Give that Hat a Rest!

Isaiah 26:1-29:10

“For the bed is too short to stretch oneself on, and the covering too narrow to wrap oneself in.” Isaiah 28:20

I have so many things that vie for my attention day in and day out and trying to figure out which ones are truly worthy of my time is a hard thing to do. There are so many opportunities that come around that look great and sound fun, but is it something that I should do? When I look at my calendar square, is there enough room left to fit it in? Not usually.

When we as mothers overbook ourselves we aren’t just cheating ourselves, we’re cheating everyone else around us too. When we’re overbooked, we get stressed far too easily, which we then take out on our kids, husbands and even our friends. As Christian mothers it becomes so hard to turn someone away when they ask something of us because, well, “it’s the Christian thing to do to help your neighbor”. We look to the Proverbs 31 woman and all the things that she did and think, “that’s how I’m supposed to be”. But the truth about that woman that we fail to see is that while she was getting all those things done, she wasn’t doing them all at the same time!

God told me yesterday, “You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. But you DON’T have to do all things for all people all the time! It’s OK to just say ‘No’.”

Eve was created at the end of the sixth day of creation. Do you know what God had her do first? Rest. The seventh day of creation was the Sabbath day of rest. If that doesn’t show you how important rest is to God I don’t know what will!

As moms we rush around like chickens with our heads cut off, slurping down buckets of coffee to keep us going, and all we want is a NAP! But instead we chug back another café mocha espresso and clean the entire house instead, because you know, what if someone comes over and sees that my house isn’t perfect! Oh no! Trust me, I’m just as guilty as the rest of you, well, at least I was anyway. But now there’s a reason why I write a weekly article called, “Not the Perfect Mom”! It’s because I’ve discovered that perfection is an absolutely unattainable goal. And while it’s not like I don’t still strive for it, because oh how I do! But I don’t let my lack of perfection drag me down in my opinion of myself anymore.

OK, so if you were to drive past my house right now, you’d see PLENTY of weeds in my flower beds… and no flowers for that matter. I am NOT a gardener. But if you were to come into my amazingly messy house, you would be loved and fed and given a cold drink (or hot if you preferred).

I have spent wasted so much of my life worrying about what other people thought of me and trying to live up to the standards that I thought other people had for me and you know where it’s gotten me? NOWHERE! It made me horribly frustrated and sad because I couldn’t EVER do it no matter how hard I tried. The standards we hold ourselves to are absolutely ridiculous. We run ourselves ragged filling our schedules with all kinds of activities to keep us busy so that we can avoid the fact that we’re not perfect. We commit to things just because it will make someone else happy, and sometimes that’s OK. But sometimes it’s really not. Sometimes too much is just that, too much.

As women we wear a million and one hats, but at some point we collect so many hats that most of the hats go without a head more often than not. If you’re head’s not in the hat, is it a hat you really should be wearing? Or, is it perhaps, a hat that was made for someone else to wear and by you keeping it you’re denying their blessing of wearing the hat that was made for them.

It’s OK to say ‘No”. You don’t have to do all things, for all people, all the time.

Most days many of your goals for the day won’t be met, and you know what? That’s OK too. Give yourself permission to be HUMAN. Give yourself permission to skip the coffee and take the nap so that you can wake up RESTED enough to be a fun mom again.

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | Leave a comment


Isaiah 22:1-25:12

According to the Weight Watchers I’m not skinny enough. According to the McDonald’s I’m not eating enough. According to the fashion industry I’m not buying enough. According to the hair salon I’m not dying my hair enough. According to Pinterest I’m not crafty enough. According to the mom blogs I’m not doing enough with my kids. According to my daughter’s school I’m not reading with her enough. According to my son I’m not nice enough. According to the white glove test I’m not cleaning my home enough. According to my neighbors I’m not landscaping my yard enough. According to Cover Girl I’m not pretty enough. According to Nike I’m not running enough. According to Victoria Secret I’m not sexy enough. According to the Church I’m not holy enough. According to my bank I’m not rich enough. According to my calendar I’m not doing enough. According to my gas tank I’m not full enough. According to my greasy hair I’m not clean enough. According to my kitchen I don’t cook enough. According to my laundry I don’t wash enough. According to my dog I don’t play enough.

