 15:19 it says, When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. And in Leviticus 18:19 it says, Also you shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness during her menstrual impurity. (Notice, it’s a repeated scripture…)  Now from some of the people I’ve talked to about these scriptures, they feel that this was simply for a cleanliness issue back then, they had no running water.  However, I’m not so sure.  This is blood that we’re talking about, and we KNOW how God feels about blood, it’s a serious thing for Him.  So, like I said earlier, I don’t think that God can give us his full blessing if we’re not following his laws; even the “old” ones.

So, anyway, back to celebrating.  As a celebration of how God has changed our marriage, every month for the 7 days of my period Christian and I mini-fast.  We change clothes in the bathroom, we hug, and 10 second kiss, and that’s it.  We use that time to back away from each other and draw closer to God.  During the week I pray that God draw out anything that is standing between God, Christian, and I before the 7th day.  And, so far we’ve had something to talk about every time.  On the 7th day, I take my purity bath, prepare myself for my husband, and become the lioness again – he leads.  And, it’s still amazing sex.  I’ll be honest, life still happens and there are still times when things don’t go quite as we hope they will, but the intimacy is more than I ever could have hoped for.  Glory to God!

Christian’s comments:

I know, husbands, I know.  You’re probably thinking “What? We just started having sex again after thirty days, and now you want us to fast a week every month!” I was thinking the same thing. Believe me when I tell you, as great as the sex is when you stop each month, it’s better when you start again after her period. Treat this short fast as seriously at the 30 day fast. The same rules apply. No sexual activities of any kind.

You will learn so much about one another during that week. It is actually a lot of fun. So be happy in the celebration. You will get so much closer to your wife, that the sex will become even more amazing.

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Day 25: Intoxicating

Posted on June 11, 2011 by Tamar

I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh along with my balsam.  I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.  Eat, friends; Drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers. Song of Solomon 5:1

Nine days left, you’re almost there!  So many things have happened in the last 20 days haven’t they?  God works that way; I love how He manages to make everything fit together so that we learn the things that He wants us to learn in the time that He wants us to learn them.  I’m dedicating this chapter to telling you about Intoxicating love.

Although the physical act of sex was what I always thought I truly wanted, it turns out that the physical intimacy of sex was not what I was searching for; in the end it was never enough.  What I had been searching for was spiritual and emotional intimacy with my husband.  While sex is important and healthy and necessary, it’s only a portion of the picture of marriage.  When we have sex our bodies’ physical need is fulfilled, and with sex our souls and emotions are completely tied into the act of intercourse as well.  But, it’s possible to have physically satisfying intercourse; all while leaving our souls wanting more.  If you’re only having intercourse it can be physically satisfying for you, and your emotions will go along with it, for a time; but after a while you just feel emptier inside, instead of fulfilled.  There’s a look in Christian’s eye that I cherish.  It’s a look of complete adoration and love for me; a look that in an instant tells me how lucky he feels that I’m his wife.  In that instant, I’m emotionally, physically and spiritually connected with him.

So often in our lives we settle for “good” when we could have the “BEST”.  We settle for the “good” sex of the moment, pre-marital sex, self-pleasuring and adultery, instead of continuing to strive for the BEST sex of monogamy; where we can fully and completely give ourselves to one another without the fear of loss or rejection.  I know that’s what Christian and I did.  Instead of waiting for the “ocean” of married sex, we settled for the “pond” of premarital sex.  It wasn’t until we went through this fast, invited God into the marriage and our bedroom, that we experienced intoxicating sex and true intimacy for the first time.  And MY OH MY!  We will NEVER go back!!!  Now prepare yourselves, this next part is a little “R-rated”.  But it’s OK, because God is in it too.

One night while “getting intoxicated” with my Beloved, in that moment of near climax I was marveling at how perfectly his body was… ummm… shall we say… fitting, with mine when I loudly thanked God for creating him for me to enjoy in this way.  God proudly whispered in my ear, “Isn’t he just perfect”.  It was more than I could bear, because he is!  God created my husband just for me.  He created him to balance me perfectly in every possible way.  He created him to chemically and electrically balance me, perfectly.  He created him in a way where our personalities balance each other, perfectly.  Christian is my other half.  And although I’ve had my moments of doubt and frustration with him, the fact still remains.  God made him for me and me for him.  My beloved is mine and I am his.  (Song of Solomon 2:16a)

How can I doubt God’s judgment in putting us together?  He is God after all.  Your husband is the opposite of you in many ways and that can get annoying occasionally but, cherish it because it’s those differences that create the perfect balance between the two of you.  He’s your other half, together you create a whole.

