OK, so this is yesterday’s post. Sorry about that. Life got more fun than I was expecting it to. 😉 But really, it’s to our benefit through because this is not at all the post I would have written for you, had I written it yesterday. This is much better.
You may have noticed, you may not have, that my posts as of late have been a bit.. detached. That would be because God has been working on me in a VERY sensitive area, a little too sensitive to share with the whole world. This post is the beginning of me opening up to what He’s been working on – FORGIVENESS. Imagine that. J Be blessed my friends. I love you so dearly, you have no idea!!!
I just did something I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to do.
When I left my previous church I shook the dust off my feet when I left. I was JOYFUL at finally being allowed to leave that place that wasn’t allowing me to use my anointing. However, over the last few days God’s shown me how much of that dust remained stuck to my feet and was beginning to slow me down in this race of life. While I had taken the pain they had caused me and done my best to give it to God to heal, I hadn’t fully given it to Him. I hadn’t fully surrendered the wounds of the Pastor’s rejection of me. And bit by bit I became amazingly bitter towards, not just him, but the church as a whole! The majority of the people associated with the church had never done anything to hurt me, yet when I would think back on those times I included the entire church in my pain. Time turned the pain that had been inflicted into bitterness… also known as unforgiveness.
I was recently contacted by a good friend from that church (who hadn’t realized we weren’t going there any longer) and asked if I would write a piece for the Advent Devotional. I told her I would think about it, but then quickly decided I wasn’t going to. My reasoning? They had their chance of being blessed by my blessings and they missed out on it, too little too late right?
Today, through praying about a completely different (and seemingly unrelated) situation that didn’t even involve me, God said this:
“So you think it’s OK to use the pain they inflicted on you as an excuse to deny them their RIGHT of fellowship with ME through you? Interesting. If I had done that, you’d be going to hell. Fellowship with Me is every human being’s birthright. You all were CREATED for fellowship with Me. Denying someone that right is not Grace, it’s not forgiveness and it’s not OK. You of all people know that Tamar. You also know that withholding forgiveness from someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only hurts you. Write the advent devotional. SHOW them your forgiveness. The scars you wear tell the story of where you’ve come from, but they do not define where you’re going. And they certainly should not define how you behave toward those who wounded you. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, it’s the kisses of the enemy you need fear! Jesus wears His scars to this very day. They have not healed to the point of disappearing, and they never will, because they define who He is. They define who YOU are. They tell the story of how you all came to be called ‘Children of God’ once again. Yes. That person hurt you, I know, I was there with you when it happened. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive them for the pain they caused. I’ve forgiven them and you need to too. If you don’t, it will only eat YOU up. You battle not against flesh and blood but against the power and principalities of this world. Don’t shoot the hostage that stands between you and the Enemy. That PERSON isn’t the one who wounded you. I did. I’m the one that created that scar. It’s better to go into heaven without a hand, than hell whole. That scar is from the heart surgery I performed on you that day. Don’t blame the human behind the pain, blame Me. You’re welcome.
I saved you that day. You realize that don’t you? I saved you from a fate worse than death; a life headed in the wrong direction! It’s time to scrape the mud off your sole and move on sweetheart. Yes, there was pain, but you’ve got to let Me take it from you now. It’s holding you back. Shake off the things that hinder you and run that race I’ve set out for you to RUN. Yes, there WAS pain, but there has also been healing. Let go of the pain and cling to the healing. Let go of that heart of stone and embrace the new heart of flesh filled with blood and love toward someone who is the face of a defining moment in your life. I used them to make you who you are created to be, how can you fault them for that? How can you hold that against them? I don’t! I used them in a powerful way to powerfully change you for the good of you and them and the others around you. I did it. Not them. I am God. I know what I’m doing. I know the plans that I have for you. I know the plans that I have for your future, the plans filled with hope and not destruction. Did that pain destroy you? No. Did it destroy something inside of you that didn’t belong there? Yes. Did it bring you to a place of closer intimacy with Me? Yes. Then wouldn’t you say it was worth it? I do.
I love you. I don’t want what is good for you; I want what is BEST for you. Vaccines may hurt, but they keep you from getting sick. A shot of penicillin may hurt, but it causes your body to heal from the inside out. Consider this pain from Me a shot in the arm. It may hurt, but it hurts a whole lot less than what would happen without the shot!
I love you. You can’t ever forget that My Beloved Child. Not ever. I love you with a love that surpasses anything you could hope or imagine and I’m never going away. I will always be with you. I will always be there to give you the shot in the arm that you need at the precise time that you need it. Yes, it may hurt, but it’s good because I am good. And you can take THAT word to the bank!
Tamar Knochel 