According to the human standards of this world, we will NEVER be enough. Not ever. We have voices from all different directions at all different times telling us over and over and over that we aren’t enough _______. And last night as I was brushing my teeth getting ready for bed I heard, “According to your dentist you’re not brushing/flossing enough.” And my heart fell. Yet another failure in my epically long list of failures just today. And then the Holy Spirit piped in, “I am the ONLY one in your life that tells you that you are enough. Your faith in Jesus declares that you are enough. In fact, it declares that you are just right just the way that you are.” I stood up with a smile on my face. Thank You Lord that in this world where I will never measure up to anyone’s standards, including my own, You are my refuge and my strength. I thank You that in this life where I am surrounded by messages telling me that I’m not enough, You have sent me a message telling me that I don’t have to be. That because of Your Son Jesus, fulfilling ALL the requirements of the Law for me, I don’t have to fulfill any of them and I can still be acceptable in Your sight.

According to the Law if I fail in one tiny aspect of it I have failed ALL of it. Jesus fulfilled ALL of it so that I don’t have to fulfill even one tiny aspect of it! Hallelujah!

Does that mean I don’t ever try to be a good person or do the right thing? No! Of course not. What it means is that I don’t beat myself up, or let anyone else beat me up, for falling short of their idea of what perfection looks like.

In 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 it says:

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this; that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is in Christ God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

The love of Christ has the power to control us! When we fully receive the love that Jesus poured out on that cross and we grasp the full forgiveness that has taken place, we are COMPELLED to good works! We are inspired to do the right thing without anyone telling us what that thing is. When we come to fully stand in His marvelous light of Grace we can’t help but tell others of the forgiveness that is in Christ Jesus, we can’t help but cut out the drinking and the adultery and the vileness. Why? Because the Love of Christ tells us that we’re better than that. The Love of Christ empowers us to do things we couldn’t ever do on our own. The Love of Christ fills us up inside to such a full measure that we have no trouble measuring up to God’s NEW standard.

A few days ago, in The Stars, I talked about the Law and how God gave the Law to show humanity what the standard is for being “like God”. (Genesis 3:5) In the gospel of Matthew chapter five Jesus opens up our eyes to the full purity and perfection of the Law.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.” (21-26)

Not only is it against the Law to murder, it’s against the Law to even be ANGRY! Is that even humanly possible??? No! And that’s the whole point! (Jesus keeps going in Matthew if you need to read more.) It is humanly impossible to follow the letter of the Law. That’s probably why Jesus prefaced this sermon with, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.” (Matthew 5:17-18)

Not even the tiniest Hebrew letter (iota) or the smallest grammatical mark (dot) will disappear from the Law until heaven and earth pass away. Have heaven and or earth passed away? No. So how can this be? Simple. Look back at the end of Jesus’ message on murder and holding things against your brother. According to the Law (which is still in practice) if you are found guilty you must be put in prison “until you have paid the last penny”.

Here’s a great example of the Law that God just gave me. You know those motorized horses at the front of the grocery store? Meijer has Sandy. We LOVE Sandy. In order to make Sandy move and take you for a ride you have to put a penny into the machine. If you want to keep riding you put in another penny. Simple.

OK, the Law is like Sandy. The Law, in its perfection, requires payment in order to receive the full benefits of being a Child of God. So God instituted animal sacrifice so that humans had a method of payment in order to ride. Except, not one could pay; sin is expensive – so expensive that we run out of pennies before we’re ever even born.

Jesus, through His sacrifice on the cross is like a never ending supply of pennies. Instead of humanity never getting to ride Sandy because they’ve run out of pennies, He stands there with His pockets full allowing us to just keep on riding while He just keeps putting in pennies. No, I take that back, because in reality, it’s even better than that! It’s really more like He puts in a special coin that only He has that just turns the machine on… and then it stays on… forever. And we never have to get off the ride of our lives because Jesus has paid it all, once and for all.

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | 2 Comments

Simply Overwhelming

Isaiah 16:8-21:17

I’m speechlessly standing in awe of the ferocity of God’s Grace and His abundance of love for us. For me. It’s simply overwhelming.

I’ve been wandering through the house, cleaning and doing laundry as I’ve pondered today’s reading and the dream I had last night and how they seem so interlocked and yet completely separate from each other. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to start today’s post and couldn’t come up with anything. I read one of my devotionals in my email and it talked about sacrificing hearing from God for our works. This one really hit me. How much have I been doing this lately? I’ve been concentrating so hard on doing things for God that I haven’t been really thinking that much about just hanging out with God, you know, just talking with Him. Sometimes, that’s OK, life requires that we move quickly. But at least once in awhile we’ve got to stop all the madness and check in with Love Himself. And it made me realized that I couldn’t remember the last time that I had lay down and spent some serious time praying and soaking in the Love of Christ. Suddenly, I realized that I really miss Him. So I walked away from the computer and my Bible and, yes, even my phone (gasp) and I went into my bedroom to pray. I told Him that I had come in, hoping for answers to my questions, but yet above that I had come in just to be with Him. I then poured out my heart to Him, everything that had been on my mind, all my questions, fears and worries; even my frustrations and the things in the last few days that had really bugged me. I didn’t realize how bottled up I had been until it all came pouring out one thing after another. The whole time He said nothing, He just sat there intently listening. He loves to listen to me talk.

