Writing Through the Bible in a Year

Memories

Posted on May 22, 2014 by Tamar


Zechariah 12:1-14:21

“Thus declares the LORD, who stretched out the heavens and founded the earth and formed the spirit of man within him.” Zechariah 12:1

It’s funny, I just sat down all prepared to tell you all about verse five from chapter twelve, “The inhabitants of Jerusalem have strength through the LORD of hosts their God.” And how tired I am, but God is giving me the strength and determination to carry on. But then I opened my computer and the rotating background picture changed to this:

And I knew I wasn’t just going to be writing about how God strengthens us.

Today’s reading was a lot of end time prophecy, things that most of us don’t think about that often, and I was planning on avoiding talking about them. 😉 Mostly, because they’re hard to talk about, partially because they’re hard to understand, but mostly because they scare me. It’s a lot of talk of misery and people suffering and being raped and pillaged, it’s like watching the news, I just don’t want to have my mind filled with these images. But then God gives me this picture and its beautiful message.

It’s not going to last forever.

The pain you’re in, the struggle you’re going through, the heartache you’re experiencing; it’s not going to last forever. Heaven and Earth WILL pass away, but His Word will NEVER pass away – not ever. Period. There is an eternity waiting for us on the other side of death’s door. There is a reality that is more real than our present reality, you’ll see. And the good years there will come and swallow up the bad years so completely that you won’t even be able to tell that the bad years even existed. The only place they will exist is in your memory.

Categories: 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU, Zechariah | Leave a comment

I Will…

Posted on May 21, 2014 by Tamar


Zechariah 7:1-11:17

“Thus says the LORD of hosts; Behold, I will save my people from the east country and from the west country and I will bring them to dwell in the midst of Jerusalem. And they shall be My people, and I will be their God in faithfulness and in righteousness.” Zechariah 8:7-8

This passage sounded so familiar to me when I read it this morning so I went back and looked up some old footage. There’s a good reason it sounded familiar:

Exodus 6:6-8 “Say therefore to the people of Israel, ‘I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment. I will take you to be My people, and I will be your God who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians. I will bring you into the land that I swore to give to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. I will give it to you for a possession. I am the LORD.”

Is it just me or is there a refrain in those two verses? “I will save”, “I will bring”, “I will deliver”, “I will redeem”, “I will be your God” and “I will give it to you”, it’s all about what GOD will do… for YOU. If I’ve learned anything over the last few years it’s that I’m NOT perfect. I’ve learned that no matter what I do, it’s still never good enough for me. No matter how hard I try I will still sin and I will fall oh so short of the glory of God.

BUT

I’ve also learned that it’s not about me. The Bible, life, it’s ALL about Jesus. They’re all about what Jesus said and what Jesus did – for ME. And for YOU.

In Genesis God calls Abram to come out away from his family and everything he’s ever known and follow God wherever He decides to take him. Abraham agrees and he heads out into the unknown territory. (Which, fun fact, just happens to be where his father was headed when he stopped short of his own goal.) Then in Genesis chapter fifteen God takes Abraham out to count the stars and tells him that although childless at the moment, he will have as many descendants as there are stars in the sky and sand on the shore. Then, in order to make sure that Abraham is able to see how serious God is about this promise He has just made, He has Abraham go get a heifer, a goat, a ram, a turtledove and a pigeon and cut them in half. Then to seal the covenant Abraham took the halves of the animals and laid them out on the ground with space between the halves so that a person could walk between them through their blood. This is what’s called a blood covenant, people would do this to symbolize that if one of the parties involved in the covenant didn’t hold up their end of the bargain their fate would be the same as the animals sliced in half. It was kind of like a gory adult version of cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye.

Anyway, the really interesting part of this blood covenant that God makes with Abraham is that when you read Genesis chapter fifteen you’ll notice that God doesn’t make any stipulations on Abraham in order to fulfill His promise to Abraham. All the requirements of the agreement are on God Himself. AND Since there is no higher authority than God, God swears by Himself that He will fulfill ALL the requirements of the covenant in order to fulfill His promise to Abraham to bless him with more descendants than the stars in the sky.

