Author Archives: Tamar

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About Tamar

Tamar Knochel at your service! From sewing and crafting to words of encouragement when you need them most. I'm here for you. ❤️

Dandelions

Posted on August 7, 2011 by Tamar

“And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Matthew 10:30)

My new favorite flower is the dandelion. Yes, you read that correctly, a dandelion. I know, I know, many of you gardeners and lawn care specialists out there are shaking your heads in dismay at me right now, but hear me out on this. I know that most people don’t like them because they’re considered “weeds”. But what is it that makes them a weed and not a flower? www.dictionary.com defines “weed” as: 1)     Undesirable plant growing in cultivated ground 2)   To free from weeds 3)   To remove as undesirable. So, from this we learn that the definition of a weed is that it is undesirable, but nowhere does it say by WHOM it is not desired. It’s all in the eye of the beholder! So while the majority of humans would NEVER plant a dandelion in their flower beds on purpose, God does it every day! Think about it. Who controls the wind? God. And how do dandelion seeds get spread? The wind. So, who plants the dandelions? God. Every… single… one. Now, who are we to say that they’re weeds when God placed them precisely where they are? Eye of the beholder my friend, eye of the beholder.

During my years as a preschool teacher I was the proud recipient of many a dandelion, both from my students and my own children. Not once did I have a child come to me and say “Here, I picked this weed for you.” No, each time that dandelion had been hand-picked with love, both for the beauty of the creation and the recipient of the gift. Who are we to say that a part of God’s creation (His love letter to US) is undesirable? Is it because the dandelion is a common flower found practically everywhere that it is deemed undesirable? Diamonds are a common gem easily mined, but yet THEY’RE not undesirable so who gets to make these decisions anyway?

Ya know, I think maybe that’s what the trials, test, irritations, and frustrations in our lives are like too, dandelions. From losing our keys when we’re late to a death in the family, it’s all in the eye of the beholder; in the way we look at them. Usually when I’m running late there is inevitably SOMETHING that gets forgotten or left behind making us even later and me more frazzled. Now I have a choice in how I look at the situation. I can look at it from a “weed” point-of-view, or I can look at it from a “flower” point-of-view. You see, I believe that there is no such thing as random. Especially if you are a Christian! You see, God is a detail oriented kind of God. He’s into details like how many hairs are on your head, and how many footsteps we’ll take in our lives. If God keeps track of my hair count (that changes every time I run my hands through my hair, or a breeze shifts it) then how can I then also believe that He would leave anything up to chance or coincidence? Especially things like being ten minutes late for an appointment! If I leave on-time I’m going to cross paths with a completely different set of drivers, stop-light sequences, pedestrians, etc, than if I leave ten minutes later than I had planned. So when I look at my situation from a weed point-of-view, I’m seeing how late I am, how things aren’t going according to MY plan. But when I flip my point-of-view and look at the flower and not the week I begin to think about things differently. Yes, I’m still late, but maybe just maybe I’m late… for a reason! Maybe, if I had left on-time I would’ve crossed paths with someone texting and driving and running a red light straight into the side of my car. Who know?!? God does! And who am I to say that He’s wrong or that His plan isn’t perfect? God plants those dandelions smack in the middle of our nice green lawns, who are we to say that they shouldn’t be there? My guess is they’re there to teach us something or maybe to make our boring green lawn a little more interesting and beautiful. Who knows? All I know is that it’s not my place to say whether or not it is or is not supposed to be there, but rather how I choose to see the situation and ask God how HE wants me to deal with it.

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Flypaper Sins

Posted on August 5, 2011 by Tamar

our prayers are like flies and our sins are like flypaper keeping them from ever reaching God“Your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:2b)

Some of you may know this already, but I pray a LOT. While I’m folding the laundry, doing the dishes, washing my hands, making breakfast, lunch or dinner, vacuuming, are you noticing a trend here? Housework, busy work, if it doesn’t take a whole lot of brain power, I’m praying while I do it. J Well, I’m sure you can imagine that with all these prayers going up I wouldn’t want them to get stuck like flies on flypaper between me and God or the answer to my prayer getting stuck between Him and whomever I’m praying for. Well, I heard a sermon on prayer the other day where the pastor talked about one of Daniel’s prayers getting stuck for twenty-one days before it was delivered to him in person by the angel Gabriel! (Daniel 10) This got me really thinking, what hinders my prayers and answers from getting to where they’re supposed to go? I just had to dig deeper! I was so thrilled with what I found and the liberating qualities of it all that I just had to share it with you TODAY!

Have you ever felt like your prayers are simply just bouncing off the walls & ceiling and coming right back to you like a bounced email with the wrong address? Like God’s not listening or accepting your phone calls, no matter how desperate they are? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly been there before! So when I found Isaiah 59:1-3, I was so relieved. “Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities (aka sins, disobedience to God’s laws) have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. For your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt. Your lips have spoken lies, and your tongue mutters wicked things.” Isaiah is explaining that although it may SEEM like God’s not listening or acting to answer our prayers, the reality is, it’s not God’s inactivity that’s causing the communication error, it’s ours! It is because we have unresolved sin lurking in our lives that God isn’t willing to act on our part. Why? Because, every sin that goes unresolved hangs like a strip of flypaper above our heads where we pray, preventing our prayers from flying with wings like eagles up to the LORD above. With our own hands and fingers we have done things we really shouldn’t have, our lips have spoken untruths or half-truths, deceptions, hurtful things and words not fit for the Holy Spirit to hear. We’ve had eyes that have lingered just a liiiiitle too long on things they shouldn’t have, thoughts that should have been cast immediately out of our minds instead of being dwelt upon… and yet they were. All of these things build up, and block the LORD’s precious face from our view; and our prayers from being effectively answered in a timely manner. What sins are we committing to cause Him to turn away from us?