Then, when I had emptied myself of words, He showed me a picture of a scroll filled with a lifetime list of sins that unrolled and ran the entire length of His throne room, out the door and out of sight. He held the scroll up and said, “When Jesus was crucified, had you been born yet?”

“No” I replied.

“If you hadn’t been born had you committed any of these crimes against the kingdom yet?”

“No” I replied.

“Yet you believe that Jesus died on that cross to pay for these sins correct?”

“Yes, with my whole heart.”

“Your whole heart? Really? Interesting.” And then He opened up His book to Romans 3:22-26

“For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by His blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in His divine forbearance He had passed over former sins. It was to show His righteousness at the present time, so that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”

God held out His book to me and pointed to the phrase, “passed over former sins”. He said to me, “Tell Me, if I was able and willing to pass over the sins people committed before Jesus died am I then not able or willing to do it for those sins that have not yet been committed? Am I, being an eternal God, not able to see them all from here on my throne outside of time and space? No My dear, it is only you that can not see your future sins. I have already seen them and have already forgiven them.”

And as He spoke the word “forgiven”, the blood of Jesus ran down the scroll from top to bottom erasing each and every black mark that had scarred the perfect white parchment. All the way from the top to the bottom, the marks that my life had written, were erased, forgotten; to be remembered no more.

“My Beloved children, if I remember your sins no more, why do you? If I hold them against you no longer, why do you? If I see you as white as this scroll, then why can’t you? When will you realize that I’ve made you new? It’s not a process, it’s already finished. The process is you renewing your mind and learning how to live in this new Life of Light and Love. Take hold of every thought and bring it into the captivity of Christ. Hold every thing up to the Light of My word. Do you know what that means? It means pair everything up with a scripture. My book is filled with My promises for My people, look them up! Read the stories, study the meanings, learn My Truths and throw out the many many many lies of religion and the world.

Life isn’t about you. It’s all about Me. It’s always been about Me and it will always be about Me, I’m God. Period. When you read the Bible you will find story after story about person after person. The Bible isn’t about those people. It’s about ME and My activity and presence in the lives of those people, My people. What I was willing and able to do for them, pass over their sins, I am absolutely willing and able to do for you.

Think about it for just a minute. If I was willing to give them forbearance on their sins until Christ had died, how much more do you think I am willing to give you credit for His sacrifice???

My precious one, I stand outside of time and look at all of it. As far as I’m concerned it’s all already happened. You stand on the inside of time. You can only see things from the moment you’re standing in. Think about this, What happened to you three years ago looks a lot differently now than it did when it happened or even two years ago. Your perspective changes as time goes by. Mine never does, because I never move. I am the same yesterday, today and forever. You change constantly, with every breath your cells die and multiply, your hair falls out and grows in, your tastes are always changing, everything about you in is in a state of constant change. But I never do, just your opinion of Me and My ways.

My lovely, you have always been forgiven. You may have been conceived in sin, but you were born forgiven. Even Abraham couldn’t say that. When you were a child, you thought like a child and reasoned like a child and believed everything that everyone told you. Now you are grown and thinking for yourself. Think on this. Are you to the point in time where you are able to accept this Truth? You have been redeemed, you have been made new, and you are a NEW creation in Christ. Are you ready to live in that Light? Are you ready to grasp onto that Truth and never let go no matter how hard the Accuser tries to convince you otherwise? There is no greater truth than My love for you through the sacrifice and forgiveness of Jesus, if you cling to that Truth your face will never be covered with shame. There is no greater picture of My love for you than His blood dripping down the cross and the stone rolled away from the empty grave. I think Paul summarizes it best in 1 Corinthians 13:13 ‘So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.’ A mustard seed of faith can move a mountain, and hope can get you through some really rough times, but My Love is the only thing that can save you. My Love for you is greater than anything else you could ever hope, dream or imagine. My Love for you goes so much farther than you could ever think possible.

