“one who sows righteousness gets a sure reward” Proverbs 11:18
Folks, I could really use some prayer. I am under some extreme spiritual attack. It’s been going on for a month or more now, but I’m coming to the point where I’ve become weary and less able to withstand the battle. I’ve started having trouble sleeping. My computer has been throwing extreme fits. My house has become a complete disaster area due to negligence and winter being so extreme. The list could go on and on, but I’ll really just give you that much to work on. I have noticed from past experience that great breakthroughs generally follow fierce spiritual attacks like these. I have also noticed that I have 84 days left in my “Write through the Bible in a Year” challenge from the LORD. Now friends, I have been working on this for the last 3 years and have never been this close to actually accomplishing the goal. Not ever.
Judging by the fierce spiritual attack I’m guessing that this is a challenge that Satan REALLY doesn’t want me finishing. Well, he doesn’t get to win. I said I was going to do this and I’m going to. Period. There are so many days, especially lately, when I have been so tempted to write nothing, or I have simply run out of time to write anything halfway meaningful. At one point I thought I was done writing and I was planning on just re-posting all of my original writings. But then when the time came to do it, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stay away that long.
For whatever reason I don’t fully understand, God wants me talking to you all every day (except Friday). He wants me sharing my life and many of my deepest thoughts and emotions with you. (And some of you are people I’ve never even met in person before!) Yet I trust Him and His plans for me. I trust that perhaps something I say will be meaningful to you in some way, shape or form. At least I hope and pray that it is anyway.
I guess what I’m saying is that Satan is heavily tempting me to give up and I need your prayers to pull me through. As much as I LOVE writing, there’s only so much interference a person can run before she wears out and has nothing left to give. Although, those are generally the moments that you tend to get the most from me it seems. So maybe this right now is extremely beneficial to you. I can only hope so anyway. I have a lump in my throat the size of Houston right now trying to fight back the tears that are threatening to spill over and betray my frustration. I feel like things are unraveling before my eyes and there’s nothing I can do about it but watch it happen. And yet, who is to say that that’s not a GOOD thing? Maybe the very thing that is unraveling is the very thing that’s been blocking me from the next step. Maybe this thing that is unraveling has been the very thing that has been binding me up from moving forward. So perhaps as disconcerting as this feels maybe it’s the best possible thing that could happen for me. I mean God does say that He works ALL things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
GOSH it feels good to get all this out! I love you guys! Thanks for always being here for me… even though most of you are not physically HERE with me, like, ever! 😉
Tamar Knochel 
You are in my heart and in my prayers.
Thank you so much! I really really need them now!