While the list of our flypaper sins may be a mile long, God is loving and abounding in grace and mercy. And in Leviticus 26:40-42 He tells us: “But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers – their treachery against Me and their hostility toward Me, which made Me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies – then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land.” This scripture is loaded with details on how to get God to remove all the flypaper sins that hinder our prayers from reaching Him so let’s dig in! He starts with the word “But”. As a disciple of Christ, the word “but” is one of my favorites, because it usually follows a long list of things that we’ve done wrong or against God; which is the case here. From verse 14 to verse 39 is a laundry list of all the punishments for disobedience… and then He follows it all with a BUT! Praise God! There is hope for us yet. He follows that but with an “if”. “IF we will confess our sins and the sins of our fathers”, IF, isn’t it so great? God is gracious enough to give us yet another “second” chance. IF we confess our treachery and hostility that we committed toward Him. This scripture tells us that our sins make God “hostile toward us”. I was curious about the Hebrew definition of the word translated hostile so I looked it up and it means “opposition, hostile, or contrariness”. Our sins put us in opposition with God; they put us on the OTHER side of the battle lines that have been drawn. Now I don’t know about you, but when I’m fighting the war of life, I want to be on the SAME side that God’s on! This phrase also explains why our prayers aren’t being answered in the order in which they were received; we’re in opposition to God! First John 5:14-15 tells us “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him.” So if we’re in opposition to God, then we can’t be according to His will… even if our prayers are! Woo, that is a scary thought! BUT, again, God is gracious, and He remembers! He remembers those prayers, He saves them for later! So that when we have confessed our sins and the sins of our fathers, when our hearts have been humbled and when we’ve paid for our sins (Hallelujah, Jesus did this part for us, otherwise there would be no hope for us) God can pull those prayers back out of the bowl and send the answers down to us as quickly as supernaturally possible! How awesome is our God!?! Oh, but wait, He gets better! Not only does He remember our prayers, He remembers His covenants too! He remembers those promises that He gave to us generations ago, He doesn’t forget them either. God is so good!

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In the Garden

Posted on August 4, 2011 by Tamar

040712_1524_IntheGarden1.jpg“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.” (John 15:1)

Go with me to the garden for a moment. It’s first thing Sunday morning. The sun has just broken over the eastern horizon, the dew is still on the roses, the birds are singing their morning praise songs and we are crunching along the stone path to Jesus’ grave to anoint His body properly. It was a holiday weekend, the biggest there is, but it certainly didn’t feel like a holiday weekend! None of the food tasted any good; it was filled with tears of mourning. Everything we had ever hoped for, dreamed of, talked about, loved… died on Friday afternoon. We have nothing to celebrate right now. But, as much as we dislike it, life goes on, and there are things to be done; dishes to wash, laundry to fold. But there is one small bright spot to our day this Sunday. We get to go visit Jesus’ body one last time. Touch His hands and His feet – anoint Him. So here we are on the path in the garden on what is by far the most beautiful morning we’ve seen in ages. Everything seems alive and vibrant and fresh today, I wonder why. I turn to you in concern, “Oh no! How are we going to roll that huge stone away from the tomb? There’s no way we’ll be strong enough to do it! Those are next to impossible to move!” But you reply, “God will make a way for us. Have faith.” “Just like Mary,” I think to myself, “always faithful. God bless her, she’s right, God will bless us in our efforts, He will make a way for us to honor His son and anoint Him.” But then we see it! His tomb, it’s already open! “Wow! God REALLY made a way!” But as we approach we start to sense something amiss, where’s Jesus’ body!?! As we become a flurry of confusion and grief and anger and voices, two men with clothes like lightning appear standing next to us, startling us to silence and immediate prostrate positions of humility with our faces to the ground. (It was either that or faint I think!) The angels questioned us, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He’s not here! He is risen!…” As an unexplainable joy floods our souls and brings us back to the living, the angels remind us of Jesus’ words “…crucified and on the third day be raised again.” Oh how could we have forgotten? We run the entire way back to the house where the disciples are, the birds’ songs cheering us on, urging our feet to move faster. When we arrive our excitement streams through our lips as fast as we all can speak, causing dazed, shocked, confused, angry and hopeful looks on everyone’s faces. None of them know what to think, could it really be true? Can our hopes still be alive? What is happening? Was it thievery or a miracle? Can it really be true? Peter, not wanting to be left out of the action I’m sure, returned to the tomb to investigate, running the entire way. Breathing heavily he entered the tomb to find all the wrappings of death discarded carelessly, and the napkin from His head folded carefully, signifying that He was not finished and that he would return. Not quite knowing how to deal with all this extraordinary information Simon Peter went away to think and pray, but you, Mary, you stayed. You couldn’t bear to leave could you? Your grief and confusion is so complete so consuming that you simply couldn’t leave the last known residence of your Lord and love Jesus of Nazareth. He saved you from a horrible life of torment didn’t He? Those demons had plagued you night and day, filled your head with criticisms and self-doubt, fears and pain unimaginable. But then Jesus came along didn’t He? He freed you from all of it! The pain, the shame, the torment, the fear, all gone the instant He touched you. It must have been amazing! Obviously it was because you haven’t left His side since, even in death, you’re still here at His grave – waiting. Crying because you don’t know what’s happening. But more than that, because you don’t know where He is. All you know is that He’s not with you and the pain that that is causing you is worse than anything the demons ever did. Your love for Jesus is so pure that nothing can stop you from wanting Him; His presence in your life, His love in your life, His grace in your life. You miss Him like nothing you’ve ever known. And as you’re standing there wailing beside the tomb, you just have to look upon His last resting place one more time. But this time there are two angels sitting there. And right now you are too grieved to care that there are two supernatural beings speaking to you. “Woman, why are you crying?” they ask. You sob, “They have taken my Lord away, and I don’t know where they have put Him!”

