Tamar: My Dearest Jesus, You know that I have nailed myself upon Your cross and allowed You to come down off of it to live within me and through me, right? OK. So why is it that there are times in my, OK, OUR life when I feel You calling me so strongly to take a leap of faith and trust You on something only to feel like that leap of faith lands me flat on my face? Lord, I thought the idea of a leap of faith was for You to catch us, not let us fall! So why are those times when I KNOW I am following Your lead and living according to Your will and things still fall apart? Why does that happen? Why is it that in those times where the pressure seems so intense that it feels like I’m in a pressure cooker and I’m wondering where I went wrong, You can be so deathly silent! What is the purpose? What do You mean that You do it for our good? (Rom 8:28) It sure doesn’t feel good! So how can it BE good?
Jesus: Beloved Tamar, Yes, I do work all things for the good of those who love Me and are called according to My purpose. No, they may not all feel good at the time, but that pressure is for your good and for the good of those around you as well. It is my fingers molding the clay of your life into the shape that I want it to be. There will be times in your life where the pain will be a piercing one, a gouging if you will. It is in those times where I am using the tool that I created (Isa 54:16) to form you into the exact thing I am intending for you to become. My love, you mention feeling like you’re in a pressure cooker, so I’ll use that example to illustrate My point. You use a pressure cooker to cook a meal faster than cooking it in the oven or on the stovetop. The pressure inside the cooker aids in speeding up the cooking time of the final product correct? Well, that is precisely what I have been doing to you My love. You asked Me what My will for you and your life was and I told you. You obeyed and stepped right into the furnace of My very own pressure cooker of life. It may not be feeling so great at the moment, but believe Me when I tell you that this temporary pressure and the lessons that you are learning through it are ever so much better than the alternative that would’ve come around if you had not followed My directions for your life! It would’ve taken twice as long! And Beloved, it only feels like you’ve fallen on your face is not that I actually let you fall. On the contrary, when you took that leap of faith I snatched you back up so quickly and placed you into the cleft of the rock so that I could cover you with My hand to protect you from My glory as I walked past! (Ex 33:12-23) Open your eyes Beloved as I remove My hand, look carefully and You will be able to see My footprints before you as you emerge from the rock that surrounded you and step out into the blinding light of day again. Yes, the darkness was intense and the pressure was near crushing during your time there, but that is only because I could not bear to allow you to leave that place and risk losing you to the Enemy. The battle that was waged was fierce, and it was all for you and your soul and your welfare. But do not be afraid, for you are worth more than many sparrows (Matt 10:31) and I love you with more fierceness than he hates you with. And THAT is all that you need to concern yourself with My Dove (SOS 2:14). He may hate and curse you, but I love you and I bless you and I will keep you safe from him and his schemes as long as you continue to follow my lead. Do not feel like your following me is all in vain, do not believe the Enemy’s lies that he is having his henchmen feed you! Following Me and My lead is worth every sacrifice, every pain and every sorrow, and not just when you get to heaven either. It’s worth it NOW! Think about all the things that you learned in that pressure cooker you just came out of! Could you have learned so much in a green pasture? No my love, you wouldn’t have. Trust Me, this way IS best and is necessary. You are now able to step from this experience into a time of teaching and helping others learn from YOUR experience! Isn’t that in itself worth it all? To be able to make an impact on someone else’s life?
Tamar: Jesus, I’m sorry. You’re right. Of course. 🙂 Thank You for the perspective check. I should’ve remembered that You never waste a hurt or allow us to go through something that isn’t going to be best for us in the end. No matter how painful. I should have remembered that You did not deliver Shadrack, Mesack and Abednego FROM the firey furnace but rather helped them get THROUGH it which in turn saved so many more than just those three men in the fire. (Dan 3) Yes, it is worth it and yes I did learn a LOT in that dark and pressure filled environment. I’m sorry that I acted so childishly while I was in there. And how much I squirmed under the pressure instead of just being still and allowing You to do Your work. (Ps 46:10) It’s just so hard to see in there!
Jesus: I know My love, but you also need to remember that I know the future. I knew that this is how you would react to the pressure. I knew that you would struggle and squirm under My firm hand. And because I knew, I was neither surprised, nor disappointed in you. Your outbursts towards Me, did still sting Me, as I was only helping you, but I forgive you and you need to forgive yourself My dear. If you can not forgive yourself, the Enemy will hold it over you and use it against you and that is the last thing that I want to happen to you! I died to make sure that he couldn’t do that to you, but only you have the power to claim that blood and hold it up as a weapon against him and his attacks on you. If you don’t run and hide behind Me it makes it much more difficult for Me to protect you. Don’t forget that either. I love you so much My Dove, please don’t mistake your pain for My displeasure of you. It couldn’t be farther from the truth! I am SO pleased with you, that’s why I’m pruning you! (John 15:1-17) To make you even BETTER! Fear not My Dove, together, we can do ANYTHING!!!
Tamar Knochel 