“I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.”
“Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.”
I have a lot of favorite verses in the bible, but I have to say that this one ranks pretty high for me. If you’re not familiar with the book of the Song of Solomon, and most people aren’t, it’s an allegorical poem about a couple who meet, fall in love and get married. This verse… well it’s their honeymoon. Heh heh heh. It starts off with the husband speaking to his new wife (“my sister, my bride” but she’s not REALLY his sister in a physical sense, only in a spiritual one) having just consummated the marriage. Then a narrator comes in and tells them to enjoy their marriage bed. Most translations of the bible have this part of the verse with the heading of “Friends” or “Narrator”, but me, I’m convinced that it’s God. Hence the plural form due to His triune nature (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) and when you think about it, who ELSE would be in that room with them at this time anyway??? EW! To have this narrative voice be God is why I like this verse so much and hold it so dear to my heart; because it embodies God’s approval of sex in marriage. It ENCOURAGES the married couple to ENJOY sex, to eat, to drink, to be FILLED with love for each other, to complete each other as only a married couple can.
So often in our lives as mothers we get so wrapped up in mothering and taking care of the household that we forget this vital aspect of being a mother. Yes, being a mother. Not to our husbands mind you, although it can CERTAINLY feel that way sometimes! But having adventurous and creative sex with our husbands IS part of mothering. I know, I know, right now you are shaking your heads and thinking I’m a loon, but stick with me on this one. The biggest part of being the best mother to your children is being the best wife to their father. SHOWING them, what a great God-centered marriage looks like, so that when they grow up and get married themselves, they too can have a great marriage filled with life and love and JOY and yes, great sex too. J
God didn’t create Eve to merely raise children and keep the house! He created her to be a HELPER for Adam. Honey, your husband has needs, needs that only YOU can truly meet. Yes, there are many many many alternative ways for him to fulfill those needs, but only YOU can truly satisfy him. This world has gotten so messed up and filled with the Enemy’s substitutes to real intimacy. Pornography for starters! It’s rampant! And it’s absolute POISON for marriages!!!! The internet is filled with images that can turn a man’s head toward digital fantasy women and away from his flesh and blood wife. The woman who was created to help him out in this area and has pledged to do so! (It was part of your marriage vows ladies – LOVE, honor and cherish.) Men were created to be stimulated visually, which is great when you live out in the middle of a desert with one woman and your kids… not so great when you’re in a society so flooded with sexual images to “sell” things that there is no where left to avert your eyes other than to stare at your feet all day! My husband and I have been battling this in our own home for years now. At an early age he became entrenched in pornography and masturbation, LONG before we ever met. This trend that started when he was in junior high has gone on throughout our entire marriage and almost ended it! However, God is amazing. He is the ultimate healer and miracle worker. He saved our marriage and with His help my husband is slowly but surely mastering the art of finding his sexual fulfillment in me, and me alone. Just imagine being the sole source of your husband’s sexual pleasure; the only place and person that his eyes can feast upon; the only person that his hands caress lovingly and hungrily. Doesn’t that just sound awesome!?! Don’t get me wrong, it’s a HUGE responsibility, but it comes with a huge reward as well.
Making sex a priority in your marriage is critical in the success of your marriage. Don’t believe me? Just keep reading. I’ll do my best to make a believer out of you yet. J God has taught me the importance of sex in my marriage, now it’s my job to pass that knowledge on to you. I pray that I will do a worthy job of leading you along the path of marital success and fulfillment. God has such blessings in store for you my friend! Believe in Him that He is the creator of marriage, and of sex. He can help you through this, I promise. He will not leave you stranded out in the cold in a loveless marriage. If you desire more than an OK marriage, I encourage you to put your trust in Him and Him alone; not me, or your husband, or yourself. Place your trust in the one place that it is truly safe and sound from all harm. Place it in the hands of the one who cares more for you than anyone else on the face of this planet! God tells us that when we place our hearts desires at His feet, He hears them. I assure you that no one wants you to have a healthy and satisfying marriage more than God the Father does! So don’t you think that if this is something that He wants for you, and it’s something that you want for you, that perhaps just maybe He will give it to you? Not that He just zaps you with the answers to all your prayers instantly, OH how I’ve wished that was the case, no you have to work for them too. But when you do everything you can, He picks up the rest of the “slack” and does the rest for you. God is in the heart changing business, it’s kinda His “thing”. So let God work on your husband’s heart, and your own, and just follow His lead. God knows what you need the most in this world, and He won’t withhold that from you.
Hang in there, help is on the way!
Tamar Knochel 