You think that being completely forgiven is so huge, too huge, unbelievable; you know nothing. My Love for you surpasses anything you could ever do against Me. My Love for you supersedes anything that Satan could throw in your path. My Love for you is higher than any obstacle that you could ever encounter. My Love for you is wider than any gap that could span between us, even the one you have built up in your mind. My Love can reach you wherever you are. My Love can forgive any wrong you could ever commit. My Love can, has, and will continue to redeem you. REST assured that your salvation, your blessings, your calling, your provision, your future, your life, your possessions, your family, your everything, is secure in My hands. YOUR name is engraved in the palms of My hands written with the tips of nails, I couldn’t forget you even if I tried. No one, not even you, can snatch you from My hands. So lie down and sleep in peace, because I alone, the LORD, make you dwell in safety.”

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | Leave a comment

Baby Teeth

Isaiah 12:1-16:7

“When the LORD has given you rest from your pain and turmoil and the hard service with which you were made to serve, you will take up this taunt against the king of Babylon.” Isaiah 14:3

As I prayed last night before I fell asleep, I asked God if a year of rest from the tormentors and the Enemy’s minions was even possible. A whole year where everything in life was hunky dory. Where we would have enough money for everything we needed AND a lot of what we wanted, no on got sick, the ministry would go well, books would sell, Sean and I would take joy in our jobs and the kids would love their teachers and do well in school. I would be skinnier and more outwardly beautiful so that my husband would desire me above all others, without any extra effort on my own part. The house would stay clean because EVERYONE would keep it that way, instead of just me. The yard would stay perfectly mowed and landscaped. The weeds wouldn’t even bother coming up because they knew they would just be pulled anyway.

It may all sound silly when put together in this way, but it’s true. It’s what I want. I’d probably be bored to tears in the first month and a half, but wouldn’t it be nice not to have to be in a constant battle against something? I mean, there’s ALWAYS something going on, or not going on as the case may be. And depending on the circumstances there are even things that go on only in our heads while everything else around us is perfectly fine.

That is why I have latched onto this scripture today. It doesn’t say “If” the LORD has given you rest from your pain and turmoil… It says, WHEN the LORD has given you rest. It’s not a matter of if it will happen, it’s as certain as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. We never have any doubts that the sun will fail in performing it’s daily dance through the sky, yet we doubt if God will be faithful in performing the things He has said He would do.

Hmmm… I no more than finished writing that and my six year old came up to me and asked if I would wiggle her top front tooth that is loose and juuuust about to come out. My friend Tammy has been giving her a hard time and telling her that she shouldn’t lose her tooth because she would get in trouble. She would get in trouble for losing her library book, or her special toys, so why wouldn’t she get in trouble for losing her tooth? God put it in there for a reason didn’t He?

Well, just now as I was wiggling her tooth she and I were telling my son about the things Tammy has been telling her and he countered it with, “Yes, but God is taking her tooth out to make room for a bigger one.” Well, said my son!

My friends, what if these battles in life that shake us are like baby teeth! They’re there in order to hold a spot in our life for a while, so that when the adult baby tooth starts to come in it will have a space in our life. There’s a period of time when the baby tooth is shaky and no longer permanently fixed in our heads. It’s loose in order to give us a little time to get used to the idea of things changing in our lives. Then the day comes and it falls out completely, leaving a gaping open space in our lives that seems empty and barren and maybe even a little bloody and raw. But it certainly doesn’t stay that way for long does it? Before we know it that adult tooth starts filling in the gaping hole with it’s shiny white newness and amazing strength.

Maybe the things that are shaking and unstable in our lives right this very moment have just been placed there as a baby tooth. Something to help us learn how to eat solid meat and it’s just the right size for our baby sized thinking, but now it’s time that we grew up a bit more. So the baby thing starts shaking and wiggling and scaring the bajeepers out of you because it’s certainly never wiggled like that before. And you might even have an Aunt Tammy who’s teasing you and making you think that it’s not OK to lose your tooth!

Lord, there ARE things in my life that are shaking and wiggling loose and it is terrifying me. And I do have someone in my life that is taking full advantage of those uncertainties and taunting me with them. Please help me to see that it’s all going to be OK and to know what things I need to let go of. Help me to live with my hands open and not clenched in fear of losing the things that I don’t need to be holding onto. Help me to be a little more like Anna. She’s not afraid to lose her tooth, she’s excited about it enough to ask for help in wiggling it. And that’s what I’m doing today Lord. Please help me wiggle this lose tooth and get it the rest of the way out so that my new tooth can come in and fill the gap, steady and solid and stable. Please come and steady my heart Lord as this huge transition in my life approaches. I’ve started new jobs before and I can do it again. Help me to remember that through the power of Your Holy Spirit I can do everything You call me to do. ALL of it! Please help me quiet the voices trying to frighten me into thinking that this transition is a bad thing instead of a good thing. I know that You are in it and that tells me that it’s good for me, no matter what.