Fast forward to Hebrews chapter nine and I think you’ll find something VERY interesting. “But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent (not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) He entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of His own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption.” (verses 11-12) My friends, God used the blood of a cow, goat, sheep and birds to secure His promise to Abraham and He kept it. How much more faithful do you think He’s going to be to His promises to you when they’ve been secured by the blood of His own SON!?! Hebrews 9:13-14 says, “For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God.” In the Old Testament when someone sinned they had to take their BEST animal and kill it, spilling its blood, as atonement for their sins. That animal sacrifice purified them of that sin until the next time they sinned when they would have to repeat the process. Over and over and over again. Blood was constantly pouring over the altars of Israel as their sins continued. While the blood of those goats and bulls had the power to purify, it didn’t last, it wasn’t strong enough.

BUT GOD had a better plan. The blood of a PERFECT lamb, His Son, offered as a blood sacrifice the propitiation for our sins that justified us by His Grace as a gift through the redemption of Christ Jesus. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in His divine forbearance He had passed over former sins. It was to show His righteousness, at the present time, so that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:24-26) See, again, ALL GOD, no you. GOD is the one who has covered you, God is the one who has justified you and purified you from all your unrighteousness. According to 1 John 4:17 as Jesus is so are we in this world.

In Zechariah 8:7-8 and Exodus 6:6-8 God says, “I will” and leaves nothing for His people to do except receive the things He is promising to do for them. Today God is saying the same thing to you through Christ, “I will deliver you from slavery to the law. I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Law. I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgment on JESUS. I will take you to be My people and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Law. I will bring you into the land of rest that I swore to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob, I will give it to you for a possession. I am the LORD.”

Categories: 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU, Zechariah | Leave a comment

A Wall of Fire All Around

Posted on May 20, 2014 by Tamar


Zechariah 1:1-6:15

“And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the LORD, and I will be the glory in her midst.” Zechariah 2:5

Once upon a time, several years ago, I was awakened in the night with the horrid feeling as though something evil was just outside the wall behind my head. I lay there trembling in fear and praying in the Spirit. Our bedroom is on the corner of our house and there are two roads that intersect on that corner. As I lay there motionlessly praying; I could feel the evil presence move from behind my head and down the first street. Then it stopped at the corner and sat there for a long time, until turning in front of our house and moving on down the street. This was one of my very first experiences like this and to say that it terrified me would be a vast understatement. Even after the presence was long gone I continued to pray, mostly just to calm myself down more than anything. That night, as I lay in my bed, without words or ceremony God showed me something I’ll never forget. He showed me our property, only there was a wall of fire that COMPLETELY encircled our property. And it was in that moment God showed me HIS protection for my family. I had never asked for a wall of fire, I had never done anything to put it there, or deserve it, it’s just there because HE is an all consuming fire and nothing to get through Him to me.

“And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the LORD, and I will be the glory in her midst.” Zechariah 2:5

I don’t remember reading this verse before today, and yet it’s PRECISELY what God showed me that night; a wall of fire all around with HIS glory in the midst.

 

My friends, I had quite a moment yesterday with tears and yelling and a frustrated begging of God to SHOW me that what He’s taught me over this last year is True, and that this life really isn’t about me and what I’m doing but about Him and what He’s done; that while I DO have power over the enemy in this world, GOD has the final say over everything – including the Enemy. And then today, it’s taken me ALL DAY to read today’s Word of the Day, a paragraph at a time, but I did it! Then it’s taking missing the finale of one of my favorite shows to write this post, but I’m doing it. To say I’m frustrated with God’s lack of making these last few days a little easier for me to accomplish this task would be an understatement. If finding time today to do this was hard, making time to do it has been even harder! (Not unlike those last .2 miles of a marathon I’d imagine.) And so just when I’m thinking that God’s not answering my prayer for Him to just deal with the Enemy right now because I just don’t have the energy to do it myself, then He shows me this verse and reminds me of my OWN wall of fire all around.

