“The Spirit lifted me up and took me away. I went in bitterness and turmoil, but the LORD’s hold on me was strong.” Ezekiel 3:14
Friends, there are times in our lives when bitterness and turmoil are our only friends. BUT, the LORD’s hold on us is so much stronger than our grasp on Him. While we may falter in our ability to retain our devotion to Him, His love for us endures forever. While we hold on to the ability to fail Him daily, His love for us never lets us go farther than His ability to redeem our failings.
For these last few months I have been filled with a bitterness and turmoil that I can hardly explain. My life as I’ve known it for the last seven years has been turned completely on its head; it feels like everything around me has changed… and I haven’t been happy about it. I LIKED the way things were, I liked being my own boss and taking care of my home and family. I LOVED spending my days researching the Bible and reading books and blogs about it. I don’t do those things like I used to and it’s completely ruffled my feathers. I’ve been bitter about all the change. I’ve been bitter about all the emotional pain I’ve endured over the last four years in doing what I’ve felt God was leading me to do only to feel like I failed miserably in the attempt of it. I’ve been in utter turmoil over working outside the home and leaving my (more grown up than I’d like them to be) children. I’ve been tormented about the state of our home and our finances and our food and our… you name it. I have felt like I’ve had split personalities arguing in my head CONSTANTLY since just before the summer began. Over the last month or so I’ve pretty much lost the ability to sleep soundly at night and instead spend the wee hours of the morning tossing and turning and, like I said, fighting. Then I get up and go to work and pretend that everything is hunky dory in my life as I smile and tell people to, “Have a good day”, as they walk out the door.
I don’t have a single doubt in my mind; it has been God’s will for me to leave my children and go to work at Dollar General. And yet that is precisely what I have been fighting – God’s will. For the last couple of weeks I have been BEGGING Him to take this bitterness and turmoil away from me. They’re not who I am and they’re not fun to live with – which probably hasn’t made ME very fun to live with either. But you’d have to ask my husband and children about that though. And as I read back through those sentences I’m realizing the problem, I’ve been asking Him to take them away rather than giving them to Him willingly. I’ve been clinging to them with all my might, although I can’t imagine why! Well, that ends now!
In Jesus’ name I don’t just release my hold on Bitterness and Turmoil, I cast them out with as much vim and vigor as I can muster! In Jesus name I reject their hold on my soul and my sleep and my sanity! HALLELUJAH!
The LORD’s hold on me is STRONG and I praise Him for that! I praise the LORD that His hold on me is stronger than any other force in this universe (or any other that may or may not exist). My God is THE God; He is the King of all kings and Lord of all lords. He is the Master and the Creator. He is the beginning and the end; the all powerful and the all knowing. He is the lover of my soul and the defender of my dreams. My God is an AWESOME God; He reigns from heaven above with wisdom, power and LOVE!
My God is an awesome God!
Tamar Knochel 