Mary, when everyone else left Him, you stayed. When everyone else pondered, you grieved. Maybe you didn’t understand what was really happening, or maybe you understood better than anyone else. Either way, I can’t imagine what it felt like to be there that morning. In that new day air, your eyes brimming with tears saw a man standing near Jesus’ grave. “Maybe he knows where Jesus is.” Perhaps that’s what you thought when you asked Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him and I will get Him.” Perhaps, at that moment in the garden, Jesus looked so much like His father that that’s why you mistook Him for the gardener. Oh, but no tears or choking sobs of grief could disguise His voice from you could it? No. Just as the sheep know their shepherd’s voice, all it took was for Him to say one precious word, your name. “Mary”. And reality came crashing through your tears. He is HERE! He is ALIVE! He is speaking YOUR name! He knows your grief, He knows your pain and He came to you first to end that anguish in your soul and replace it with joy and hope and fire. All with a single word, your name. Because He knows your name, it’s written on the palm of His hand.

Oh how desperately you wanted to cling to Him, to talk to Him, to hang on His every word and bask in His luminous personality. But alas, just as you could not hang onto your grief this morning because you had work to do, that same is true now. You can not hang onto your joy because there is work to do. OH! But the work that there is to do! It too is joyful. “You Mary”, Jesus explains, “have to tell the others. You must spread the good news! You (a woman, which means they may not believe you) must tell everyone that I am alive, you have seen me, and that I am returning to My Father and your Father, to my God and your God. No Mary, you may not stay longer here with Me, I know you want to, but there will be plenty of time for that later. Right now, people need to know what has happened and what will happen. I will come again, and we will be together, so be patient. Until that time, tell everyone the good things I have done for you for My glory. O blessed one.”

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Everything Can Change TODAY!

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Tamar

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!” (1 Samuel 12:16)

Have you been waiting for something? Waiting for the LORD to fulfill a promise He’s made to you? Is there something you’ve been longing for that just can’t seem to break through whatever wall it’s stuck behind? I know how you feel, I have been there. But ya know what, we’re in good company. I know of a few other people who waited for the LORD, and it worked out pretty well for them.

At the opening of Genesis chapter 12 we read “The LORD had said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.’” Now, that was a very heavy promise that God just laid down at Abram’s feet. If Abram obeys God and leaves everything behind to follow Him, then he will be made into a great nation, will be blessed, his name will be great and he will not only be blessed himself, but will be a blessing to others as well. So of course, Abram left everything to follow wherever God would lead him, with a promise like that who wouldn’t? But there wasn’t an immediate fulfillment of God’s promise, there were a lot of baby steps that got Abram to that place where his descendants were as “numerous as the stars”. But it DID happen.

Later in Genesis 37 we meet a young shepherd boy named Joseph. He too was blessed by God with a promise in two consecutive dreams of reigning over his brothers and his parents even. We find as we read, that it is through Joseph’s retelling of his dreams to his brothers that infuriates them to the point of near murder and ends up getting him sold as a slave. Just about as far away from reigning as he can possibly be. But, one morning years and years later, he woke up in a jail cell and that very same night he was sleeping in the lap of luxury as the second in command of all Egypt! All because God used him to interpret a dream, it just so happens, that it was Pharaoh’s dream. I think it’s a little funny that the one thing that got him into trouble with his brothers is the one and very same thing that got him out of trouble and into Pharaoh’s graces, a dream and his gift for interpreting them.

Then we meet Moses and read about his calling from God to lead His people out of the bondage of slavery that they have been in for generations. For years I imagine Moses struggled with who he was. He was born a Hebrew, nursed by a Hebrew, but then later on raised in the palace with the Pharaoh’s daughter as her son. He knew where he came from and he knew where he was and he knew that he just didn’t belong in either place. So when circumstances led him to leave Egypt and bring him smack dab in the middle of an appointment with destiny in the form of a burning bush and the voice of God. All his life he just knew that there was something different about him, now he was finding out what exactly it was. He was called to do a big job, one that only he could do, with his intimate knowledge of the inner workings of the palace and how things operated around there.

God’s call on each of these men’s lives was so tremendous! And each of them took years of patiently waiting, learning who they were and what they were good at to find their destiny, their calling, the fulfillment of a promise putting an end to their waiting. But then, there came that day. The day the waiting was ended. The day… when everything changed. For Abraham it was the day that his son Isaac was brought into the world in his very old age. A miracle from beginning to end! The child of the promise was born. For Joseph things were a bit more sudden, he was in jail of all places! Jail! And yet, God is faithful, no matter what our circumstances are, He fulfills His promises in His perfect timing. With Moses things again were sudden and on top of that, supernatural! In an instant, everything changed for all of them, their lives never to be the same from that moment on.

I believe the same is true for us today. God’s Word tells us that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8). The God that was working in Abraham, Joseph and Moses’ lives is the exact same God that is working in our lives today. And that same God tells us “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly til the end the confidence we had at first.” (Hebrews 3:13-14) We’ve got to encourage each other daily and remind each other to “hold firmly til the end”, to cling to the promises of God for dear life! God is not… letting… go, He has not forgotten, He is not slow to answer nor His arm too short to save (Numbers 11:23). God is moving and working in your life TODAY, right NOW. Don’t live in the past, don’t live in the future, live in TODAY! Did you know that it’s only ever today. It’s never yesterday and it’s never tomorrow, we are only allowed to live today, in the here and now. Living in the past, or future, tells God that your present isn’t good enough for you. I’ve been living with my hope in the future, instead of expecting it for TODAY, and things just weren’t working out for me. When I asked God why, He told me, “Because, you were not believing Me for them today.” I was putting all my hope into tomorrow, instead of realizing that “tomorrow” never really comes! It’s always only “today”! All we ever have is right now, and if our hope isn’t in right now, then where is it? Our hope is supposed to be in Christ, and the fact that He is working in our lives TODAY to work out all the infinite details necessary to fulfill every single promise that He ever has, or ever will, utter. EVERY DAY God is moving in YOUR life. TODAY God is about to do some great thing right before your eyes so stand still and watch Him work! Hold your hands out to receive it. Let Him rain it down on you with thunder and a force that ONLY He can provide! Do not be afraid of the storm, do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. Praise Him, for He is good, and His love endures forever… just like His promises.

