My friends, I have some sad but possibly not so surprising news. I will no longer be blogging. I had a dream last night where I was standing in a hospital room in front of a doctor discussing a sickness that I had (no folks, I am not really physically sick) and that the only way to cure it was to have surgery to remove my ability to produce children (my writing). I looked at my Husband who had been standing to my right and without a word he gave me a look of permission. You know how husbands and wives can just look at each other and have a whole conversation; it was one of those looks. He had that look, like “you knew it was coming, go ahead and do it because this is necessary”. This surgery was going to save my life. So after I talked to the doctor my Husband and I were walking down a hallway, Him standing to the left of me with His right arm over my shoulder protectively our heads bowed down in sadness together, but walking forward.
I didn’t know what the dream meant until I went to type it all out, and like a flash of lighting hits the ground I knew. It’s time to walk away from the blog and on towards something else. What EXACTLY that something else is, I don’t know. But I do know that although my year through the Bible isn’t finished, the posting of blogs about it is. I’m heartbroken about it and yet I have a peace that passes understanding. Maybe it was the look in His eye or the way that He held me under His arm but I know that it’ll be OK, leaving this chapter of my life behind.
I have so enjoyed this time with you all; sharing the intimate details of my life with you in a way that I never have tried before. God is calling me forward, always forward toward home and other pursuits along the way. As I sit here and type this, I weep, I have loved all of this so much. Living as though my life were a story to be told and I pray that you have enjoyed sharing in the journey with me. When I woke up from the dream the Holy Spirit began signing to me “by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony, everyone, overcome. We will overcome!…” at the time I didn’t understand, now I do!
My friends, we overcome this life and its turmoil by the blood of the Lamb AND the word of our testimony. If you know me at all you know that I will NEVER stop telling my testimony and I pray that if you learned nothing else from this blog I pray that you learned to tell your own story in your own way to as many people as would listen. It is through the word of your testimony that we overcome the Enemy and his lies. Never stop telling your story!!!
As I step away from the chapter of life, I refuse to say goodbye, but rather hello to the next chapter, the next story, the next testimony, the next form of storytelling that God wants me to learn about. You know, this whole thing started because I started scrapbooking my wedding album, and like a fairytale it has all led up to this point:
Tamar and her husband walked off into the sunrise hand in hand, and they lived happily ever after.