“Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand?”
It is ALWAYS wise to consult God before diving headlong into a battle with the enemy. But I especially like how David phrases his question. “Should I go?” and “Will I win?” It’s kind of a big deal isn’t it? Knowing if you’re going to win the battle before you even go in, it has the potential to change the entire outcome of the battle. If you’ve been told by God beforehand that you WILL win the battle, but your team is losing at the moment, then you know the battle must not be over yet right?
If God has said that He would work all things out for your good, and He has (Romans 8:28), and they’re not looking good at the moment then God must not be done working things out then eh?
I really need this message today! It’s been a rough day. Sean woke up early to work out only to come back to bed frustrated and unable to work-out because Anna and Skippy were asleep on the couch in front of the TV. (They sleep together when there’s a storm.) When I went to get dressed for work I tried on my new pants but ended up taking them off because I had a little voice in my head telling me they’d look dumb with my shoes. When I came out to the kitchen for breakfast I looked into the living room and saw a gaping hole in the new blanket I had just finished crocheting! Just like my morning, my sweet little granny squares were unraveling from the centers. I have put DAYS, not hours, days into this blanket. Making each tiny delicate square from yarn that was given to me as a Christmas gift. I spent days designing and deciding just how I wanted to fit them all together. Weeks went by before it was all finished. But then things started unraveling. The first one I figured was just a fluke and I waved it off. But then it happened again, and again, and I knew I needed to do something. So I spent another DAY going through and pulling each center apart, tightening them back up and knotting them closed.
The last thing I wanted was for all those days of hard work and love to come apart. This blanket has been a work of heart from the very beginning, to see it destroyed would be… upsetting. So to see that even after going through each individual square and redoing them, they’re STILL pulling apart, well, I nearly cried right then and there! But Sean looked at me and said, “just fix them. It’s OK.” And so I did.
And while I sat there staring at those gaping holes and loose ends and feeling defeated and downtrodden a little voice inside just kept saying, “you’re not finished yet.” And I’m not. Not finished with that blanket, not finished with this Bible in a year challenge, not finished writing, not finished being an awesome wife and mom, not finished making new friends, not finished climbing the corporate ladder… I’m not finished yet. As much as this “Get ‘er done” girl wants to put a big red “DONE” stamp on everything and defiantly cross things off my ever-growing to-do list, I can’t; because I’m not done.
I have more to do, always more to do. More battles to win and more wars to fight. I haven’t reached the end of the loose ends, because just as I tie one off another unravels and I reach a new beginning, a new chapter, a new challenge, a higher rung. And it keeps me fluid, moving like water.
I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for seven years. Getting back out into the world has been harder than I expected. It’s not impossible and I’m stubbornly determined to make it work. But it’s not without its drastic changes and heartaches. My life is different now and I have to accept that. There once was a time when my highest goal was to feed, change and nurture a baby that is now feeding itself, uses the restroom quite proficiently and isn’t even with me for most of the day. My children have grown and I with them, but not without a few growing pains along the way. Yes, I’m having moments in this season of transition where my centers are unraveling. But then God blesses me with the time to sit and tie them back together. And for that moment, if only for that moment, the blanket of my life filled with unfulfilled hopes and dreams is whole and useable.
The battle’s not over yet. God’s not done working good for us today my friend. If God is with us then who could be against us? I mean REALLY? Who? Who can stand against a child of the One True King and live? We’ve read the end of the book (Revelation) we know how the story, our story, ends. We win! We’re just not finished yet.
Now off to figure out how to get to work today, my tire’s flat.
Tamar Knochel 