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Pursue

Posted on August 2, 2011 by Tamar

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Psalm 23:6 KJV

I have a confession to make… for some reason this summer, although we’ve spent at least one day a week at the pool, I have had a fear of swimming in the deep end. Yes, I, a grown woman, was afraid of swimming in the deep end of a pool. It’s taken me all summer long to really work through it to be honest. The first few times we went swimming I wouldn’t go down there at all. But my son, a fish, was desperate to jump off the diving board, so I faced my fear and clung to a swim noodle for dear life. All the while ACTING calm and not afraid. But inside I was trembling! And all I could think about was the eight & a half feet of water beneath me! Gradually, as I became more comfortable I started venturing out without the noodle. at times, showing off. False bravado to hide the true fear quaking within me. Now lately, my FOUR-YEAR-OLD has been jumping off the diving board with her little life vest on! I couldn’t let her show me up! So the first time I jumped off the diving board I held her hand. Not to give her support, but for me! She had the flotation device strapped to her body, not me! What if I ran out of breath? What if I couldn’t get to the top fast enough? What if…(gasp)… I got water up my nose!      Now, through all this, you must keep in mind, I AM a strong swimmer. I always have been. But, I’d forgotten that. No… I hadn’t forgotten it, I was failing to remember it. I was failing to hold onto it, to believe it. I was allowing the Enemy to convince me that I couldn’t swim still. That I wasn’t going to be able to keep my head above the water and keep breathing. Thank GOD, he never gets to win!!!

So now we come to today. When I was jumping off the diving board with all those kids today, NOT holding my four-year-old’s hand for security OR safety, I did a pencil dive and actually TOUCHED the bottom of the pool with my feet! I have to admit, a loud “I TOUCHED THE BOTTOM!” did escape from my lips and betray a bit of my false bravado. But I didn’t care, because I had done it! I had faced my fear of the depth of water, held my breath, closed my eyes tightly, and took my leap of faith into that water, just to see if I could do it. AND I DID!

Now, what does this have to do with God? Why is this story in a devotional? God’s love is an ocean, with a depth that is so much deeper than anyone could EVER even imagine let alone touch the bottom. And all summer long His goodness and mercy have been hunting me down trying to catch me and bless me! But honestly, I’ve been afraid of them! I’ve gotten comfortable in my former bondage. I’ve been in it for the last 11 years, I know how to breathe there, I know how to be in that place of slavery. Have I cried out over and over for God to save me from this situation? Of course I have! Is God trying to get me to leave Egypt with Him right now? You betcha He is! Was I ready to go before? Apparently not. I wasn’t trusting Him, His goodness. And it took all summer for Him to finally chase me long enough to wear me out enough to get me to stop and let Him wash over me with His truth. He has deep pockets. Now, that’s a phrase that I’ve been saying over and over and over for the last 2 years… and I THOUGHT I believed it, until right now. I DID believe that God has deep pockets, and that they were filled with all kinds of great treats for His Beloved children. But I was not believing that I was one of those children that He was willing to treat with big gifts.

I’ve learned that God’s grace is abounding and full of mercy and forgiveness. More than even makes sense! But yet there it is. In the twenty-third Psalm verse six we read “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:” (KJV) The word translated as “follow” is special, critical, in understanding God’s goodness and mercy. In the original Hebrew text the word was pronounced “raw-daf” and according to Strong’s this same word has also been translated (in the New American Standard Bible) as hunt, follow, chase, persecute, and my personal favorite and the translators favorite, pursue! Raw-daf has been translated as some form or another of pursue, ONE HUNDRED SEVEN TIMES!!! THAT is what my summer, thus far, has been about! God pursuing me with His blessings! WHY HAVE I BEEN HIDING FROM THEM????? Can someone please tell me why in the world I have been afraid of God’s blessings??? Why I haven’t trusted that they would, or that they even could be good blessings? I’ve believed and trusted that He has plenty of good things in store for me… in the future. But, not just yet. Not right now. Not TODAY. But He does have good things for me TODAY! Lots of them! They’ve been building up all summer long, I just kept hiding under an umbrella of fear, keeping them from showering down over me like rain.

Well, Lord. I’m folding up the umbrella. I’m putting it… no, I’m throwing it away! Pour it out Lord! You no longer have to hunt me down with Your blessings, I’m going to stop running, stop hiding, stop being afraid to believe that You have good things planned out for me for TODAY! Not just my future, but for my TODAY!  I am going for a swim in Your goodness, and search for that treasure that You have hidden just for me today. I am going to dig into your Word daily to find the wisdom and grace and love that you have buried there for me to find today. I will seek You with all my heart each and every day, because Your Word tells us that when we seek, we WILL find! And when we knock the door with be opened unto us. Lord I’m knocking on the door of tremendous blessing today, expecting it to open today. Lord, by knocking, I have asked for the doors leading to tremendous blessings to be opened, and again Your Word says that when we ask we WILL receive. These are Your promises Lord. And You. don’t. lie.

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Day 34: Beneficial

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Tamar

God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.  And there was evening, and there was morning, the sixth day.    Genesis 1:31

Humans were one of the things created on the sixth day.  When God made humans He created them with procreation in mind.  But more beautiful than that, He performed the very first wedding ceremony too!  In Genesis 2:22-24 it tells us that He brought her to the man (walked her down the aisle), the groom said “va va va vooom!  I’ll take her!  I DO!” and then God said the thing that has been repeated in almost every wedding ceremony since the beginning of time “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  Now, *ahem*, “and they will become one flesh”; WHAT do you suppose THAT means?  They’ve just gotten married, God has approved and finalized the union, and then mentions that they will become one flesh.  Hmmmm…..  Well, God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; and fill the earth, and subdue it. (Genesis 1:28a)  Hee hee!  You see, God isn’t afraid of sex.  He created it, and He created it to be “very good”!  “God saw ALL that He had made, and it was VERY GOOD.”  Ya-know, since humans were included in that statement, I believe that means sex was also included in that statement.  God created it all, including sex to be VERY GOOD, otherwise we all would’ve stopped having it a long time ago.