Lord, thank You for always being with me and never leaving me or forsaking me in my weaknesses. I trust You Lord, even when I don’t fully understand what You’re doing or why. I love You Lord, please let Your perfect love come in and cast out all my fear.! In Jesus’ name. Amen!

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | 2 Comments

From Darkness into Light

Isaiah 8:1-11:16

The scriptures in today’s Word of the Day all hit really close to home for me. Starting with the very first sentence; “Take a large tablet and write on it in common characters.” Isaiah 8:1

When I first started writing God kept giving me Habakkuk 2:2 “And the LORD answered me, ‘Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.'” So this morning when I read Isaiah I about fell off the couch! His timing is always so amazing; today we’re starting a new book, a new chapter in the life of Tamar. And the first words from His lips are “write”. It makes me smile. Especially with today’s technology, we are again writing on tablets! 😉 How funny is that!?! I’m not, but some of you may be!

There were many other scriptures that fell close to my heart this morning, but none closer than Isaiah 9:2. “The people who walked in darkness, have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.

My friends, I have been that person. For the majority of my life I lived in a place of darkness that I *thought* was light. I had been told that it was the light, but then I had a breakthrough to the real light and I can tell you with absolute confidence that religion is not the light. The radical Grace of Jesus that forgives COMPLETELY, that’s the LIGHT. It may sound funny, but for weeks after my breakthrough I truly felt like I was walking around aboveground for the first time after living en entire lifetime underground. The sun was brighter, colors were more vibrant, people were so much more fun to be around. I had been forgiven COMPLETELY of everything that God could ever hold against me! And honestly, if God wasn’t holding anything against me then who cares if anyone else is!

I felt free, really free, for the very first time in my life. It was amazing. And ever since that moment all I’ve wanted to do is to teach others about the amazing Grace of Jesus and tell them about the freedom that it brings in that moment of climbing out of the cave of darkness into His truly marvelous light.

And that is precisely what I intend to do for the rest of my life, no matter what my job title is. I have been filled with the marvelous light of His love, and that shouldn’t be hidden under a bed in fear of rejection or shame. It needs to sit high on a hill so that it can be a beacon for all to see and be drawn to his loving warmth and Grace.

Music you might enjoy: Marvelous Light by Christy Nockels

To read more about my journey from darkness into Light, you may want to check out my books: The Pink Polka dot Kitty (before and leading up to the receiving of His radical Grace) & You have been Redeemed (after receiving His radical Grace and figuring out what life aboveground looks like).

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | Leave a comment

The Stars

Isaiah 3:16-7:25

“In that day the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets, the headbands, and the crescents; the pendants, the bracelets, and the scarves; the headdresses, the armlets, the sashes, the perfume boxes, and the amulets; the signet rings and nose rings; the festal robes, the mantles, the cloaks, and the handbags; the mirrors, the linen garments, the turbans, and the veils.” Isaiah 3:18-23

OK, I have to admit that when I read this passage when I got to “handbags” I actually gasped! I mean, yeah, its one thing to take away all of a girl’s jewelry, but to take away her purse, now that’s just too far! At that point you might as well take away her shoes!


For the longest time, my motto has been “reach for the stars, because even if you fall short you’ll still be among the stars”. Well, a few weeks ago I was having a rough day and feeling pretty low. And I prayed and told God that I was feeling like my toes were barely touching rock bottom. I was tired of dangling at the bottom of the rope feeling like things were never going to change. I asked Him to pick me up and put me on His shoulders so that I could touch the stars. I said, “Lord, I don’t want to just reach for them and feel like I’m never going to get there. I want to ACTUALLY TOUCH THEM!”

The next day as I was walking up to the building where I was about to have a very important meeting I was greeting with this:

I actually almost cried.

Last night we had a whopper of a storm. And during that storm the LORD came to me. And He took me up to the heavens and showed me the stars all lay out like a carpet before me. They were absolutely breathtaking in their beauty and splendor as they sparkled much brighter than little diamonds in the sky. But then He did something interesting, He then took the stars in the heavens and all their beauty and He rolled them up and squeezed them down and showed me how He put them all in woman.

But He wasn’t finished with her yet. Then He took the storm that was raging around me with violent fury and healing rain and He shrunk that down and put that inside woman too! And then He presented her to me, as if I had been Adam and showed me how beautifully women have been created; with the heavens in their hair and the healing fury of a thunderous storm in their bellies. That while these women can have their heads in the clouds they can simultaneously run entire states (or countries if given the chance). Women have the exquisite beauty of an infinite sky and yet simultaneously have a healing touch like rain soothing the parched earth. Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned, but it also doesn’t have the voice of angels with the power of lighting.