And the Truth of the matter is that the wall of fire isn’t just around my house, it’s around ME. It’s around me because He is IN me. I have felt more supernatural conflict in the atmosphere today than I have in a very long time, and it hasn’t mattered where I was, it’s been there…especially if I had my Bible in my hand. Satan does NOT want me reading my Bible, because he doesn’t want YOU reading yours. He doesn’t want you to learn its Truths and it he definitely doesn’t want you learning its Words. He doesn’t want you building a relationship with Jesus through His story or through prayer. And he will do ANYTHING that he can to keep you from those things. Anything.

But GOD.

God is the ALMIGHTY. God is the Maker of Heaven and Earth. He is the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end. He was, He is, and He will be. Jesus died for YOU simply because He loves YOU and there’s NOTHING that Satan can do to keep that message from slipping between his slimy little fingers because no matter what darkness does it CAN’T overpower the light! Darkness is simply the absence of light. It’s not even defined by what it is, but rather by what it isn’t. Darkness is defined by the very thing that chases it away and makes it flee in terror. Darkness may make us tremble in fear for but a moment, but it will tremble in fear for all of eternity at the mention of His name; the One, the Way, the Truth and the Life, THE JESUS!

Jesus is our wall of fire; He is our protector and our Savior. He is our confidante and our friend; He is our Beloved and our husband. He is our brother and our LIFE. And while NOTHING in all of creation can separate us from the love that is in Him. There is NOTHING that can separate us from the Darkness better than time with Him. Period. Friends, your life may be hectic. There may be days when you’ll have to miss that favorite show or game. There are going to be times when that time with Jesus is difficult to schedule in – do it anyway. It will be SO worth it!!! He will remind you of everything He’s ever taught you before. He will show you who you are to Him. And He will show you who He is to you. He will open your eyes to things in this world that will knock your socks off. He will because He is the great I Am.

Praise be to God!

 

354 days down, 4 to go. It doesn’t matter if I can do this, I WILL do this. Take that Satan!

Categories: 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU, Zechariah | Leave a comment

Seven Days Left

Posted on May 19, 2014 by Tamar

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Titus 1:1-3:15
“To Titus, my true child in a common faith; Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.” Titus 1:4
I’m going to do something today I haven’t done in months. I’m not going to write.
I had plans for today. Plans to rest and write most of the day. To recover from a VERY long week last week and no Sabbath rest.  Those plans were apparently only MY plans. Like many of my other plans.
I’m not sure if you can hear the sharpness in my voice but I’m really not in the best mood today, and I doubt that I’m alone in that. So although I did not get time to write, I really would have appreciated getting that time and that message.
Friends, I need prayer. I’m seven days, one measly week, from finishing the task I was given. A task that has taken me two and a half years to accomplish. And these last few feet of this race have been the hardest and most gruesome. I am exhausted from this fight and right now I need the cloud of witnesses cheering me on past the finish line. This is no sprint my friends, it’s a marathon and I’m EXHAUSTED! Sheer will power is fueling me right now. That, and YOUR PRAYERS!

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Sunday SHMILY

Posted on May 18, 2014 by Tamar

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2 Timothy 1:1-4:22
“Fulfill YOUR ministry” 2 Timothy 4:5

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Categories: 2 Timothy, 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | Leave a comment

Rejected

Posted on May 17, 2014 by Tamar


1 Timothy 3:1-6:20

“For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.” 1 Timothy 4:4-5

I come before you this morning overwhelmed, my arms heavily laden with massive messages. It’s Saturday and that means it’s time for a book report, and if the first few chapters made us want to run screaming from our insecurities, this one makes you stand and stare at them face to face, eye to eye. I’ll admit to a bit of quivering by the time I finished the allotted reading… and a sigh of relief that God had the foresight to allow us to split this chapter in half! I’d had as much as I could stand.

