“When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.” Genesis 29:31
Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we think that they will. Jacob worked for seven years to have Rachel as his wife, only to wake up the next morning with Leah in his nuptial bed. Then in order to get Rachel he worked another seven years. Leah was hated by their husband, while Rachel was loved. Leah had children while Rachel had none. Life just simply doesn’t go according to our plans does it?
I mean, you can almost guarantee that Leah didn’t plan on being despised by her husband, or that Rachel had planned on being barren in a society where fertility was the only thing a woman was really prized for. When we look at how Leah named each successive child we can see what she was feeling at the time that she bore them.
Reuben: “Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.”
Simeon: “Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, He has given me this son also.”
Levi: “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.”
Judah: “This time I will praise the LORD.”
With each son she hoped against all hope that this son would turn Jacob’s eyes toward her in love, yet they never did. And by the time Judah arrived, she had finally figured out that the fruit of her loins wouldn’t turn his eyes toward her, so she turned her eyes toward God instead. At some point in between Levi’s birth and Judah’s she came to the end of herself and figured out that no matter how many sons she gave to Jacob, it would never be enough to make him love her they way he loved Rachel. She longed to be prized and doted on, she longed to be held like a priceless jewel in his crown. She longed for him to linger in her presence just because he loved her presence so much. She longed for him to talk to her and tell her the secrets of his heart; to tell her about his dreams and his hopes, his fears and his aspirations. But all she got from him was his duty. His duty to perform his marital duty toward her, to provide for her needs, to give her the opportunity of children, a roof over her head and food in her belly. Yet those weren’t the things that she longed for from him. She longed for his undivided attention.
For years there were times that I would do absolutely everything in my womanly power to try and turn my husband’s attention toward me. Until one day I figured out that no matter how hard I try to get my husband to look at me, it’s not going to make a difference. So I took my eyes off my husband and turned them toward Jesus instead. And I’ll never take them off Him again.
My husband is neither my problem nor my responsibility, he’s Jesus’. My husband is not my god, nor is he my savior, Jesus is. While my husband is the person God uses to provide for our family, he is not our provider, Jesus is. While my husband is the head of our household, he is not our leader, Jesus is. For years I looked to my husband to be the source of many things in my life, without realizing, he’s human and unable to provide for me all the things I really need. But Jesus is both able and willing.
In today’s reading we got to watch as Leah did everything in her power to win her husband over. And then, there between verses 34 and 35 we see the change in her focus. While her husband wasn’t willing or able to give her the love she longed for, Jesus was. And the same is true for each and every one of us today. While our husband’s may not be willing or able to give us the deep and fulfilling love that we long for, Jesus can!
While our husbands’ may not talk to us about what is in their hearts, Jesus does. While our husbands’ may not be able to provide for all our spiritual, emotional or physical needs, Jesus can.
Jesus can and is more than willing to take all the time you need to have a conversation with you about anything and everything that you want to talk about. And more! Take some time to curl up with the Good Book today and see what He has to say to you through His word. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to come and speak to you and with you and through you. I think you’ll be amazed at the intimacy He longs to have with you; an intimacy that no human bond can ever achieve.
Jesus is ALL you need.
Tamar Knochel 