Apart from Me

Today’s Reading: Ezekiel 14:1-16:63

And their whole body, their rims, and their spokes, their wings, and the wheels were full of eyes all around. Ezekiel 10:12

I have seen the eyes of Jesus my Lord. Eyes filled with such love and adoration I could hardly stand it. You see it all started because I was having a hard day. I was buzzing through our house wildly packing for our first family mission trip for Tamar Ministries to the largest demolition derby in the country to hand out Bibles. I was obsessing over having a banner for the table and what to put on it. I quickly became very discouraged by all the details and was forced to find solace in that place where God and I meet. I knew the chaos was getting the better of me and that I needed a deep cold drink of Living water before I died of thirst.

I retreated to my bedroom and shut out the chaos of the world… and packing where I cracked that most precious of books. I needed scripture, any scripture; I didn’t care as long as it was from His Word I knew it would help. I gulped down Acts 13:36 about David serving his purpose that God had set out for him. And I thought about what that means for us today. How we each have a purpose in this world in God’s grand plan; we’re part of that. Next I slurped down John 12:43 (they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. NIV) and was blown away with the thought of God praising us for a job well done. How amazing THAT would be! But I was still parched from the battle, I needed more. More water deep from within the well of Love. And God knew it too. Still frustrated and stressed I covered my face with my hands and rubbed my tired eyes. When I opened my eyes they fell on the bucket of ice cold water I’d been searching for. John 15:5 I am the vine and you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Apart from Jesus we can do nothing. I didn’t understand why, at the time, but I had to sip on this phrase for a while. Apart from Jesus we can do nothing. What does that really mean? I had to lay back and really chew on this one, apart from Jesus we can do nothing… apart from Jesus we can do nothing… I lay there, my head on my pillow, pondering, struggling to focus on the word of God and not my turmoil and stress and I prayed for help. I prayed for God to keep me in His grip because mine on Him was slipping rapidly away with every flash of worry. I asked Him to help me worry on His scripture and not my problems. I told Jesus that my physical eyes needed closed and my spirit eyes needed opened. “What is going on Lord? Why am I so troubled over something as simple as a banner for our booth? And then I saw them, His eyes, clear as day and filled to overflowing with love. The scriptures tell us that our eyes are a window to our soul, and it certainly is the truth. I’ve looked into a lot of eyes over the years, where they may be filled with love but always tinted with pain, regret, fear… None of them compared to His. The love displayed in His deep clear eyes was so intense that it is beyond words any mere human could ever compose. The love in His eyes could only be felt with a heart searching for it. And oh how I had been searching for it! I needed to feel His tender love in the worst way. I was hurting from the battle and His love is the only way to recover from it.

I pray I never forget the way those eyes looked, or what He did next. Though His eyes were clear to my spirit eyes, the rest of Him was like a mist in a dream, there but not quite there. He took His thumb and like a mother cleaning the dirt from her Beloved child’s face, He licked His thumb and wiped my right eye. Then He licked His thumb again and wiped my left eye. Apparently I had something on my eyes that was preventing me from being able to see clearly. Our Lord is so sweet!!!

After this rare and intimate encounter (one I will cherish in my heart forever) the Holy Spirit kept going. Next He took me back to the verse I had been meditating on. Apart from Me you can do nothing… and I kept saying “apart” over and over again. What was it about the word that was so special? Apart, apart, apart, a part, a part. . . A PART!!! Suddenly, I saw a pale pink heart like a rock, solid and secure – God’s love for us. Then that pink heart-shaped rock broke at the bottom tip and a little chunk fell off and moved away from the heart. Apart from Me you can do nothing. Then the little chunk moved back over and joined with the heart once again – fused back together and made both whole once more. A part with Me you can do EVERYTHING. Everything!

Apart = nothing

A Part = EVERYTHING!

After that, who cares about a silly old banner right?