Woman is by far one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, and yet all too often we rely so heavily on our outward adornment that our inward excellence has a hard time showing through. Last night God showed me the goddess that He created in woman and it had NOTHING to do with make up or jewelry or clothes or even handbags or shoes. To be a woman is to have stars in your heart and storms in your very being. We should be proud of that! Woman was the crowning jewel of all creation. Nothing in this entire universe can compare to the beauty of woman, all women. When we look up at the stars at night and just shake our heads at the infinite beauty of the heavens (and it is BEAUTIFUL UP THERE), its nothing compared to the beauty in here; within us. God showed me that last night.

Then after the fury of the storm had been unleashed He pointed out to me that I never had to reach for the stars, because they’ve always been inside me.

Years ago I read Isaiah 6:8-9 to God and said to Him “Here I am Lord, send me.” And He said “Go. Tell them I love them.” And ever since that moment I have done everything I can to tell the world how much Jesus loves them, because He does!

But lately, I’ve found myself stretched a little farther than I was comfortable with. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is certainly something that starts to get your attention after awhile. And I had a moment at church on Sunday where God used my pastor to take me down from the stage, he took away my microphone and he prayed for me. Then God used him to talk some sense into me. My pastor took me by the shoulders and told me to look him in the eye, which isn’t easy because he’s like nine feet tall and I’m only five. And he said to me, “God says, ‘You’re trying too hard to please Me. I am already pleased with you.'” And through sobs that were trembling my body and choking my throat I managed to laugh and tell him, “Do you have any idea how many times God has sent people to tell me that?”

There is no sacrifice left. Nothing that we can do pleases God more than to simply love Him back and have a conversation with Him. He just wants us to know Him more than we already do. We don’t have to earn His approval because we’ve already got it through the blood of Christ! Thank You Jesus! We don’t have to DO anything to get God to like us because He already likes us just the way we are; broken and frail, human and as messy as a pig in mud. Christians love to pick up the Law and beat each other and ourselves with it. We’ve forgotten that Jesus didn’t come to abolish the Law He came to fulfill it! Do you know what that means?

The Law is perfect, in absolutely every single way. Humanity is imperfect in absolutely every single way. The entire purpose of the Law was to point out these imperfections and make us realize that we could never live up to the standard of being a god. God the Father, perfect in every way. Jesus the Son, perfect in every way. The Holy Spirit, perfect in every way. Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because they wanted to “be like God”. God sent down the Law to show us, “OK, you want to be gods, here are the rules.” And surprise surprise, we couldn’t follow them. Go figure, we were never made to! We were created to be imperfect beings that NEED a perfect God to shepherd them and take care of them. We were created to be His Beloved children; the recipients of His love for us, period!

Yet in that one small seemingly insignificant bite humanity threw that all away and in a bold-faced statement told God, “We don’t need Your help, we don’t want Your help, we can do it on our own.” But guess what, we couldn’t do it on our own. Never have and never will, because it’s not how we were created. We were created to NEED HIM. We were created to be His. We were created to receive His love for us for the rest of eternity. We don’t have to reach for His love for us because it’s already inside us through His Holy Spirit. We don’t have to strive for His approval because we’ve already got it through Jesus Christ!

Jesus came to fulfill the Law. The perfect Law was like an outline of who God is and what He does. And while none of us could fill it in, Jesus could. He came along with His rainbow full of radiant colors and He colored in between the lines of the Law and showed us how it’s done. But the best part was in His last moment on the cross, Jesus shouted in a loud voice, “It is finished”. It was in that moment that the outline of the Law had been completely filled in with the blood of Jesus, leaving no spaces left for us to fill in on our own.

Yet we still try through don’t we? We still try to leave our little marks all over the Law, putting ourselves into a higher position than others because we think we’ve managed to fill in the Law better than they have. Wrong! It doesn’t work that way. If you’ve fallen in one tiny bite-sized area of the Law, you failed in all of it.

There is no sacrifice left. The only thing there is left to do is to rest in the Grace that Jesus has offered up on your behalf. Rest in your humanity and the Truth that you weren’t made to be perfect, you were made to be HIS!

You are more beautiful than the most beautiful sunset or the crispest clear night. You are more powerful than a raging storm and more healing than the rain falling on the ground causing things grow. You are woman, the most precious crown jewel in the kingdom, because you’re His!

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Jesus Loves YOU, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | 2 Comments

Use Me Lord!