Today’s word of the day was the second half of 1 Timothy filled with words of wisdom and instructions for godly living. And I had my scriptures all underlined and I knew exactly what I wanted to write about, until I picked up So Long, Insecurity You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us. This chapter is all about digging in the dirt and finding the roots to the bad fruit of Insecurity, and there are several! The ones discussed in today’s reading were:

* Instability in the home

* A significant loss

* Rejection

Instability in your home growing up can certainly be a root of your current insecurity. Whether it was parents who argued, abuse, or even financial instability it’s not too hard to see how these could be the culprits of insecurity.

Beth says on page 65, “At the root of chronic insecurity is often the primal fear that no one will take care of us.” I don’t know about you, but THAT’S a statement that hit me between the eyes! I wasn’t expecting it in the least and the moment my eyes fell on it I felt like she knew me. I don’t remember EVER feeling like that as a child, my parents were awesome. But as an adult…. well that’s another story. I have this strange independence thing going on where I don’t want other people taking care of me, that I can do it myself. But I’m preeetty sure that that stems from a fear that they wouldn’t take care of me if I gave them the opportunity. So I’ve made it a point to take care of myself instead, making my fear null and void. Except, I CAN’T do everything. I can’t be everywhere. I can’t live up to my own expectations for myself, which makes me feel like a complete failure most of the time. Sooooo, I’m thinking that that tactic doesn’t really work very well for alleviating the fear, but rather just dresses it up in pretty dresses and calls it something else – independence. It’s still a fear of not being taken care of – aka insecurity.

But then at the end of the section Beth comes in with a verse that hit the proverbial nail on the head with such accuracy it’s comforting. “Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I
will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 NCV No matter how little we trust our fellow man to care for us, no matter how orphaned we may feel from our parents, God is always there. He will always be there to care for us, even if we don’t want His care. He MADE you and will take care of you. He will carry you and save you. It’s right there in scripture, His word, written down for all time as a promise to His people – you. And God never breaks His promises.

Significant loss was a section I didn’t expect to relate to that much, until I read it! Beth says on page 71 that, “Insecurity can result from a broken attachment of ANY kind, even one that seems relatively minor to others. If it translated as something huge to your heart, it is huge to God on your behalf. Before we move on, remember to always think broadly when you’re trying to analyze losses and their links to your insecurity. Even the loss of face or respect through some kind of public shame can have an immense impact. Wondering if everybody hates you takes no small toll on your soul.” BOY CAN I RELATE TO THAT!!!!! I have had more public humiliations in these last four years of writing than I think I ever had when I was growing up! And while I don’t think everyone hates me, I do certainly wonder if anyone likes me! It’s a constant question in my brain and my heart, perhaps you can relate.

Rejection: And now we get to the section where I hit my knees, rejection. All those public humiliations have taken their toll and most if not all have been received as rejection. On page 72 Beth says, “Nothing shouts a more convincing lie about our personal value than rejection, and it can reverberate with deafening pitch from any direction. Anywhere there is relationship, there is potential for rejection. … it is entirely possible to perceive that we’ve been rejected when we haven’t.” Wow! I mean really, WOW! And YES! Over the last few years of stepping into the field of ministry I have felt the sting of rejection with the best of them. My most painful have been when I have scheduled events on MULTIPLE occasions where no one showed up. And I don’t mean, where just a few people showed up and I’m calling them “no one”, I mean zero, zip, zilch, nada, NONE. One of the most brutal was when I scheduled a family movie night for the church. It was the first Friday of December and we were going to show Polar Express. I had hot cocoa and popcorn all ready. I had done all the legwork in advance, I had posted it in the church newsletter, the bulletin, I had even hand delivered invitations to parents standing in line after church to pick up their children from Sunday school. And yet in a church with literally THOUSANDS of members, many of them parents with young children, NO ONE, not one came to see the movie. I had felt so led by God to offer this service to the youth and parents in our church, I sowed as many seeds as I possibly could, but saw no harvest of interest. That night I left my family in the movie room and went into a darkened part of the church and cried in the lonely halls. I could understand why none of them had come to the Sunday school class I had tried to start for them, fear of commitment and study. But something fun like a movie with no commitment and no background study or time, just show up and watch a movie with your church family and not one single other family shows up? Talk about feeling rejected!