When you view your body as a living sacrifice and a gift to both God and your husband, sex with your husband can end up being an act of worship and praise to God if you let it.  As part of this act of worship I recommend praying together before making love.  It may seem a little strange or silly at first (considering we’ve never seen it on movies or TV), but think about it; we pray together at the dinner table before we satisfy our body’s hunger for food.  Is it really that far of a stretch to pray together at the marriage bed before we satisfy our body’s hunger for sexual fulfillment?  Personally I think taking a few moments to thank God for our true intimacy is just as important if not more so, than thanking Him for our food.  Besides, in a few more moments you’ll probably be praising God for His “job well done” in making your husband’s body, and your union.  Just make sure that you’re not worshiping the sex or your husband, but the true maker of them both, God Almighty.  He created sex for our enjoyment, so have FUN with it.  Don’t allow sex to be another item on your to-do list, let it be something you look forward to with anticipation.  Let it be something special between you and your husband, something to get silly and giddy about.  Honestly, in our marriage, sex has gone from an obligation to, well, we’re acting like newlyweds again.  We’re playful with one another.  We’re whispering to each other.  We’re speaking in code to tell each other “I want you”.  It’s a whole new world for us now!  Our God is a creative God, be creative in your love-making.  With that being said, I must throw in this precautionary verse as a consideration for you.

In 1 Corinthians 6:12, Paul informs the Corinthians that while everything is permissible for them, not everything is beneficial for them.  Meaning, just because it’s not considered a sin for you to do something doesn’t mean that it’s not harmful for you to do it.  And that’s the question you have to ask of the LORD, “Is this sexual act I’d like to do beneficial?”  Something that God has spoken through me is that “He made marriage to allow us to do whatever our filthy little minds would come up with.”  From what I’ve been able to find through all my research thus far; as long as it’s within the bounds of marriage (one woman and one man for life, legally bound by the state), it is permissible.  Whether it is beneficial is between the two of you and God!  Remember, you do not want to do anything that will harm your body, or cause you to sin against Him, or degrade each other. Your bodies are the temple of God, a living sacrifice, so you need to be respectful of that at all times; You do not want add a 3rd party or pornography to your love life.  These, among a few other things, fall outside the bounds of “one woman and one man for life, legally bound by the state” and would (in my opinion) be a big mistake.  When in doubt about something, ask God and possibly a doctor if need be.  If you can’t get a clear answer, I’d recommend skipping it for now.  In my opinion, it’s better to be safe than guilty and build more blessing blockades.   Another aspect that you need to consider is if one of you is being degraded or disrespected by the sexual act in question?  Let’s take oral sex for example.  If my husband finds it disgusting and degrading, then it would be inconsiderate of me to ask him to do it all the time.  However, if he chooses to do that for me, I receive that as a HUGE act of love and kindness since I know that it is something that he doesn’t really care for.  You’ve got to be respectful of each other and your preferences.

Most of all, you need to be open with one another about these things!  Have conversations about the things that you like and dislike things you’d like to try, and things that really turn you off.  I’m telling you, these conversations can be QUITE eye-opening and very exciting.  They will help you to be more open to each other’s ideas, and give you an opportunity to discuss things ahead of time so that when you’re actually in the process of being intimate with each other you can simply focus on one another.

As I prayed for a nice scripture to wrap up this book, God gave me Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Hee hee, that’s not the ONLY thing that He makes straight!!!  May God bless your sex!

Christian’s comments:

Well, you made it. It has been thirty days. Are you ready to have sex? Don’t be surprised if you answered “No”. You may not be ready to go “all the way” yet. You may need to take a couple of days to build up to it. Just take it slow and enjoy the experience.

If you are like me, you like your wife to come on to you. However, if she follows Tamar’s instructions, she won’t this time. You must lead her in this aspect of your marriage, just like you do in every other aspect of it. If you’re not sure about that, don’t worry, God will lead you. I suggest that you pray together before you get started.

The best advice that I can give you is: HAVE FUN! Enjoy each other. Marriage gives you leave to do most of the things your dirty mind can think of. Try new things. Try new positions. Try new locations! You don’t have to be restricted to the bedroom. Ask your wife if there is anything she wants to try. You will quite possibly be shocked and pleasantly surprised by what she says. I was!

Husbands, buy your wife some lingerie. Wives, wear it! And not just in the bedroom. Surprise your husband by wearing it out to dinner under your clothes. Or better yet, TO CHURCH! Meet him at the door when he gets home from work wearing it (just make sure the neighbors don’t see)!

Husbands, surprise your wife too. Buy yourself a sexy pair of shorts or a thong at the lingerie store and strut around the house for your wife (just make sure the kids are asleep, or at a friend’s house). Or jump in the shower with her. Or surprise her when she’s doing laundry. Washing machines can be fun!

Maybe try costumes if you have always wanted to; perhaps a French maid. What I’m getting at here is, now is the time to start living out your fantasies with each other. But remember to pace yourselves; you have a long life together ahead of you.

Most importantly of all, keep God involved. He created sex. He wants you to enjoy it. With Him involved, it will be a very spiritual experience.

Well, this brings us to the end. I pray that reading and following this book helps you as greatly as writing it helped us. I think all that’s left to be said is, God bless, and great sex.