Isaiah 1:1-3:15

“‘What to Me is the multitude of your sacrifices?’ says the LORD; I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats.” Isaiah 1:11

Almost a week ago I sat here at my desk, typing away when I suddenly had to stop and pray. I don’t remember exactly what it was I prayed, I only remember that during that prayer I ended up saying over and over and over again, “There is no sacrifice left”. God was really trying to drive a point home to ME that day.

There is no sacrifice left.

There’s nothing I can do, there’s nothing I can say, there’s nothing that I can give up or take on that will ever pay back my debt of gratitude to Jesus for what He has done on my behalf.

Yet I still try.

Confession time! I have been running myself ragged trying to do anything and everything I can to show Jesus how much I love Him. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to be everything He’s made me to be and say everything He’s made me to say and do everything He’s made me to do, but I can’t. I’ve ended up filling my days to absolutely overflowing with *things* that appear great on the surface, but might not be the best things for me deep down. If anyone asks me to help out with this or with that, I’m more than happy to volunteer; anything so that I can feel useful.

Oh my goodness! I just wrote that out and a lightning bolt of memory just exploded in my head! I have SO been in this place before!!! Sigh…. Do you remember that? When I wrote about how the things that we do don’t define our usefulness! BAM! Reality just hit HARD!

Will I ever escape from this cycle of needing to feel needed and useful? My value doesn’t come from my productivity! It comes from who I am!

Lord Jesus, please rescue me from myself! I am stuck in this place of constantly needing to feel like I’m accomplishing Your will; like I’m DOING something. Help me to realize that I’M not doing anything, YOU ARE! Sure You’re using me, but that doesn’t mean I’M the one doing it! I know better than that, so why have I gotten stuck in this rut of thinking that I “have” to do this, or I “have” to do that? The only thing I “have” to do, is trust You to take care of me. The only thing I “have” to do, is BELIEVE and then CONFESS that faith through my words and actions. No more, no less.

Lord, I’m sorry that I have lost sight of how You direct my steps, even when I’m not paying attention. Just remembering where this very computer came from is proof enough that You are active in the lives of Your believers, even without them knowing. Using someone who doesn’t follow you that closely to provide the very vehicle that has brought me thus far, well, that’s just poetic in my opinion. J

If you can guide them to do the right thing, then how much MORE can You guide someone who is actually seeking Your will and guidance! Lord, thank You for reminding me that I don’t have to have it all together for You to use me in mighty ways. In fact, it seems like the less I have it all together the more mightily You use me. It’s like the bigger mess I am, the better and more useful I become.

Lord I thank You for using me in spite of me!!! Only You could take this mess of a girl and turn her into the masterpiece I am. Now, if only I could believe and remember that a little more consistently!!!!!

Oh I love You LORD!!!!

Thank You!!!

Categories: 365 Life, Isaiah, Writing Through the Bible in a Year | Leave a comment

God is Not Mad at You


“This is like the days of Noah to me: as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you, and will not rebuke you. For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord , who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:9-10

I don’t know about you, but for this girl who desperately wants to please God there are few words that could ever taste sweeter on my lips than these.
God is not angry with you.
So often in books and sermons we hear about the wrath of God. We tremble at the thought of falling under that wrath, what would be like? What horrors would await us there under the wrath of an almighty God?
But according to this scripture we will never know what that is like. All because Jesus took that punishment for us. At the beginning of this verse God points to the promise he gave Noah that he would never again flood the whole earth. Now in all these thousands of years since He made that promise has God ever gone back on His word?
Not even once!
So is it fairly easy for us to believe with confidence that God is going to continue keeping that promise and that he won’t flood the earth ever again? It’s easy for me to believe that. I’ve seen it over and over again, floods that only go so far while other regions of the world experience drought.
Now if a God who can’t lie has kept His promise about no more global floods, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that He would then also keep this promise to you? He is not angry with you. He is not rebuking you. Though the mountains may fall and the hills may tumble, His steadfast love will always be with you. No matter how far you run, from the highest height to the lowest point He is there with you still. He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. He will never turn His back on you no matter how many times you push Him away. He will always be there. He is always in love with you. Always praying that you will accept His affections.

Categories: Isaiah, The Crazy Mom Blog | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

The End

My friends, I have some sad but possibly not so surprising news. I will no longer be blogging. I had a dream last night where I was standing in a hospital room in front of a doctor discussing a sickness that I had (no folks, I am not really physically sick) and that the only way to cure it was to have surgery to remove my ability to produce children (my writing). I looked at my Husband who had been standing to my right and without a word he gave me a look of permission. You know how husbands and wives can just look at each other and have a whole conversation; it was one of those looks. He had that look, like “you knew it was coming, go ahead and do it because this is necessary”. This surgery was going to save my life. So after I talked to the doctor my Husband and I were walking down a hallway, Him standing to the left of me with His right arm over my shoulder protectively our heads bowed down in sadness together, but walking forward.

