“Till now the LORD has helped us.”
Several years ago Beth Moore introduced me to this passage of scripture where Samuel places a rock as a memorial and names it “Ebenezer” which means – stone of help. Since then I started collecting rocks, mostly small ones. It seemed like they just started presenting themselves. To me they were mile markers, lines drawn in the sand, growth marks on the door frame of my heart, God has helped me this far. They’ve created a visual way for me to see and remember the goodness of the LORD here in the land of the living. He HAS been faithful.
The LORD is my rock and my Redeemer. He is the cornerstone on which my life is built. He is my firm foundation that keeps me grounded when the storms of life come. Ad Oh, how they come! Yet I never face them alone. In each and every day, every mile of my walk through life is written in His book. He knows the number of my steps He knows the direction they will take and He knows the tilt of my heart. And what’s really awesome is that He doesn’t know my heart from the outside in, like everyone else. No, He knows my heart from the inside-out because that’s where He lives!
For a little over a year now I’ve written an article in the local newspaper. If you flip open the Hamilton County Reporter you’ll find my picture under the banner, “Not the Perfect Mom”. I want people to know that I’m not perfect and that God’s OK with that. I want people to know that they’re not perfect and God’s OK with them. And while I had suspected that my struggle with my lack of perfection stemmed from a certain level of insecurity, today I confirmed it.
While praying I was led to flip open the copy of Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity that just *happened* to be in the bag next to my chair. And right there on page 17 (and 23), primed and ready to convict me, was the fruit of the root of insecurity:
*a profound sense of self-doubt
*a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world
*chronic self-consciousness
*chronic lack of confidence in ourselves
*anxiety about our relationships
*living in constant fear of rejection
*a deep uncertainty about whether our feelings and desires are legitimate
*harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships
-“These expectations, for themselves and for others, are often unconscious. The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable. Ironically, although insecure people are easily and frequently hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery.”
But as if that wasn’t enough, Beth described how she fit into that little insecure profile and wouldn’t you know it she ended up describing me! So, I’ve decided that the time is NOW to read this book. And while part of me wants to dive right in and “get ‘er done”, there’s another part of me that wants to really dig in deep and do it well. I want to make sure that I don’t just pull off the fruit and call the tree dead, I want to dig it up by the roots and cast it into the sea! I don’t want to just say, “So long Insecurity”, I want to SHOUT it because I will KNOW that it is GONE!
So I’m making a reading plan and I’m posting it on here. 1) So that you all will hold me accountable. 2) So that, perhaps, if you saw something familiar in that fruit listed above, you might want to join me. Like an online book club! 😀
I was going to include the reading plan with this post, but my time is running out and I want this plan to be a good one so that I can get all the way through it. So I’ll try and post it on Saturday if at all possible!!! Thanks for understanding.
UPDATE: Here is a link to the reading plan for Beth Moore’s So Long, Insecurity You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us
Tamar Knochel 