That wasn’t the first no show event of mine and it certainly wasn’t the last, by far! But it is one of the best examples of my experiences thus far with ministry. Seriously, tell me how I could walk out of a situation like that and NOT feel at least a small amount of rejection from my peers? I’ve constantly questioned what’s wrong with me? Why am I so unable to schedule events that people will show up to? My current solution, I’ve stopped scheduling them. Is that wrong? I don’t know. But it’s what I’ve got to do at the moment because I simply can’t bear that pain anymore. I’ve been hurt too many times by the ones I’m pouring my soul into, and if anything I just need a break from the heartache.

And yet, today, as I’m going through it all again, and boxing it all up to give over to Jesus; He showed me the cross. Who better to go to with this pain? Who on this earth knows rejection better than Jesus? He gives and He gives and He gives and we reject and we shun and we doubt. We spit at His efforts and we throw stones at His heart of love and acceptance and yet He stays there on that cross with arms open wide in love ready to welcome us home into His heart whenever we’ve exhausted ourselves enough to go there.

Thank You Jesus! You’re the BEST!

Categories: 1 Timothy, 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU | Leave a comment

The Worm

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Tamar


2 Thessalonians 1:1-3:18 & 1 Timothy 1:1-2:15

I am afflicted and I beg for relief. I am so helpless. I am a worm on a sidewalk about to be stepped on. I can’t move fast enough to avoid my own mortal doom. I’m voiceless so I can’t scream out for help or for the foot to stop its stomping towards me. I have no defenses, nothing, I can only lie there and wait for the foot to crush me.

But it never comes. The trembling earth beneath me is still.

Why?

How?

The foot belongs to someone who has eyes to see and a heart that is merciful to worms like me. Instead of a crushing stomp I receive a lifting hand, a palm of grace and mercy, a soothing voice of gentleness, a soft placing into green pastures near still waters away from harm and the fear of imminent death.

Though a mere wriggling slimy worm, deserving of nothing, I am cherished in the gardener’s hands, valued for me work of eating, tunneling and even pooping. In the gardener’s watchful care I am tended and protected from the early birds, hungry for blood. He shoos them away. In the gardener’s care I am not worthless. In the Gardener’s eyes I am priceless, irreplaceable, valuable though I am still a worm, he makes me feel like more. Much more.

“God considers it just to… grant relief to you who are afflicted” 2 Thessalonians 1:6&7

Categories: 1 Timothy, 2 Thessalonians, 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU | Leave a comment

Ten More Days

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Tamar


1 Thessalonians 1:1-5:28

“For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus as His coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy.” 1 Thessalonians 2:19-20

Ok, first things first, I need to do a little happy dance and celebrate. Just like my daughter whose first words this morning were sleepily, “four more days until my birthday”. My first words to you today are, “ten more days until I’ve read through the entire Bible!!!!!” I have been wanting to and trying to do this my entire life and I’ve never done it. I dedicated the last two and a half years of my life to reading through the Bible Alphabetically in a year and in TEN SHORT DAYS I will have done it!!!!! But I haven’t done it alone. I NEVER could have done it without you guys! Knowing that you’re reading and keeping track of my progress keeps me on track and making progress. You inspire me to do my best and be my best, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me! Thank you, from the uttermost depths of my soul, thank you for joining me on this journey! You may not have read the Bible with me, you may not have made it through all my thousand plus words of blogging, but you’re there and that makes such a huge difference for me! You have no idea! YOU are so important to me. Having someone to talk to along this path has kept me from going insane. You’ve helped me process all the massive amounts of information I’ve been blessed with along the way.