I didn’t know what the dream meant until I went to type it all out, and like a flash of lighting hits the ground I knew. It’s time to walk away from the blog and on towards something else. What EXACTLY that something else is, I don’t know. But I do know that although my year through the Bible isn’t finished, the posting of blogs about it is. I’m heartbroken about it and yet I have a peace that passes understanding. Maybe it was the look in His eye or the way that He held me under His arm but I know that it’ll be OK, leaving this chapter of my life behind.

I have so enjoyed this time with you all; sharing the intimate details of my life with you in a way that I never have tried before. God is calling me forward, always forward toward home and other pursuits along the way. As I sit here and type this, I weep, I have loved all of this so much. Living as though my life were a story to be told and I pray that you have enjoyed sharing in the journey with me. When I woke up from the dream the Holy Spirit began signing to me “by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony, everyone, overcome. We will overcome!…” at the time I didn’t understand, now I do!

My friends, we overcome this life and its turmoil by the blood of the Lamb AND the word of our testimony. If you know me at all you know that I will NEVER stop telling my testimony and I pray that if you learned nothing else from this blog I pray that you learned to tell your own story in your own way to as many people as would listen. It is through the word of your testimony that we overcome the Enemy and his lies. Never stop telling your story!!!

As I step away from the chapter of life, I refuse to say goodbye, but rather hello to the next chapter, the next story, the next testimony, the next form of storytelling that God wants me to learn about. You know, this whole thing started because I started scrapbooking my wedding album, and like a fairytale it has all led up to this point:

Tamar and her husband walked off into the sunrise hand in hand, and they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Categories: Isaiah | 2 Comments

A Time Out

Today’s Reading: Isaiah 14:1-17:14

Last night I was pestering my husband to take me out on a date this Friday night because I wanted to just get away from it all for a few hours. His response “I don’t think I can get away, I have so much to do.”

How often do we get to that point where we have so much on our “to do” list that we allow our to do list to tell us what to do? I don’t know about you, but that’s where I am right now! I had this vision of grandeur where I would wave Sean off to work and the kids off to school and then I could actually get some things done around here because there wouldn’t be anybody here to mess them up anymore… WRONG! Because now I’m not even here either! But maybe that’s part of my stress too. I’ve spent the last five years practically locked up in this house waiting for something to happen and now all the sudden it is and I’m hanging on to the doorframe with my fingernails going “WAIT! I’m not ready yet!” So here I am this morning waving goodbye to the school bus, armpit deep in to do list items running through my head when I stepped off the curb and just started walking. At first I was just walking the dog because that’s what I had been doing every morning after the bus left, I was outside already anyway right? But by the time I got to the end of the first block it hit me, this, right now, could be the time out I need! It was a beautiful morning, the air was crisp enough to be wearing jeans and my favorite sweater coat, the birds were chirping their merry song, the swift little click of a tiny dog’s toenails hitting the pavement as fast as he could walk, it was music pushing me along to just pray and clear my mind of all the stress and gunk that has built up over the last few days. Nothing that major, in fact most of it all has been very good news, but yet I still felt so overwhelmed by it all. Just the sheer mass of things I “have” to do was mounting and becoming insurmountable. The fact that they are all good things, things that I enjoy doing, hasn’t seemed to make any difference it’s simply been my lack of any quiet time.

Last night in telling my husband that I just wanted some quiet time with him, I meant it. More than I even knew. Because as much as I love all the fun things that I’ve been filling my days with, I’ve been missing my quiet time with Jesus every day. Of all the things on the to do list that “have” to get done, that seems to be the one that gets left out the most often and I’m really feeling it today. Right now, what I’m longing for more than anything else is a day with Jesus all to myself; just me and my Bible, a notebook and a pen under a shady tree in our yard on a nice breezy day with a tall glass of ice water. I miss talking with Him, hearing from Him and sharing in His presence, I miss sharing in His revelation in His word. I miss HIM! And just like I’m longing to just spend time with Sean, the two of us in a quiet place maybe not even really talking about anything but just sitting together in silence, I’m longing for the same thing with Jesus. Life has been fun, but it’s just feels empty without those quiet times out with them – away from the to do list in our own little world just the two of us.


I just logged onto to get the link for today’s reading and Psalm 94:18-19 was their verse of the day. Does my God love me or what????? I am so blessed!!! “When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul.” Words to describe completely how I am feeling!!! I LOVE YOU LORD!!!!!

Categories: Isaiah | Leave a comment

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