I’ve been having a rough week this week, things haven’t really been horrible, just not great either. It’s been a lot of sleepless nights, vivid dreams I can’t seem to remember and some I’d rather not. But today things seemed harder because today was the end of an era.
I’ve written a book for God with my husband and have not been able to publish it yet. We have a self-publishing company that we’re planning on going with, but the money for the project just isn’t coming in at all. God confirmed to me two Weeks ago that it is His will for me to be creating a program, to go along with the book we wrote, for small groups to go through the book together and support each other. He confirmed this to me by having the publishing company send me a flyer for their “publish two books for the price of one” sale. So, I’ve got to admit that when I saw the flyer the day after I realized that it was God’s will for me to write a companion journal for True Intimacy I assumed that it also meant that the funds for this whole project to get it off the ground would be here by the ending date of the sale… today.
As you have probably figured out, no money fell into my pockets from the sky today. And I have to admit there is a big part of me that wants to be disappointed about it. But at the same time I also know that GOD knows the plans that He has for me. They’re plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future. Because I have called upon Him, I have come to Him in prayer and He has listened to me. I have sought Him with my whole heart, so I will find Him. He will bring me back from the captivity that we are in (financially). He will gather us from all the nations and places where He has banished us to and will bring us back to the place from which He carried us into exile. (Jeremiah 29:11-14)
You see, there is something I have learned over the last few years of getting to know God more intimately… He really likes the dramatic last second rescue. He likes to be our knight in shining armor, riding in on His white horse to save the day. And why not? He is God after all, it’s not like He can’t do it. In Jeremiah 32:27 He tells us “I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for Me?” IS anything to hard for God? Is it too hard for God to get $25,000 together and into my bank account in 14 days? Of course not! So why didn’t He do it then? Because He has something better in mind that’s why!
He knows that it’s not my big dream to pay someone to publish our book, it’s my dream to have someone pay me to publish our book. And I believe that He will do it that way too.
Tamar Knochel 