Oh, and fear not, just because I will be “done” with reading through the Bible doesn’t mean I’m DONE reading through the Bible and blogging about it. No, this is just the beginning. There was a time when I toyed with the idea of putting it all down and being DONE, but I know that there’s simply no way that I can. Helping others is the best way to help yourself. You’ve kept me from spiraling into a lonely depression on many occasions. Your presence on the other end of this line has kept me from giving it all up and calling it quits on doing my daily reading.

No, there’s no way that I can give up breathing, this – reading through the Bible every day and then writing about it – this is my oxygen mask. It’s the air that I breathe to keep me going through serving my family and the long lines of customers I serve at our local Dollar General store*. It’s funny, I feel very much like a bar tender there. As I ask how their day is going, 95% of the time they actually tell me! In fact there’s one lady, we’ll call her “June”, her situation could really use our prayers at the moment. Her husband is “shacking up” with his pregnant mistress in a TENT right now. L And every time this lady comes in she has to tell me about how it’s going. She has a desperate need to take care of him, even though he’s shattered her heart. She loves him, pregnant mistress and all. It’s honestly beautiful and sad all at the same time. Pray for them, they ALL need Jesus.

Then there’s another of my regulars who is, by far, one of my biggest supporters. He found me in the Hamilton County Reporter (which you can subscribe to online here). He came in and told me yesterday that he cut out the piece I wrote on the Holy Spirit (he doesn’t know I’ve written about the Holy Spirit more times than I can count). He said he keeps it in his Bible and prays the prayer every morning before his devotions.

My God is too good to me friends. He’s given me multiple platforms from which to speak at the exact same moment, the exact same message of His love and Grace and forgiveness. Several years ago, shortly after, or maybe it was before, accepting my call into ministry God led me through His word and taught me about death. We take nothing with us, nothing except the memories of this life and the people we’ve brought to Christ. Today’s verse was part of that Word Search. “For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at His coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy.”

My friends, I may never have met you in person or shaken your hand. I may never have laid eyes on your face, but that doesn’t mean that you mean nothing to me. You are my hope and joy and crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at His coming. As I believe I am yours. It has been so easy for me to feel like this is a one-sided relationship since so many of you don’t comment or talk back when you read. But I’ve got enough of you out there commenting, either here or elsewhere, letting me know that you’re out there and that you are following along. Just knowing you’re there pushes me forward, striving toward the goal, continuing on in the race of life. YOU mean the world to me! You’ve helped me do something I’ve been trying to accomplish my entire life and have failed, until I had YOU to help me. Thank you ever so much for being here and silently cheering me on to the finish line!

Ten more days my friends. Then I take a celebratory rest and start all over again. And I can hardly wait!!!!!

 

*Thinking of YOU Aunt Cynthia! I wanted to call, or even email, but I simply don’t have time at the moment. Things have been CRAZY busy! But I would really love to call you soon!!!!! How about we both pray for it and God will help us coordinate the time. J I love you!!!!

Categories: 1 Thessalonians, 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU | Leave a comment

He was There

Posted on May 13, 2014 by Tamar


Song of Solomon 5:10-8:14

“This is my beloved, and this is my friend.” Song of Solomon 5:16

It’s funny, when I picked out this verse I had forgotten how familiar it was. It wasn’t until I wrote it down that I realized that it’s the verse that many Christian couples choose to put on the front of their wedding program. It’s funny, all those times I read those programs and I didn’t even realize that it was scripture I was reading, I just liked the idea of someone not just being your lover but your friend as well. Now I understand why. J

To think back on that day, the day when we joined as husband and wife, it seems like a distant dream. Like it happened, but yet, if we didn’t have the pictures and the video I would think that perhaps it had all been a dream. It’s only been fourteen years this June, but still, it’s been awhile! It was a really awesome day, it was the day I married my best friend.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was. He was just my friend at that point. Then he became my husband, my partner and my provider. I didn’t realize then what I know now. He would become my BEST friend. I’ve spent over half my life with this man by my side. He is the one person in the whole world who has been with me through more than anyone else, even my parents. He knows more about me than anyone.

