“He will spread His royal canopy over them.” Jeremiah 43:10
So, I am taking this verse COMPLETELY out of context today, but this phrase is precisely what is happening today too. His royal canopy is spread over me today and that banner over me is love. I opened this morning with the prayer, “Lord, search my heart and show me what’s inside. I need to know. If there is anything inside me that needs to come out please remove it today.” Through the process of this day I have come to realize that as terrified as I am that no one will come to the book signing this weekend, I am equally terrified that they will!
Who am I to have someone’s ear and tell them, “Thus saith the LORD”? Who am I to go out and preach this wonderful news of a King who loves us so much that He would send His one and only Son to die on our behalf so that He could spend eternity with us? Who am I to have ANYONE listening to a single word I have to say about anything? I am nothing but a fragile weak woman who is just as human as the rest of us. But the one thing I have going for me is that I KNOW that I am weak and in need of a Lord and Savior. And I have little shame in saying so either. And perhaps that is where my strength really lies. I am weak and I know it. And what’s more, I know that God is counting on me to be weak. And in some small manner, that is a relief. Actually, it’s a huge relief to know that He understands that I am weak and unable to carry this weight on my own. I certainly do NOT want to try and lift this burden by myself!
I’m terrified of who I might become with the knowledge of just how many souls are reading what I write. Pride can strangle a ministry if given the opportunity and I certainly don’t want that! And yet, God knows that that has been my chief fear from the very inception of my writing career. I fear celebrity and it’s destruction of families and individuals alike. But as much as I fear these things, I MUST trust in the God who called me to such things in order to use me to my fullest potential. In my time with Him today, in answer to all these fears, He pointed me to 2 Corinthians 12:7-10:
“So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
God, in His amazing grace protected Paul from Pride. So will He not also protect me from the enemy I fear the most as well? I pray so!!! Although I do pray that He doesn’t have to go so far as to send a “messenger from Satan to torment me” in order to do it!
Tamar Knochel 