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Day 33: Celebrate

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Tamar

So these days were to be remembered and celebrated throughout every generation, every family, every province and every city; and these days of Purim were not to fail from among the Jews, or their memory fade from their descendants.  Esther 9:28

At this point in our fast, I was studying Beth Moore’s Esther: it’s Tough Being a Woman and it wasn’t but a day or two after our “first time” that this verse came up in our bible study.  Beth Moore was telling us about how important it is to God that we celebrate the times when He delivers us from the enemy’s hand.  The Israelites were delivered from slavery in Egypt, so they celebrate Passover.  In Esther they were delivered from an evil man’s plot to commit genocide, so they celebrate Purim.  As Christians we were delivered from sin and death by Christ’s death on the cross, so we celebrate Easter.  God loves it when we celebrate the miracles He’s performed in our lives.

God used this fast to deliver us from the bondage and slavery of sexual sin.  And I pray that He has done the same for you as well.  Therefore we should celebrate that deliverance!  The way that Christian and I have started celebrating is by fasting monthly during my period.

While some people may find the Old Testament laws “old-fashioned” and “out-dated” and “there’s no need to follow them all”, I feel that following them will bring us a much greater blessing than not following them.  With that being said, in Leviticus 15:19 it says, When a woman has a discharge, if her discharge in her body is blood, she shall continue in her menstrual impurity for seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening. And in Leviticus 18:19 it says, Also you shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness during her menstrual impurity. (Notice, it’s a repeated scripture…)  Now from some of the people I’ve talked to about these scriptures, they feel that this was simply for a cleanliness issue back then, they had no running water.  However, I’m not so sure.  This is blood that we’re talking about, and we KNOW how God feels about blood, it’s a serious thing for Him.  So, like I said earlier, I don’t think that God can give us his full blessing if we’re not following his laws; even the “old” ones.

So, anyway, back to celebrating.  As a celebration of how God has changed our marriage, every month for the 7 days of my period Christian and I mini-fast.  We change clothes in the bathroom, we hug, and 10 second kiss, and that’s it.  We use that time to back away from each other and draw closer to God.  During the week I pray that God draw out anything that is standing between God, Christian, and I before the 7th day.  And, so far we’ve had something to talk about every time.  On the 7th day, I take my purity bath, prepare myself for my husband, and become the lioness again – he leads.  And, it’s still amazing sex.  I’ll be honest, life still happens and there are still times when things don’t go quite as we hope they will, but the intimacy is more than I ever could have hoped for.  Glory to God!

Christian’s comments:

I know, husbands, I know.  You’re probably thinking “What? We just started having sex again after thirty days, and now you want us to fast a week every month!” I was thinking the same thing. Believe me when I tell you, as great as the sex is when you stop each month, it’s better when you start again after her period. Treat this short fast as seriously at the 30 day fast. The same rules apply. No sexual activities of any kind.

You will learn so much about one another during that week. It is actually a lot of fun. So be happy in the celebration. You will get so much closer to your wife, that the sex will become even more amazing.

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Day 32: True Intimacy

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Tamar

These [trials] have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  1 Peter 1:7

Honestly in writing this book, all it’s done is make me ask more and more questions about God and sex.  And I’ve got to say, since the first fast, Christian and I have… well… I’ll just say it’s been amazing, fun, adventurous, eye-opening, and just plain WOW!!!

In the beginning, we had agreed on 30 days; then on day 30 (after my purity bath) God told me to keep my mouth shut, my paws to myself, and let him lead.  I couldn’t touch him in any way sexually without him first touching me.  It was basically a really adult version of follow the leader.  We took things VERY slowly; we were starting over from the very beginning.  We had gone too fast in the beginning of our relationship and ended up swimming in a pond, this time we were going to take our time and get to the ocean!  God was leading Christian, and Christian was leading me.  Every time he stopped things, it screamed, “I love you and I respect you THIS much!”  It was an amazing feeling, plus, talk about building up the sexual tension!  Woo!

“Truth-day” came around and we stayed up until about 12:30 talking things out.  I asked questions, I needed all the details, and he answered them.  He said, “I’m sorry” and I said, “I forgive you”.  When our hearts are changed, everything changes; and from the moment I forgave him I had such an overwhelming desire for him.  We didn’t know what to do.  Was it still too soon to have sex?  What was God’s will for us?  So we asked God for a sign.  We, “laid out the wool”15, and He gave me a definite sign that pointed to a big fat “YES HAVE SEX”!  When I told Christian that God had said “Yes” and that I was still supposed to follow him, he took the lead, and although it was already almost 1 o’ clock in the morning, we took our time.  Stopping frequently to ask if it was REALLY God’s will for us to be doing what we were doing; just to make sure we were not going too quickly.  We’d already done that once and it almost cost us our marriage, we were NOT going to do that again!

Suddenly, I remembered my purity bath. I had purified myself with water, oil and perfume; yet Christian had done none of this yet.  That’s when God told me to “Anoint his head with oil”.  I poured some oil into my left palm and then put a dab of oil on my husband’s ear, hand and foot.16 “To put the oil on these three body parts is a reminder to us that we should constantly guard every part of our lives.  We must submit to God’s will in what we listen to and how eagerly we devote ourselves to his word (ear).  We must guard our actions and choices (hand), and we must carefully watch our walk though life (foot).”17 We prayed together asking God to bless our union for His glory and to purify Christian, cleanse his sins, and make him whole in Christ again.

Well, after that, although we were still taking our time we got down to business; and OH MY!  I am not kidding when I say, by FAR the BEST SEX OF OUR LIVES!!!  Never before had we felt so connected, so safe, so blessed by each other’s company, so amazingly stimulated, so intimate than in that moment in each other’s arms.  In that moment we both changed.  We changed from the world’s view of how sex is supposed to be, to how God MEANT for sex to be.  Between a truly intimate married couple.

THANK YOU GOD FOR MY HUSBAND!!!

Christian’s comments:

Are you ready for the best sex of your life? You better be, because you’re going to get it soon.  With all of the secrets, lies, and other “stuff” out-of-the-way, there will be nothing between you; nothing worrying you in the back of your mind. No questions you are burning to ask, or answer.  When all of that is gone, God can fully bless you with great sex.