Christian’s comments:

Wow! Is it getting hot in here? Whew!  That pond looked good when we jumped in it. It felt pretty good to swim in too. For a while that is. But there was always something that didn’t seem right. I think about the first time that Tamar and I had sex. It really wasn’t that good. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Let me tell ya though, the first time we made love after our fast it was AMAZING! I would like to imagine that it would have felt like that on our wedding night if we had waited.  I encourage you to hold on and fast for a little while longer. Trust me, it will be worth it.

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Day 21: Threesome

Posted on June 7, 2011 by Tamar

O Magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together. Psalm 34:3

Contrary to what Hollywood is telling us, the Best most intimate sex is not only about the physical connection between two people; it’s a spiritual and emotional connection as well.  Sex connects your souls creating a bond that grows deeper and stronger and better the older that it gets.  Once you have protected yourselves, by taking away the option of divorce, you are free to bare your souls more fully with one another.  By sharing yourselves completely you are only then able to truly make the soul connection that we as human beings were created to have with our spouses.

Two heads are better than one.  As a couple you can do more, be more, love more, and help more; you literally complete each other.  You can lean on each other when you get tired, cheer each other up when you get sad, tend to each other when you get sick, warm each other when you get cold, defend each other when you get attacked, and love each other in spite of your differences.  Alone you are left, tired with no one to lean on, sad with no one to cheer you up, sick with no one to nurse you, cold with no one to warm you, attacked with no one to defend you. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says:

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.  Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?  And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.  A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”

I think the principles from this scripture are perfectly illustrated by the following story.  There once was a father with two bickering sons.  One day, tired of their constant fighting the father gave each of his sons 2 sticks and first instructed them to attempt to break one of them in half; which they each accomplished with ease.  The father replied, “When you bicker and fight you stand alone and are easily broken.”  He then told them to hand him their 2nd sticks and he bundled them together along with his own stick and tied them with a cord.  He handed his oldest son the bundle and told him to try to break it.  He couldn’t do it.  Looking to his sons he said, “When you set aside your differences and work together you are like this bundle of sticks.  When we are tied together as one united group it’s next to impossible to break.”

In these verses from Ecclesiastes it talks about all the ways that two are better than one, and then at the end the number changes from two, to a cord of three strands.  This is a poetic device to draw attention to something.  It makes the reader ask, what’s the third thing?  A man and woman are better together than being alone.  However, we are not yet made complete until the third element is added.  God completes the cord of three strands.

Marriage was originally created to be threefold; God, a husband and a wife, 3 crucial parts to one cord.  If you take any one of those elements out of the marriage you weaken the entire unit.  Just like the sticks in the story, by themselves they are brittle and easily broken, but tied together with the bonds of love they become strong; an unstoppable force.  When we as a society try to re-define God’s original definition of the threefold picture of marriage we not only weaken those marriages themselves but also the society in which they exist.  Every society is built on the strength of the family unit.  When those units begin to break apart the society breaks apart right along with them.

Now, I’m going to say something that may be slightly shocking to some people, so prepare yourselves.  I am going to propose that you invite God, not just into your marriage, but into your bedroom as well.  I know, the thought of it is a little strange, but when you stop to think about it, He invented sex, He’s seen you naked, so what’s so different about acknowledging the fact that He’s there with you and that He *gasp!* approves of what you’re doing. I could go more into detail on this, but I don’t want to get anyone too excited, we’ve still got 12 more days of fasting after all.  So we’ll talk about this more later, at the end of the book.

Christian’s comments:

A triangle is the strongest shape. Husbands, if you are a gear-head like me, you probably watch auto racing. More specifically, stock car racing. If you have watched as much as I have, there’s no doubt that you have noticed the roll cages inside the racecars. They are made up of a whole bunch of triangles. They are built with the strength of triangles to withstand damage from huge crashes.

I’ve also watched a lot of off-road truck racing. The chassis of the trucks are basically a big triangle; strengthened with smaller triangles built into them. They are built this way to withstand the constant beatings the trucks take during races.

When I build a demolition derby car, I build as many triangles into the safety cage as possible. That way, my car can withstand the constant “attacks” from my “enemies” on the track. (For anyone that doesn’t know what a demolition derby is, imagine bumper cars with real vehicles.)

 

You build a triangle when you have God in your marriage. With the three (God, husband, and wife) working together, your marriage can stand up to any big crashes, beatings, and attacks that come along.

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Day 18: Gold

Posted on June 3, 2011 by Tamar

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 1 Peter 1:6-7

Take a break from reading today.  Go outside, if you are able, and spend some time in prayer.  To God your faith and your time with Him are more precious than gold.  Today, be still and know that HE is God.  Get alone and silent and spend time with Him in prayer.  Talk about the things that you trust Him for… and especially the things you don’t and why!  Most of all breathe!  You’re over halfway through!  You can do this my friend!  We’re praying for you!

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