“And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.” Genesis 11:6
I’m feeling rather hopeless at the moment. Not that I should be, I have no reason to be hopeless. You see, for the last four weeks I’ve been working on starting a preschool, Grace University. It’s been a dream of mine for many years now and God has just given me the “go ahead” on it. I’ve been going like gang busters this whole time, nothing Satan threw in front of me could stop me or keep me from believing that getting this preschool started by September 3rd was possible, until this weekend.
I received an email from the pastor of the church where we have been hoping to hold the preschool. They need $500 up front to cover their insurance costs, which I completely understand, except I don’t have $500. And I’m coming to realize that had they asked for 500 signatures, or 500 waffles or 500 monkeys I probably wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at them and just said, “OK, let me go take care of that for you, I’ll be right back.” But as soon as you throw a dollar sign in front of that 500 I become suddenly paralyzed. Monkeys I can find, money, well that’s much harder.
I know it sounds silly, but it’s true! At least that’s the way things seem to be working in my head anyway. I have apparently been so brainwashed by Satan to think that $500 appearing in the next seven days is just too impossible for me. Oh sure God can provide it for someone else, but give it to me in order to do what He’s asked me to do, no way. I’m not sure where the hang up has come from, or why I have it. But one thing is for sure! I want to get rid of it forever!
I have had more financial miracles happen to me than I know how to count, yet when it comes time for me to need another one all I do is pout and doubt. It makes no sense! But I guess I’m in good company seeing as how that’s exactly what the Israelites did. God parted the largest body of water around so that they could walk across on dry ground. Yet three days later they’re thirsty in the desert and suddenly they forget who they’re following, you know, the God who just parted the waters. “Maybe if we ask nicely He will give us some water. Nah, we’ll just moan and complain and talk about life being better in slavery, that’ll work.” Yeah right! Where DO we get This feeling of hopelessness in the sight of the giver of Hope Himself?
I feel like Hagar after she had been cast out of Abraham’s house (again) and she was sitting near a well dying of thirst. I know the well is near, yet I’ve refused to drink from it, why? Sadly, I don’t know the answers, only more questions. But I know the answer giver, He’s my friend.
Speaking of friends, I was sharing a bit of my angst with my friend Tracy yesterday and she asked me, “Stand firm on what you know to be true.” And it made me think, what do I know to be true? I know that this preschool is definitely part of God’s plan for me, He told me so years and years and years ago. I know that now is the time for it to happen because He told me that too. So I’m taking these two Truths and holding them up to the circumstances around me that seem to be telling me something different and now I have to decide, which one do I believe? The two truths that God told me, or the things that are contradicting them? I’m going to choose to believe the Truth from God and allow Him to deal with the things that are standing in my way to making those two truths become a reality in my life.
I also know that Satan would do ANYTHING to stop this preschool from happening. He knows what kind of a school we’ve dreamed for It to be and he knows that we’ll do everything we can to make it just that. Grace University. 
Tamar Knochel 