We took our time that night. Yes, it built up great sexual tension and made us crazy for each other, but we wanted to make sure that we were following God this time. We would proceed a little way, then stop and ask Him if it was His will for us to go on. Our sign to go on was the rain on the roof of the house.

To explain this a little bit, I need to go back to the purity bath. That night Tamar gave me my first purity bath with the oil, but you can’t bathe without water. Tamar asked God “What about the water?” In that instant, it started raining – hard – and that was her answer. Every time I asked if I should go on, the rain would get harder and we could hear it on the roof. We went on that night, knowing we were doing things correctly according to Him.

Categories: The Crazy Mom Blog

Day 31: Purity Bath

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Tamar

So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, “Put away the foreign gods which are among you, and purify yourselves and change your garments.”  Genesis 35:2

Christian and I were drawing near to the end of our 30 days, and I just had this feeling in my gut that we weren’t going to just “jump right back in the sack” on day 30.  The morning of day 30 actually came and I still felt like it wasn’t time yet; like I needed to DO something first.  All morning long I had the word “purify” running through my head.  I had just spent an entire month learning who I was, how God saw me, and how to be the best wife I could possibly be; and I felt like I needed to do something…ritualistic.  So I looked up scriptures for purification rituals.  In almost every one of them they mentioned blood, water, oil and perfume.  Well, Christ took care of all the blood we would ever need, so I wasn’t concerned at all with that.  But the water, oil and perfume made sense to me; I could take a bath.  I remembered how in 2 Samuel chapter 11 when David saw Bathsheba from his rooftop she was taking a bath and had purified herself from her uncleaness.  So.  Blood: provided by Christ, check.  Water: take a bath, check.  Oil and perfume: I had a bottle of olive oil and some vanilla in the kitchen, check!

So, here’s my general procedure for the purity bath that I take, the Holy Spirit usually leads me to change things here and there from time to time, add a few things, subtract a few, etc.  Pray about it and if God is leading you to change something, feel free to do so.  Our experiences with God are uniquely ours, so your purity bath may look completely different from mine.  This is just what I have done.

When my period is completely finished, 7 days from when it started, I take a purity bath to dedicate myself to God.  It is to help me feel pure, inside and outside.  Because through the blood of Christ we have been made pure and don’t HAVE to do any purification rituals anymore, but I feel like sometimes as humans we need to DO something to help us remember that fact.  Plus, I have learned that God really loves symbolism, so I know that this process pleases Him greatly.   (Note: This entire process generally takes an hour or more depending on how long I sit, soak and pray.  So I usually try to carve out plenty of time in my schedule for it.  I really don’t like skimping on this very intimate time with my LORD.)

Step 1) I have an old soy sauce bottle that I use to mix my anointing oil; it’s just the right size and pours nicely. I never actually measure anything, but I use a cup of oil and a bit of pure vanilla extract (not a whole lot maybe a teaspoon, a little bit of this stuff goes a LOOOONG way) into the bottle.  These are the ingredients that God has inspired me to use, however, this bath is intimately yours and God’s so I highly recommend asking Him what He would like for you to use for your oil and perfume.

Step 2) I clean my bathroom concentrating on the tub itself, even if I just did it the other day, I do it again.  (Do NOT skip scrubbing the tub!  I did this ONCE and I will NEVER do it again.  The rest of the bathroom is less important, but you can not take a sacred bath in a dirty tub!  Learn from my mistake, do NOT skip this part of cleaning.)  Cleaning is a symbolic act, one where I am cleaning the dirt and grime from my bathroom and asking God to continue cleaning the dirt and grime of sin from my heart.  It is time spent on my knees in fervent prayer.  I thank God for forgiving me and for cleaning up my life and my marriage.  God has changed ME so much already and He isn’t done with me yet.  Praise God!

Step 3) Once everything is clean and all the dirt and trash are outside the room, I start filling the tub with the HOTTEST water I can possibly stand; as full as it can go without running over when I get in.  To me, this is like God’s cleansing fire and the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes, if the room is cool enough you can actually see the steam rising off the hot water just like the Holy Spirit moving throughout the room, filling your lungs.  It’s incredible!

Step 4) I kneel before my full tub and come before God on this sacred day, naked, unashamed, grateful for the work He is doing in my life, and sincerely apologetic for the things that I have done against Him.  I shake the bottle and mix the oil and vanilla together asking God to make Christian and I one flesh (the two shall become one flesh).  Then I pour it into the water and ask God to be the third cord that binds our hearts together forever.  I ask God to use this water to make me a virgin again, and to give us back all the missing pieces of our hearts.  I beg for His forgiveness.

Step 5) Read Romans 6:11-14.

Step 6) I completely submerge each part of my body in the water as I dedicate it to God for His glory and ask Him to purify and cleanse me.  I start with my feet and finish with my ears, eyes, nose, mouth and mind including swallowing a bit of the water and praying that He fill me with His words and that my words be pleasing to Him.  No more shall sin rule over me!  I lay there and think about the changes that God has made in me over the last days and how He loves me.  I continue to pray (and listen) as I rest in the presence of the LORD, letting him surround me and fill me with His Holy Spirit.

Step 7) Once I’ve soaked long enough, I lay down as far into the tub as I can and pull the plug on the drain with my foot.  As the water drains away from me I pray that my sins will be in the water and that as they drain away from me God will throw them as far as the East is from the West!  It’s the coolest feeling as the water drains; it feels like the sins are being sucked out of your body!  It only feels like this when you’re laying in the water though.

Step 8 ) (CAUTION: the tub will be soaked in oil and will be SLIPPERY at first so be VERY CAREFUL!)  I carefully stand up and take a shower, totally pampering myself.  I shave, wash my hair, and take my time; doing all those things that I normally never take the time to do.  I groom things, buff things, scrub things, anything to make me feel gorgeous.

Step 9) I clothe myself in clean white garments of righteousness.  (This is where the white panties/bra or jammies come in; I hope you were able to get some new ones.)  Now, while this doesn’t mean that I’m perfect; it does mean that I’m trying to be.