Anyone.

Two weeks after our honeymoon when I slashed my thumb with a brand spankin’ new table knife while trying to pry open a frozen bagel, he was right there with a bandage and support… and advice about stitches. When I lay on a hospital bed, nine months pregnant having a seizure, he was there with the nurses. While I spent the rest of the day in a dark room with pitocin IVs hanging from my arms he sat in a chair by the window trying to read baby name books by the light through the crack in the curtain. I don’t remember him really moving from that post until he had to get ready for the surgery. When money got tight after the baby was born he went back to school to learn a new trade so that he could take better care of us. When I went on bed rest at 34 weeks with baby number two, he was there with McDonald’s M&M McFlurries, a spoon and a blood pressure cuff. When we moved two weeks before the baby was born he was the one who carried all the boxes and put things away. When that baby had to have surgery at age two because she was basically deaf, he was right there in the waiting room with me making me laugh the fear away. Even now as I’m watching her struggle in school, lagging behind her peers by almost exactly the same amount of time that she couldn’t hear, he’s right by my side coming up with just the right answers to each situation. He’s there in the morning when I need help deciding which shirt to wear to work and what groceries to pick up at the store. He’s there because on that day when we got married that’s what he promised to do. He promised to be there for me for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. And he has been every step of the way. That’s a friend. That’s a husband. That’s a partner. He’s so much more than a Beloved, he’s a friend.

“No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

 

Categories: 365 Life, Jesus Loves YOU, Song of Songs | Leave a comment

Beautiful Mess

Posted on May 12, 2014 by Tamar


Song of Solomon 1:1-5:9

“Behold, you are beautiful, my Beloved, truly delightful.” Song of Solomon 1:16

OK, so I was supposed to be writing my review of Chapter 4 of Beth Moore’s So Long, Insecurity You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us on Saturday… but I forgot. I was inspired after watching Mom’s Night Out to write a Mother’s Day post, so sue me. 😉 (Seriously, Go watch that movie!!!!!) So I’m writing my review of Chapter 4 “Good Company” today instead.

I have to admit, I was a little overwhelmed when I first picked up my Bible and read the first half of Song of Solomon. Not that I haven’t read it before, I actually spent a decent amount of time in that book while writing True Intimacy with my husband. But it’s been a LOOOONG time since I’ve cracked open those pages and I’d forgotten how… steamy they were. Wooo! Those pages are not for the faint of heart are they friends? And then I picked up Beth Moore’s book and SHE was talking about sex too! Freaky!

Chapter 4: Good Company is all about the people in the Bible that show insecurity through their words and actions: Eve and her choice of fig leaves, Sarah and her choice of allowing Abraham to take her handmaiden as a wife, Leah and Rachel in their baby battle over Jacob’s heart, Moses and his insecurity over the role God chose for him to play in the salvation of His people, Saul and his insecurity over the role God chose for him to play in the ruling of His people, Paul and his insecurity in his status as an apostle (no doubt because of his previous role in the persecution of the other apostles). The list went on and on.

If at the end of Chapter 3 I was chattering my teeth in fear of the insecurities I was sure I had; by the end of Chapter 4 I was raising my sword and shouting a battle cry over them. I am not alone in the camp of insecurity! And what’s even more amazing to me is the role that insecurity has played throughout the lives of many of the founders of our faith.

Our spiritual ancestors have struggled with this very same enemy. Some didn’t fare so well, but others, like Paul, conquered this enemy with ruthless abandon. On page 54 Beth says that, “Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or somebody is going to be taken from them.” Paul was a BIG name in the synagogues of his time. He persecuted the early Christ followers with such ferocity that his name was almost synonymous with death. If you knew Paul was after you, you cringed in fear. Period. He was ruthless.

