“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18
In today’s Word of the Day we read the account of the creation of mankind. God created man, placed him in the Garden of Eden to guard and cultivate it and then God spoke the first recorded negative statement, “It is NOT good for the man to be alone.” Throughout the rest of the creation account God has commented on His handiwork and said, “It is good”. Yet here God steps back and says, “Nope, it’s not quite right yet…” And so we read how God forms the animals and has Adam go through and name them all in search of a suitable partner for himself. Yet all Adam really ends up noticing is how all the animals have mates that match and he has… empty space.
I think God really shows off His ingenious designing skills with this one because He *could* have said, “It’s not good for man to be alone…” and then immediately created Eve. But like the creative genius that He is, He made Adam wait. God gave Adam a tiny seed of His Master plan and then set Adam on a search for a partner, a help mate, but after hours and hours of naming and searching all he had found was a growing hunger for someone with which to share his life. Someone who looked like him, but different. Someone who sounded like him, but different. Someone who thought like him, only differently. Someone who was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh that fit back together perfectly just as a flesh and bone puzzle should. Someone who was “just right” for him.
While my husband and I were writing True Intimacy, I was VERY upset with my husband. I wasn’t happy in our relationship. I was frustrated and angry and hurt. One of the books that I used for research had been written for teens and suggested that they should write out a list of all the qualities of their perfect mate. Well, I was mad at my mate so I decided to make a list of my own. I kept thinking of what my dream guy would be like… you know, if I could find a way to ditch the current one. Except the further down the list I got, the more things I kept listing that my husband had done or was doing! I got to the end of the sheet and shook my head at myself. He might not be the perfect husband, but he certainly was “just right for me”. I realized that I did still love him and that maybe, just maybe I could still like him too. That was four years ago. I look at him now and thank God I didn’t give up on us.
We made it through that tough time, and so can you my friend. Find something, just one thing that you love about your mate and cling to that one thing. Grasp it with both hands, twist your fingers through it and stare at it. Encourage your mate on that one thing, let them know how much it means to you when they do (don’t do) it. But most of all, don’t give up! You can make it through this. Nothing is impossible for God (Luke 1:37), including an impossible marriage. Give yours to Him and see what kind of a message He can make out of your mess.