From this point forward, I am like the lions from Daniel in the lion’s den.  I keep my mouth shut and my paws to myself.  I have my husband show me how much I mean to him by not rushing things.  We’re talking days here, not hour’s people.  We’ll talk a little more about this later.

Christian’s comments:

 

Husbands, you don’t have to do your purity bath like Tamar listed hers, but rather let God lead you. I don’t take baths, but shower instead. And I don’t shave my legs.  You don’t have to shave your legs either… unless that’s something you do. I know a couple of guys that do, but it’s your prerogative.

Tamar blessed me by anointing my head with oil the first time after our first fast. After that I started taking my own purity baths. I prepare myself like it is my wedding day. I clean the shower. I run really hot water for my shower, use some nice smelling body wash and scrub myself. I use oil to shave my head and face, so I ask God to bless the oil so that I may purify myself for my wife.

I wore the typical black tux at our wedding, so I bought some black, silky boxers to wear. You don’t have to do this, but if your wife got dressed up in a new night-gown, or new white underwear, you should do something nice too.

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Day 30: Don’t look back

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Tamar

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.  1 Peter 4:8

The day that we talked was a defining point in our marriage.  That day when we decided; “Yup, this thing is forever.  No matter what. We’re not giving in.”  Our two lives truly turned into one on that night.  Through the sharing of a deep dark secret we were drawn closer together than we ever had been before.  Christian was so afraid that I was going to leave him.  He was so afraid that all of his clothes would be out on the front lawn when he got home, or the locks would be changed.  But none of that happened.  What happened was love and forgiveness.  Was I hurt?

YOU BET YOUR BANANAS I WAS!

But, did it make me love him less?  Strangely enough, No.  In fact, it made me love him even more, because he had FINALLY opened up to me!  I’d stayed with him through years of being emotionally and sexually bottled up inside over this, and now we had finally torn down all those walls.  He was TALKING to me!  It was the most amazing thing.  God worked a miracle in our marriage.  In the span of 33 days He had completely and totally changed two people so dramatically that we were acting like teenagers all over again!

This was my journal entry a few days after “Truth-day”:  “Lord, when will my heart stop hurting over the adultery and lies?  The pangs are so brutally painful.  It’s down to my soul, my marrow and it feels like something ripping apart inside of me.  I know why it hurts, I’m just wondering if it’ll ever go away.  I forgave him immediately, and I meant it too, but the words just keep popping back up into my mind!  The change in Christian however, is tremendous!  He’s back to the boy I met and fell in love with in high school.  You know the saying a ‘shell of a man’?  That’s what it was like.  He was just an empty shell of the man I fell in love with.  I still loved that shell of a man, and there were moments when he would peek his head out and be the Christian I’ve always loved, but he wasn’t happy and peaceful.  This Christian, on the other hand, is a happy, free, whole man.  This Christian is the man I wanted to marry, and I’m still so glad I did!  And I’m even more thankful that I STAYED married to him.  Thank you LORD!  Thank you for my new husband, THANK YOU!”

As you can see, I was still dealing with the pain.  I forgave him immediately, but that didn’t keep those names from popping back up into my head while I was doing the dishes or vacuuming.  And in those instances the pain was not just emotional pain; it was a physical pain, right in the middle of my chest, like someone was stabbing me with a newly sharpened pencil.  I prayed a lot about the pain in those first few days.  I was an emotional roller coaster.  I’d be high on the top of the hills when I’d think about Christian and the true intimacy we had finally found.  He treated me differently now, we were talking again, and OH GOOD GRAVY THE SEX!  WOO!  Then, I’d go plummeting back down to the bottoms of the hills the second, one of those names came into my head.  That’s when God reminded me of Lot’s wife.  In Genesis 19 it tells the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.  God is preparing to destroy these cities for their sins but Abraham’s nephew Lot is living in Sodom with his wife and family.  So God, showing mercy on Lot, sends 2 angels to rescue him from the city before it’s destroyed.  These angels were trying to save Lot from the sin surrounding him and the impending disaster and Lot hesitated!  If he stayed where he was he would die, and he hesitated.  How often are we like that?  We are so stuck in our sins that even though we know we’ll die if we stay in them, we hesitate to leave.  Then the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven, and He overthrew those cities, and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.  But his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. Genesis 19:24-26

God did precisely what He said He would do and the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed.  From the buildings, to the plants, to the people, everything, all gone in one sulfur-y swoop.  And what did Lot’s wife do?  She looked back!  For just a moment she looked longingly over her shoulder back to the only life she had ever known, the life that GOD was rescuing her from. And in that one moment she disobeyed the direct order of the angels “don’t look back!”  Through this story, God told me something.  “Tamar, I have delivered you from this sexually immoral life, now DON’T.  LOOK.  BACK!  Don’t look back at the things that you both have done and allow them to cause you pain.  All has been forgiven which means those things are GONE.  Don’t look back on them and allow them to hurt you anymore.”  This story has another thing to tell us about looking back.  Don’t look back on those times and wish for those sins to return to your life either.  You are so much better off now, don’t look back.

Promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved.  For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first.  For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them.  It has happened to them according to the true proverb, “A dog returns to its own vomit,” and, “A sow, after washing, returns to wallowing in the mire.” 2 Peter 2:19-22

Don’t.  Look.  Back.

Christian’s comments:

So, you have taken our advice and confessed to one another. You have taken a big step to a great marriage (and sex life). Now, DON’T LOOK BACK!

You have moved past whatever was holding you apart. Never return to it. Yes, you will think about it from time to time, that is natural, but do not dwell on it. Don’t long for things to be as they were before. Don’t ever think “I wish I never confessed to her.” Things will be rough in the beginning, but they will get better.

With the exception of our wedding day/night, I have never been happier in my marriage than I have been since our fast. Do you want to know why? Because the past is behind us and we have moved on.

Categories: The Crazy Mom Blog

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