But then one day Jesus appeared to him on the road to Damascus and literally knocked him off his high horse. Jesus asked him why he was persecuting Jesus. And it was in that moment that Paul saw the error of his ways. He immediately turned from the persecution of the Church and became a member of the Church. He became an apostle and began going through the countryside preaching the name of Jesus. People were stunned by the change in his attitude toward Christ. Here’s this guy who had been out to kill anyone who taught in Jesus’ name, now he’s out teaching in Jesus’ name! Paul brought many many many people to salvation through Christ. But his past followed him.

While he had seen the error of his ways and had changed, people were very wary of him. Understandably so! But his past mistakes certainly played a part in his future security among the apostles. If you look at 2 Corinthians 11:5 he calls them “super-apostles” and affirms that he is in no way inferior to them. His mere defense of his position points us in the direction of assuming that he himself is fearful of his inferiority to them!

In the same way, our past can certainly play a HUGE role in our present insecurities. But it doesn’t have to! Our past can cry out to us from behind and beg for our attention. It can claim to us that we have shortcomings because of it, but WE have the choice to decide whether we’re going to listen to our past or not. It’s like Beth says on page 57, “The beauty of Paul wasn’t his superhumanity but his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings and fears over ride his faith. Like us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself.”

We each have a destiny to fulfill. God has created you for a PURPOSE, you have a calling. Moses was called to be God’s tongue, in SPITE of his “slowness of speech”. God CHOSE Moses. Moses was God’s first choice for the job. God believed in Moses’ ability to do what God called him to do because that’s what God had CREATED him to do. It was Moses who didn’t believe in himself. (See Exodus 3:1-4:17)

God CHOSE Saul. Saul was God’s first choice to be the first king of Israel. But when Saul’s coronation day came he was nowhere to be found! When they consulted the LORD as to his whereabouts they discovered that he was hiding in the baggage! Saul didn’t believe in himself and his own ability to be king. His own insecurity of his ability to be king was amplified even more when David came around and started winning battles and inspiring women to sing songs. Saul’s insecurity became such a problem for him that he literally lost his mind over it. Saul allowed his insecurity to incapacitate his ability to do what God had called him to do.

One of my favorite quotes from Paul is 1 Corinthians 15:10 “by the grace of God I am what I am. And His grace towards me is not in vain.” Paul never forgot what he had done to his fellow man. But he never let it stop him from achieving everything that God had called him to do either. God’s grace, His LOVE, covers over a multitude of sins. We make mistakes. It’s part of being human! But just because we’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean that we should give up the farm! God has called you to something that He made you for. He CHOSE you for a special task that you would be the only person fully suited to accomplish it. Sure, someone else can do it, but should they? We can’t let our shortcomings stop us from believing in ourselves enough to push forward and accomplish the goal that God has set for us to accomplish. I think Beth says it beautifully on page 57 when she says, “Human flesh and blood have no weakness so strong that God’s strength is made weak.”

Hallelujah sister, YES!

I’m sorry folks, but there is nothing in me that is strong enough to undo what Jesus has done for me! There is no weakness in me, no insecurity so strong that can overpower the power of Christ through me! Jesus paid it ALL. And while flesh and bone may fail, Jesus doesn’t.

My friend, you may be a mess, but you are a BEAUTIFUL mess with a beautiful message! You may be going through a massive test, but you will have a massive testimony! YOU are the Beloved of God Almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth and nothing in all of creation can separate you from the Grace that is in Christ Jesus. And it is by the Grace of God that you are what you are! You are CALLED, checkered past and all. You are CHOSEN, messy weaknesses and all. You are LOVED with a ferocity that is beyond any and all human comprehension. You are BEAUTIFUL to Him who called you. You need only to BELIEVE IT FOR YOURSELF! Be unwilling to let your weaknesses, feelings and fears over ride your faith. Be unwilling to let the worst of you get the best of you! God created you to be more than a conqueror! So go out there and conquer!

Categories: 365 Life, Insecurity, Jesus Loves YOU, Song of Songs | Leave a comment

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